A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i have a question and i wish that most of the man can answer this. is woman or girl friend or wife needs to be jealous or angry or be mad or upset to their man when they are watching porn. do we woman needs to worry about it? what is you man thinking why you are watching porn? is it because you are not anymore content with your partner or what? what is really going on in between????? thank you very much for your cooperation.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008): Dear ms anonymous,
Unfortunately it's difficult for me to distinguish between you and the other Ms anonymous... No matter, anyway.
This woman shows a huge lack self-esteem because she thinks all women think the way she does. She dosen't understand the concept that we are all different and we are all unique. Because she thinks it's disgusting she thinks all women should to and if they don't she abuses them and thinks they're weak. This shows a lack of confidence, because she seeks to remould the whole world in her own image, something that no matter how hard she tries is impossible to do. She also thinks all men think the same, but they don't, some men are not interested in porn and some men actively hate it. A confident woman dosen't generalize and dosen't seek to abuse people who think differently from her.
The fact that she thinks women who accept or even like porn must have low self esteem, merely shows her up to be a overbearing, rude, opinionated woman. If she had a partner who didn't look at porn and gave her the love that she is surely lacking, do you think she would be shouting and abusing other men and women for having different intrests and opinions from her.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): the woman who posted that women are losing respect for men who watch porn is right..I actually think she made a very good point about women accepting porn as having bad self esteem...does she have low self esteem , I dont know about that, I see no evidence of that from her posts. Simply because she disagrees does not automatically give her low self esteem. there are many reason that MANY women find porn bad...and she has some valid points in my honest opinion, even though I personally have no issue with porn, I can understand why many people do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): Hell honey, boy you got everybody started ms anonymous. Luckily for the PORN PIG, there are many of us women out here willing to compromise and take him on. Don't worry honey just go back to your wonderfull porn avoiding husband and don't you worry about us all.
Now back to the competition. Thanks all you guys that answered, even though it was a small sample, there was enough range of views for me to realise at least that like women, men are different in their attitudes to porn and why they like it or don't like it. It would be nice of ms anonymous would realise that instead of trying to deafen us with her anger and rage. Another thing I notice is that women are so interested in the whole issue that they can't stay away, even when the poster has asked for the views of men only.... LOL....
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female
reader, bammy  +, writes (18 June 2008):
 I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with any one watchin porn neither male or female, My fiance & I watch it together & sometimes when hes at work I watch it alone & he watches it alone when I'm not about so I don't see a problem with it as long as we are not cheating or hiding things as trust is very impotant in any relationship. However If women are feeling negleted due to the fact that their blokes are watching too much porn then there has to be communication between both partners to work out a solution.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): “GROW UP, PORN USING MEN...your women are disgusted and you are quickly losing the their respect....if you want to be a PORN PIG them resign yourself to a life alone or with women with no self esteem who dont think they deserve any better”
Female anon, you are obviously the one with low self-esteem. Actually, you don’t appear to have any self-esteem at all. All you can show is anger. All you can show is hatred. My wife has wondered, through all of your rants over the months, what it was that made you hate men so much. What was it in your life that has turned you into such a belligerent and hateful person? Did a man or men do things to hurt you so badly? Did someone degrade you so badly that you have no self-confidence left in you? If so, then I feel very sorry for you and hope that you might be able to get help with your problem. You are so angry that you can’t even type straight. I can’t even imagine you being able to talk about this.
As to your assertion that the women who allow this are just women “with no self esteem who dont think they deserve any better”, my wife has more self-esteem than you appear that you will ever be able to have. Most of the women who I have known have more self-esteem than what you show. Those that didn’t at one time worked to get what they lacked. The same goes for me and other men who I know. You would do yourself well to work to build yours. I’m sure that all of the women on here who either share in porn watching or understand why their men do it will appreciate you telling them that they are losers. Look in the mirror.
As to your assertion that men would “soon have something to say and believe me , it wouldn't be 'oh I understand'” if their wives looked at well hung men and masturbated, well, my wife looks at attractive men. If some actor on TV is attractive to her, she asks me to look up information on him, like age, is he married and so forth. I look up the info for her and we tease each other about our fantasies. We have fun with it. We enjoy each other and we enjoy each other’s fantasies.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): See? That's just it!
