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Is it ok for 17 y/o to date a 15 /yo??

Tagged as: Age differences, Big Questions, Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 July 2011) 15 Answers - (Newest, 29 July 2011)
A female Ireland age 30-35, *nonymousunknown writes:

Is it ok for a 17 year old (like me ) to date a guy whos almost 15?...

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A male reader, idoneitagain Australia +, writes (29 July 2011):

Yes, the fact that you are older than he is may be part of what he finds you attractive for. However, there are lots of different reasons why we find one person or another perosn attractive, that's ok. The main thing is that you both like each other and are good for one another, if you have a natural connection then why not? Just keep in mind that he is younger, emotionally he is closer to being a boy than a man, so I wouldn't engage in the kind of relationship he isn't ready for, but with honesty, kindness and thoughtfulness you two can figure out what is right and what is not for you both.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (28 July 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI don't see too much of a problem as long as the parents are ok with it...

is the concern the age gap in general or that the girl is older than the boy?

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A female reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx United Kingdom +, writes (28 July 2011):

xTheAlmightyDuckx agony auntWell yes i would be abit careful about that. You have to be kinda sure that just because your older isnt the only reason he wants to go out with you, as im sure their are quite a few boys who thinks the older the girl the more expeirenced they are.

Have you two been friends for long ? you can normanally tell if boys are using you just by some of the feelings you get, did he want to march straight into a relotionship before even knowing you that well ?

If you really think he just wants to go out with you because he values you as a person and you have alot in common then give it a go, i agree with many people that i wouldnt do anything sexual just yet. Kissing and cuddles are fine but i would leave it there.

Best of luck x

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A female reader, maverick494 United States +, writes (28 July 2011):

Well OP, when a 15 year-old guy has something going on with a 17-year old girl he is often seen as a stud. After all, he was able to romance someone 2 years older than him. I know when I was still in highschool it was a pretty big deal. Then again, if he's really crazy about you I'm sure he just views it as a bonus. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

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A female reader, anonymousunknown Ireland +, writes (28 July 2011):

anonymousunknown is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you all for the responses, this guys a guy who i have alot , i mean ALOT in common with, for now we dont care about the small age gap, here in italy, you could be 10 years older n its still legal hahah, but i have risen a concern, that i tried to forget about with reasurances from some friends, that since IM the older one , the big reason why he's with me is because of my age?..

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A male reader, idoneitagain Australia +, writes (28 July 2011):

You can date, but he is very unlikely to have the emotional maturity to handle a sexual relationship. If you are ready for a sexual relationship and want one, it might be unfair on him to try and have one with him as he is only 14. However, the most important thing is how you feel about each other and treat each other. If you both like each other and are good for one another, you can date, and wait until he is older and ready in an emotional sense for a sexual relationship before starting one. Waiting may be a legal requirement too, at his age it may be illegal for you to have any sexual contact with him, often the age of consent is 16. Maturity is part of the reason this kind of law is in place.

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A female reader, nessa123 United States +, writes (28 July 2011):

I think its ok for a 17 year old to date a 15 year old because i think its perfectly fine.I also think the age doesnt matter the most it's how the person is.

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A female reader, ButterFlyBucket4698 United States +, writes (27 July 2011):

Right now it would be kinda weird, he could get made fun of,

you could get made fun of. Honestly I don't think you guys

would do anything sexual yet.

If it was me I wouldn't do it but its not me, Its You.

If you guys really like each other you both wouldn't care

about the rumors, but if your love is strong then you would

wait ac-couple of years.

It's easy to give you advise but I know it's harder to do.

I can't sit here and tell you that everything will be ok and

you guys will re-unite in the future. I'm giving advise, not

lying.

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A female reader, missy_musk United Kingdom +, writes (27 July 2011):

missy_musk agony aunthun this could be seen as a big deeal by his parents as he is technically underage... if his parents are ok with the relationship and you are not having sex then i dont really see a problem. if his parents do have a problem then hun do stay away. afterall, if they inform the police, then as your the older one you will be getting the shi**y end of the stick so to speak. do keep us updated on what you end up doing!

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States +, writes (27 July 2011):

Fatherly Advice agony auntAnon,

Why would you want to?

At your respective ages girls are more mature than boys so the age gap is greater than it looks. You may be over the age of consent in your country and he is under so some legal questions could come into play if you become sexually involved. At 17 you will be moving on to University or work soon. At 14 he is starting High School. That is going to be like living in 2 different worlds. And, He doesn't have a drivers license.

Aside from it just looking bad, I don't see that there is much in it for you. You could do better.

FA

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (27 July 2011):

eyeswideopen agony auntIf it's okay with the parents it's okay. Of on dates you'll have to do all the driving.

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A female reader, Tbosse South Africa +, writes (27 July 2011):

Tbosse agony auntNo, unless no sex is involved

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2011):

Its okay for a 28 year old to date a 26 year old. I personally don't see a problem with it, but other people will so be careful!

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A female reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx United Kingdom +, writes (27 July 2011):

xTheAlmightyDuckx agony auntHey. Well it depends really do you and this 15 year old have a big problem with the age gap ? if not and you both get on and you want to make a go of it then yeah its fine. Some people care about age and our very picky about the age of people who they go out with, while as others just see it as a number and aslong as they like the person will go out with them no matter what age they are.

Hope this helps x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2011):

I think it is. My boyfriend is 18 and im 16 and nobody i know thinks its a big deal.

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