A
female
age
30-35,
jenfurr
writes: Once apon a time, everything was simple and the courting girls and boys of the world fell in love, married and grew gracefully old together. The modern day differs from this and its harder to find "mr right". Day by day, we go through the cheats, the lyers, the love rats and more of the cheats. So what do we do when faced with a cheat? Do we walk out the door? Do we say goodbye? In theory, we all would say yes. In this rational state of mind we would all save our dignity and rise above it with our self respect - but common, nothing's that simple. I know a friend, and she's one of the most respectable girls I have ever known. She has a good head on her shoulders and that's right, you guessed it - is in "love" with a cheat. Her boyfriend and her have been together for nearly a year despite the fact that he has cheated on her relentlessly and that she doesn't give him "enough sex". She knows about these girls and it gets her down but unbelievably, she lets it go. What drives a self respecting woman settle for someone who treats them like rubbish? I suppose love is the answer. Love changes the equation and emotion messes with human logic. It is our compassion that seperates us from robots and that is why the simple cheating = door doesn't work when we're in love. I debate that this is right though. Instead of staying for love, could it not be fear of lonelyness? Fear that no one will love us, or that THIS man, cheat, lier that he is, might just be the mr right in disguise? We hear the question, "will anyone love me as much as him?" We play it safe and really, whether we're aware of it or not, by staying with someone who might not diserve us, we prolong our meeting with prince charming.
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female
reader, kelly888  +, writes (14 June 2008):
be a good friend to her and dont judge!
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (14 June 2008):
 I think you meant "delay" instead of prolong.
There are lots of reasons people stay with the wrong person.
Fear of being alone.
Thinking they can cure the other.
The good bits outweigh the bad bits.
But I think you make on fatal flaw at the end. "by staying with someone who might not diserve us"
Does it not matter more that YOU (oh okay lets pretent, your 'friend') deserve(s) better?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2008): Good article, however when your in love it's not possible to listen to good advice and do the right thing. It's only after she/he's left you, hurt you badly that you realise the answer and move on. Wish we could be more rational, but that's why they call iy "love sick" and "heartache" I guess. It's official, love is a disease that can really drive you mad.
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A
female
reader, mum and 1 +, writes (14 June 2008):
to stay with a cheat is up to your friend you have to learn that while you can help your friend and offer advice you cannot live her life for her. what is acceptable for her is not to others. just be there for her without judgement when it all comes crashing down..which it probaly will and shell need you to be there to relay on!! be a good friend to her and dont judge!
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