A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I screwed up big time. A few months ago I read on some website that girls only like guys who are complete jerks. So I decided to be a jerk to a girl that I liked in hopes that she would start to like me. That was really stupid because now she sees me as just that, a jerk. She ignores me now.How do I get her to see that I'm not a jerk? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2008): If she's ignoring you, thats good. That means she's interested give it time and she will come round.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (11 June 2008):
 To the women, you really should google "dating tips for guys" and similar. Picking up chicks advice and such.
The "be a jerk" advice is pretty common. It is sort of true but sadly women are very good at picking out fakers and don't want any of that. Only true jerks, not some average guy pretending.
Me bitter? Why do you ask?
To the guy, talk to her and explain what happened but be prepared to be scorned even more. Frankly you screwed up. The advice "be yourself" isn't just being nice, it is also given because it is so very hard NOT to be yourself. After all, if you really were a jerk you would not give a damn and just move on to the next target.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (9 June 2008):
 Be your normal self or better still refined your mannerism and
she will notice that you have reformed and changed for the better.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2008): You could just say to her honestly something like, "You think I'm a jerk, don't you? I'm sorry, I was trying to impress you but I went about it the wrong way. Will you please start talking to me again? If you don't want to, I completely understand why you don't like me and I'll leave you alone from now on." She may still ignore you, but if you're quiet, sad, and stay out of her way when she's around, she may notice and give you another chance.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2008): I'll try that but now she's so fixed on the thought that I'm a jerk she might think I just want something.
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A
female
reader, baymonste  +, writes (8 June 2008):
just go to her and explain the situation and hope she gives you another chance but for now on be yourself
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2008): Simple. Don't be a jerk! If you aren't really a jerk, then just be yourself! Don't go over the top with trying to show her you aren't a jerk because it will seem suspicious to her. Just be nice to her, hold doors open, complement her, smile at her or say hi when you pass in corridors. Keep it like that for a while and she will forget about the jerkiness. Good luck! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2008): Don't believe everything you read in the internet...!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2008): UMMMM...DUHH!Girls don't like jerks.Wherever you got that
site from,it's cheap.Girls don't like that.We want to be
treated with respect.We don't wanna be treated rudely with disrespect.And obviously,that's what that girl saw from u.
Talk to her,say you're sorry,and tell her why you acted that way.And don't ever use that advice again.It's not gonna work.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2008): Yeah you right that was stupid because even if you go out of your way to proof to her that you are not that jerk, she will wonder which is the true person!
I suggest you move on and hopefully you have learnt from this mistake!
Good luck in the future!
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A
male
reader, OhLawdWhat DoIDo +, writes (8 June 2008):
 Wow im surprised that didnt work out! I say keep trying! All girls are idiots who wish to be treated like crap and you would be silly not to follow the brilliant advice you find on the internet. Try spitting in her face a few times until she changes her mind.
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A
female
reader, x..BabyGirl..x +, writes (8 June 2008):
 Tell her what you read and laugh about it with her. I'm not sure what they meant in 'jerk' but most women are suckers for the 'bad boy' types, and some, like myself, find arrogance highly attractive, obviously she doesn't.
Tell her what you read and sincerely apologize to her and give her some flowers and some chocolates maybe. Explain that you'd never normally act like that and just begin to act yourself around her, she'll soon see that you're not at all like your past alter ego!
Good luck x
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