To the last female answerer, you yourself just gave a perfect example of why you're wrong!
If women started lusting over 20yo well-hung male studs, I think a lot of women would be surprised how much more accepting their men would be about it!
I'm not saying men would ALL love it, but a decent percent of men would. And and a lot more would at least say they totally understand it and won't complain or anything.
The number of men who totally flipped out about it would be a hell of a lot smaller than most women probably expect.
This is the crux of it all. Most men AREN'T just giving bullshit excuses when they defend their liking porn. Most men really DO just view & react to it differently than most women do.
But I know it's much easier to hate men than to try to understand that they sometimes just think very differently than women do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): why the hell should women show 'understanding' for men being disrespectful to all females...bloody typical male response (teenage male).....if women started lusting after 20year old well hung studs and masturbating over them, their husbands would soon have something to say and believe me , it wouldn't be 'oh I understand'..GROW UP, PORN USING MEN...your women are disgusted and you are quickly losing the their respect....if you want to be a PORN PIG them resign yourself to a life alone or with women with no self esteem who dont think they deserve any better....
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): I guess there's no possible way this issue could possibly just be a gender difference?
Having to accept that would mean that women would need to show a little respect & understanding for it.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008): Someone made a great point early about men always looking at the 20 year old blonde bimbo. And yes, that's all men look at most of the time.The thing people always say that is ridiculous is that men are visual creatures. People always just say this and assume it, but never have anything to back it up. How are men so much more visual than women? Women gawk at men just as much as men gawk at women. In today's society it is OK for men to be pigs, OK for men to look at women, OK for women to accept it, etc etc.I loved the story about the married man waking up, being horny, having to go back to sleep, then having to look at porn to get horny again to have sex with his wife. What were you thinking about while you actually did it? Ridiculous.Why don't you guys film yourselves having sex with your partners then watch that instead of porn? Or does that not turn you on enough.The problem is socialization. As long as men are supposed to be pigs and women are supposed to be objects, this will keep happening.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008): It is total disrepect for a partner to watch porn or feel the need to get off on another person. Porn is actual ppl, who have no respect for themselves or for any one else.
There is no comparison to the Titanic and porn. The Titanic movie was created to help generations remember the ppl who lost their lives it actually has a purpose not like porn. Porn has no purpose it is just another mistake man has made. their is no double standards goin on here so far all i ve red is that men do it for a bit relief if there parnter doesnt want sex. how bout doing something a bit more constructive with your time like spoiling your wife or partner doing somthing nice for them or read a book or somthing why do men always have to refer to porn for something to do.
an the so called "eye candy" that is crap if your unhappy and feel the need to look at "eye candy" geeze find a new partner someone who your actually in love with and dont feel the need to look at "eye candy".
that one person should be special enough to be your one and only "eye candy" or fantasy.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2008): I am female anon and nobody is saying that we cant find people other than our spouses attractive...simply that I like most women SAVE my feeings of sexual pleasure at the sight of a naked mans body FOR MY HUSBAND ONLY...anyone who finds this too hard should simply not be married
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (16 June 2008):
 To the female anon poster....men get pleasure from seeing women whether they are dressed or not. I'm talking about women they are not married to. Pleasure is a broad word though. If I see a very attractive woman and I find her beauty pleasing, it creates pleasure for my thought process. It does not mean I feel any less toward my wife. With my wife, I have beauty and a relationship. Eye candy is just that...a passing bit of pleasure. If you say you could never be attracted to anybody but your partner, you are not telling the truth. You can not determine who you find attractive. It just happens.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2008): unbelievable that people (mostly men) respond that its no big deal...what a load of rubbish....
If a woman shares her body with a man this is a very special thing and he should have the respect to ensure it is the only female body he gets the pleasure of looking at...if he doesn't do that it sends her a very simple message...ie your body is just one of many female bodies that turn me on .....doesn't exactly make her feel special does it...
besides the rubbish that they try to feed us abou it not meaning they find us less attractive....what a load.....if it was the real bodies of their wives and mothers of their children that they find so beautiful surely this is the body type they would desire to look at in porn...but funnily enough its usually the 20yr old blonde bimbo thats obviously never had babies or aged...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2008): Porn is kinda crude hormonal candy for the eyes. Men were just built with a much bigger sweet tooth for visual images. And varieties of them.
