A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi Cupids.I am a married man and I am friendly with a married woman whose daughter is in gymnastics with my two daughters.Recently she has been confiding in me about how her husband and her don't do things together and that she is unhappy in her marriage and wants to leave.Why is she doing this? This seems to be really personal information that she is sharing with me. I feel like she might be hinting. We are attracted to each other and both know it but we have been keeping it at a friendship level. But now I am wondering why she is doing this? Any opinions? Could it be she is trying to tell me she is interested in having an affair with me?I am wondering what to do about it.Thanks.
View related questions:
affair, married man, married woman Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ShiShisAdvice +, writes (30 July 2011):
 Ah, women are tricky, and you are walking straight into a trap! Be warned...
Your life will be destroyed if you go any further. What I suggest, is that you have your WIFE take your daughter to gymnastics class from now on. Don't ever go back lest it's for a competition meet where the whole family will attend. That will make it CLEAR to this "other woman" that you are off limits.
Follow my advice.Though women do share intimate details of each other's life with each other, when we do it with a male, we are simply looking for a way in.
A
female
reader, mslee +, writes (21 July 2011):
Affairs only bring pain. I've been having an affair with a married man for years and I'm thinking - what's the point? I've fallen in love with him, but will never be able to be with him.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2011): If you was completely happy in your marriage you would not be here asking for advice,so is it you whom is hoping she wants an affair
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (20 July 2011):
 In addition to what the others have said, I'll tell you this much: the fact that she's confiding in you is perhaps the best indicator that she isn't thinking about anything sexual with you. Otherwise, you'd be in bed by now.
Like Maverick said, don't touch this with a ten-foot pole. Like Eyes said, how happy are you in your own marriage?
Why don't you suggest that she visit Dear Cupid, so we can advise her on her problems? Sometimes, people complain about their problems but they really have no intention of finding a solution, you know? They just want to keep going about how bad things are, oh how bad, oh, oh, oh...
...............................
A
male
reader, Tom Obler  +, writes (20 July 2011):
 She may well be hinting at an affair. But remember, they all say the marriage is unhappy and they want to leave. But, why do you want an affair? Is your marriage unhappy? Do you not want your wife?
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2011): Yes, she wants to have an affair, get a divorce, and run off into the sunset with the man of her dreams, namely you.So, what to do? Go out into the parking lot and have mind blowing sex in the car, the best you could possibly imagine! Then, run off into the sunset, everyone's problems will be solved!But, it doesn't work that way.Instead, you will have an affair, you both will feel great about yourselves, and each other. Then, reality will hit, the sex is just sex, like most other sex, your families will be destroyed, your wife and her husband will be deeply hurt, your kids will hate you, and in the end you will probably end up alone or still with your wife, who will know till the day she dies that her husband cheated on her.Both marriages will have way more problems than they have now, as will every other involved individual from the kids to the grandparents.But, if you really like dealing with major life problems, then have an affair, because that will do it for you.If you are unhappy in your marriage, then see a counselor and work on your marriage. Affairs never help, except to expose all the problems, by blowing a hole wide open in the marriage.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2011): at a church breakfast the speaker spoke about "emotional whores" - this concept is rife currently ( women bitching about their spouses to attentive males)
this woman seem to be the one who is angling her emotions towards you. now do you REALLLLY want to full the void in her marriage. do u really want to destroy your kids lives.
do u reallllllly want to end up alone BECAUSE affair partners usually do. lives wrecked. marriages torn apart. for what ??
READ THIS:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/cheated-on-my-husband-and-am-riddled-with.html - perhaps it will make u think twice. imagine if it was YOUR wife sleeping around.
LoveGirl
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (20 July 2011):
 Are you unhappy in YOUR marriage?
...............................
A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (20 July 2011):
 If she's really that unhappy in her marriage, she would've divorced by now. Don't get dragged into anything and just keep it at a friendship level. You have a family, so don't give it up for an affair that probly won't last.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2011): well said Maverick494 :)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2011): She may not be thinking an affair with you (at this time), but she IS looking for male attention and she is heading for trouble. And so are you if you give her any signals that you will get involved with this situation. And you can very well tell her that it makes you uncomfortable when she talks about her personal life with you. She should be talking to her girlfriends, not a male person she is attracted to. Or here's a thought...she should be talking to her husband/getting marriage counseling and figuring out why she is feeling the way she is before taking the easy way out or screwing up two families with children in thinking a temporary sex/male attraction fix is going to solve all her problems!
Good luck with this one, and good for you for noticing the signs and looking for guidance before doing something you will regret.
...............................
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (20 July 2011):
I wouldn't touch this with a ten feet pole. Keep it safe, whatever her intentions or your attraction to her. Simply say you feel sorry her marriage isn't what she wants it to be and that maybe she should talk to her husband about this and try to work it out through counseling.
If she's really interested in you, she will let you know in another way. And you will have to smother her efforts. Get real, you two hooking up could only end in pain. Having an affair with her will bring agony to 5 people (your daughters, her daughter, your wife, her husband) and will tear both of your families apart. Keep being a friend to her like you are now and work on your own marriage.
...............................
|
