A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My bf and I had been fighting a lot. His main argument is that I have too many gay friends, and yes I do and I always have gay man friends in my life. I only go out occasionally to have drinks and talk, mainly about work since I work with them. Sometimes, I meet them after work for drinks. Most of the time I spent time with them is when my bf is working, so that I would not be alone. My bf said it was ok to hang with my friends; but now he is making a big deal about all this. I have spent many nights and day alone because he is been working; now that he is off, he decided to go out and not come back until 4 am in the morning, then yesterday he did the same thing. I just found it unacceptable, I never did this to him, never, I felt so lonely and depressed over the weekend; he just literately abandoned me over the weekend. I am so sad and depressed about the whole situation, I moved from far to be with him,and now I am alone, lonely... I don't know what to do... I can't have a conversation with him, he always turns things around and I am the guilty one. I have done nothing wrong... I was happy until the moment he started to make horrible comments about my friends and I hate it. He is sexiest, he can go out and not come back until late, but I can't. I have never gone out without him knowing where I am....
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female
reader, unmeidaagonyaunt +, writes (29 August 2011):
 Been there, done that, got the scars to prove it.
You are being controlled by a weak-willed, insecure man, honey. And it's time for you to call him on his (stuff) and get outta there!
Any red-blooded straight male who is jealous of the bond between a woman and her gay male pal(s) is not worth your time.
A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (8 August 2011):
 Sweetie, he is controlling you, and you are allowing him to do so. This type of a relationship will NOT get better with time. He has no right to tell you what to do, who you can be friends with, who you can go out with. Please don't stay in a relationship where you are miserable and lonely! It is HEALTHY for people to have friends, gay, straight, whatever...it is NOT healthy to sit alone all of your time off waiting for your mate to make time for you. It would be best for you to cut the ties now if he can't understand that what he is asking of you is controlling and wrong. Everyone needs friends! Think about what advice you would give to a friend who was in your situation. Wouldn't you tell them the guy was being unfair? Of course you would. Your relationship is very one sided. I'm afraid he's a controlling bully. I hope you'll treat yourself with love and respect and move on. I'm sure you can do better.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (8 August 2011):
Well that would be simple. Leave him. Never let anyone force you to choose between them and someone else. Once they get that kind of control over you, you're done. Since you can't have a decent conversation about this without him turning it around and blaming you, I don't see how this relationship can survive.
He insults you by going out till 4 am and then denying you your time with your friends. Is this the kind of man you want to stay with for the rest of your life? He will poison everything that's good about your life and isolate you. And you will resent him for it.
Leave him now. He is already causing your misery and sorrow and he is a selfish, controlling hypocrite. I'm sorry but this is how he comes across from your post and that doesn't sound like any man I'd like to be with. Why should you settle for less when you deserve better?
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