I think the majority of women don't need to lose sleep over it if it doesn't seem to be affecting their sex life. But there are a percentage of men who end up getting compulsively addicted to porn like it was gambling or something. This IS a MAJOR problem if it gets out of hand. Just like any other compulsion. It's bad and it's serious.
But all women out there, please realize this: Your man is just watching something. He didn't write it or act it himself.
Haven't you ever watched stupid or cheesy or bad stuff on television? Would you want your spouse to assume that you like, belive, trust, and support everything that any of the characters on your favorite shows ever say or do?
A lot of porno can be pretty degrading to women but that doesn't mean the men watching ALL want it that way all the time. The porno industry attracts a lot of trashy messed up people.
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male
reader, eddie +, writes (14 June 2008):
To Diovan Lestat....my views on porn are very basic. I don't buy it or go out of my way to get it. If I came across a picture or some type of pornographic material, I'd probably look. I have seen some porn movies as have most people. It's really no big deal. I don't thrive on it but it doesn't repulse me either.
I wouldn't date a porn star nor would I want my daughter to do it. That doesn't make me a hypocrite either. I also wouldn't date a drug dealer nor would I want my daughter to be one.
On a basic level, it is raw sex. There is something to be said for that. It seems that many men are drawn to that. For what ever reason, it's true. Another aunt said if a guy looks at other women it probably means there is something wrong at home. That is not true. We can not help what we see. Our eyes feed our brain images and if there is an attraction, we look. If a guy is casual and non threatening, what is the harm? We are geared to be attracted to others. We can't help what we feel. What we do with the feelings is what is important.
When anything is taken to an extreme there can be harm. This includes porn. It also includes thousands of other things. Some things are not as harmful or have such a stigma attached to them but they can be harmful. Many people in porn participate because they choose to. They may have demons that haunt them but it is a choice. Some do it because they've been abused and may have low self esteem. Some may work at lousy jobs because they have low self esteem. There are twists and complications all over the place.
I don't think it's the best choice for making a living. Most people would eventually regret it. But it still exists. There is a demand and there always will be. Are women taken advantage of? Some are. Men are also taken advantage of because they slaves to it. For every reason there is for a woman to make porn, there is a reason why a guy buys it.
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male
reader, Uncle Sneaker  +, writes (14 June 2008):
 No, women don't need to be jealous, or worried, or scared, or concerned.
Would you be concerned that because your man watches war movies he's going to rush off to become a soldier?
Would you be concerned that because your man watches crime movies he's going to become a criminal? (or a detective?!)
Sex is, of course, a powerful force. Porn is, of course, a small risk for some people because a very few do become addicted to the extent that it becomes a substitute for the reality of sex with their partner. So, perhaps, a different analogy is needed to that of watching of other types of movies. Put it this way: the normal person isn't concerned that their partner will become an alcoholic simply because they go out and have a few beers - but it's something to be aware of, because there is always a very small risk.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2008): OK, Miss Cowgirl, I’m up to your challenge. I’ve answered parts of this in other posts on this subject, but here it is all in one place.
Yes, I watch porn. The amount I watch it varies depending on what the situation is in the lives of my wife and I at the time. When we started dating, we would watch it together after we got to be comfortable with being honest with the other. I would also watch it some on the days I was not with her. Sex with her was great, but we wouldn’t see each other for 3 or 4 days and I used porn to get my relief. When we were together, we would watch it together sometimes. It was sexual excitement for the both of us. We knew that the things that the actors did were not realistic or comfortable, so we didn’t try most of those things. It just got us really turned on. We would start the foreplay while we were watching.
When we began seeing each other almost every day and then started living together and then got married, we would watch it together at times, but I didn’t watch it myself because I had all of the sexual satisfaction that I wanted with her. After 8 or 10 years, we both had stressful jobs that required overtime and we were stressed and tired after work. She didn’t want sex and I had little energy for the long lovemaking sessions that we both enjoyed so much for so many years. I used porn for quick sexual relief. She was happy with that situation and so was I. Neither of us liked that nearly as much as we liked the lovemaking that we had before, but it was an acceptable substitute for both of us. We still had sex, but much less frequent, mainly on the weekend and while on vacation. Then we would either watch porn together or not at all.
Now that we are both retired we have sex several times a week. It is rare for either of us to watch porn now, but I sometimes use it to get turned on in some situations. Sometimes I get wide awake at 5 am, horny as a horny toad, but she wants to sleep for 2 more hours. I get up and do something so that I do not just toss and turn or try to cuddle and keep her awake. Whatever I do during that time takes my mind off of sex, so before returning to bed at 7 or 8, I sometimes watch porn for 15 to 30 minutes to get aroused again. She is ready and I am ready and we start a great lovemaking session without delay.
We are both comfortable with it and neither of us see any problem with it and never have. She never watched porn before dating me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2008): Dear Miss anonymous,
I wish you (or the moderators) had asked the question differently so we could get some real truthfull answers out of the guys who use this site.
"Are you a man who likes to look at porn, if you do, what satisfaction does it give you, and how often do you do it?"
Or "Are you a man who has never looked at porn, if so why dose it repulse you and turn you off."
The way this question is worded turns this into an intellectual exercises and allows guys to weasle their way out of being truthfull about the true levels and interest in porn. Come on guys, what about it, dare you to put yourself on the line (anonymously if need be) and tell us what you really think about the whole issue personally.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2008): I’ll keep this short and sweet instead of the long answers that I normally give on this and other subjects.
Get some self-esteem. If the man watches porn hours a day or neglects his partner for the sake of porn then he has a real problem and needs help. If it is occasional or he uses it when his partner is not in the mood for sex, then what is the problem. He doesn’t wish that he was with them instead of you. It is visual stimulation. Most men need it. Get some self-confidence and accept his occasional watching of porn if it does not detract from your sex life with him.
Titanic = trash ??????????????
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male
reader, eddie +, writes (14 June 2008):
If you think Brad Pitt is really, really handsome, does that mean you find your husband ugly? See my point?
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (14 June 2008):
 When I started on this site I tended to defend porn, see it as the male equivalent of watching trash like Titanic.
But having read a lot of posts about the subject some men seem to have trouble with moderation.
A little bit of porn is really no different then a woman who watches a romantic movie or reads one of those harlequin "novels". A bit of fantasy, outside stimulation, adventure without risk of STD's. Harmless more or less.
Answer me why women love Titanic and you have the answer why men watch porn.
If it happens in moderation it is harmless.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2008): Most people would agree that porn is a healthy and normal thing for men (and women) to be interested in, whether they are in a relationship or not. Some women mind this, others don't care at all, and some enjoy watching it with their partner. It all depends on your attitude towards it. I wouldn't necessarily say it's because of disatisfaction with their partner, but in some circumstances this could be the case. For example, if your sex life is non-existant. Porn may then be a substitute. But when the man concerned is in a healthy, good, sexual relationship then it is simply something he enjoys watching. Us women have got to be careful not to look too far into it, as it does cause problems!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2008): Porn is probably part of most healthy relationships and most normal men. Men don't watch porn because they're dissatisfied with their partners. I still watch porn even though I have a girlfriend, and it's not because i'm not happy with her; I am happy... but sometimes your partner doesn't always feel up to having sex, and you certainly can't force your partner, so, what else can you do. You get on the net and squeeze one off, just to let the stress out. The other side of it is that male fantasy just can't be lived out in reality. Or rather, the fantasy of it is better than the reality of it. A guy might watch types or genres of porn that he might never want to partake in, in reality. Porn is an outlet. Fantasies and just better as fantasies and porn is one way to experience it. Truth is men think about sex way more than we'll ever let anybody know. There is not other outlet without being unfaithful. I understand it sometimes makes women feel inadequate; everybody gets older (women, men) but in a video, that hot young nurse will always be a hot young nurse. We know it's not "real", so don't worry about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2008): I can't speak for everyone but for me I look at porn when my partner doesn't want sex. I would much rather have sex then look at porn but if sex isn't on offer I look at porn. Not at all a reflection on my partner or disinterest or anything like that, just that I need sex or something close to it.
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