A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My current bf smokes pot three times a day,but he seems like a nice guy, my ex wants me back (he does not smoke weed),do you think smokimg pot affects a future marriage or that is ok?Help
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2012): Take it from a spouse that is married to a weed smoker. There always nice as long as you let them smoke their weed. If you a non weed smoker, be prepared that this will be his way of life and as long as you can be #2 to weed ! you'll have a good life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2010): I believe any addiction can affect a relationship. Addiction is the lack of self, there is something they are lacking in themselves to where they need to feel fulfilled therefore use a substance to alter their weakness into someone they are not. This is usually common in teens as they are finding their identity, however once they have become an adult the chances of healing their addiction is very slim. Yes, the priority in their life is their addiction. It changes their true being and their potential to do more and progress within themselves. I've been with a pothead off and on for many years. I will tell you, they won't quit because its their happiness. If he does, it may take him therapy to discover the cause of his desire to alter is state of mind. Why is he hiding or masking his gaps? Being with a person like this is painful cause they don't see how their personality changes on that stuff. Then next you will find out they secretly smoke it without you knowing. Ide say, its only you who can decide to continue. Also, I've learned a ton about myself for attracting this in my life. They tend to open our empty gaps in ways I can't explain. Good luck girl!
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reader, penelopeb  +, writes (22 February 2010):
I believe any addiction can affect a relationship. Addiction is the lack of self, there is something they are lacking in themselves to where they need to feel fulfilled therefore use a substance to alter their weakness into someone they are not. This is usually common in teens as they are finding their identity, however once they have become an adult the chances of healing their addiction is very slim. Yes, the priority in their life is their addiction. It changes their true being and their potential to do more and progress within themselves. I've been with a pothead off and on for many years. I will tell you, they won't quit because its their happiness. If he does, it may take him therapy to discover the cause of his desire to alter is state of mind. Why is he hiding or masking his gaps? Being with a person like this is painful cause they don't see how their personality changes on that stuff. Then next you will find out they secretly smoke it without you knowing. Ide say, its only you who can decide to continue. Also, I've learned a ton about myself for attracting this in my life. They tend to open our empty gaps in ways I can't explain. Good luck girl!
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female
reader, blnddizzles +, writes (4 December 2008):
hunny let me tell u. ive been in a relationship with a huge po smoker for three years and its verry hard. it doezs cause problems if u arent asmoker yourself. because heavy pot smokers first priority is pot. they will tell u different. its not true. i was 17 my parents sent me to live with my aunt and i was not aloud to have anyform of communication... with anyone for 6 months because my parents hate my bf sooo much because of his pot. he loves me i know he does but evry time i called him he would be too bussy smokin and gettin high to talk to his gf whom have up everything for him.... even her family. and pot was always still his first priorety and i was second... but waaayyyy second. and that feeling hurts worse than anything. when u date someone with an addiction it doesnt matter how much they love u... the addiction will always come first. i never thought it was true but... he recently got in trouble and is now possibly going to be in jail for it... and it is the hardest thing for me to watch him go threw it. and now that hee has been clean for 4 months he has treated me sooo much better. 900000000 times better. and yes i belive that because he was so stoned he didnt know how he was treating me and not appreciating me because he was always foccused on pot. and now im just hoping he wont go backkk..... let me tell u i didnt realize how bad it was untill it stopped, if that makes cince. if u are a girl that can take a back seet and doesnt want attention and affection and effort from ur man pothead is the way to go... if not, dont do it before u fall in love with him like i did and its the most painful experience of my life... and last night was the first time i told him.... if he went back to it i would leave him because i deserve to be loved properly when i have given up everything i had for him... he needs to give up this one thing for me... and hes doing it... he even told me last night at the time he was smoking he didnt see me as a top priorety. it was weed weed and weed. and now i am #1 and i would never go back to the way it was, i would leave him in a min if it sdtarted again as much as i love him and it took me a long time to reilize it and i would never never never date another pot smoker
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reader, bad_mofo  +, writes (20 August 2008):
from my point of view being in a relationship with a weed smoker(pothead) isn't a good thing because they've mood swing, paranoia , they cant stop smoking ( its like a cigarette) its becoming a part of there life and a bad habit. secondly someone who smoke that often isn't for the fun of it anymore, they do it because they just can't look at reality the whey it is. i presume that all his friend are pot head too?!?! anyway , just do what you think is the best for you! but look at the pro's and con'sand everything i'ved just said is true because i was a heavy weed smoker in the past and today i see it as a weakness, i was like a alcoholic but instead of alcohol it was weed.
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reader, XxAnGelXxx  +, writes (15 July 2008):
 Personally i dont think smokin weed affects relationships, i mean, im gonna admit that i do smoke it, my boyfriend smokes it, my friends smoke it. The only way where iv seen it affect a relationship is when it comes down to money. I dont think that your fella has any kinda problem with it if he smokes it 3 times a day, i know people who have a joint every 10 minutes!
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reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (12 June 2008):
 Am I right in thinking that you feel there NEITHER of these two guys is "Mr Right" but that because you feel you are running out of time one of these will just have to do?
Settling is a bad thing and going into a relationship with an attitude "this is the best I could get" might mean you are sabotaging it from the start.
Say after a couple of years with either guy you realize that the age/pot is to big an issue after all. Well then you clock will have REALLY started to tick. If you can't afford to waste time (your own words) then you shouldn't waste it on anyone but the right guy. And any guy you have to ask total strangers about is NOT the right guy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe neve changes his way of being towards me, just gets a little bit stupid, pays no attention and is quiet. I am really worried because I d not want to waste my time anymore. I did with my ex, now I need a normal relationship, that is why I am tempted to go back to my ex, he is older than me, but he does not smoke. which is worst??? being a pothead or that he coud be my father?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): Your ex wants you back. If you are still considering, then probably you are not totally committed to either guy and thus should stay alone untill the right guy comes along.
I have no problem with marijana, but three times a day, is something I would class as excessive use. As long as it dosen't effect his behaviour and he is still able to hold down a job and a relationship, then there is nothing wrong. It is not addictive and the only problems that occur are the same as ciggarettes. If he has any mental issues, there may be an increased chance of scisophrenia (spelling? - sorry) and paronia, but this is rare.
However, any illegal drug is expensive, and he will be spending money on this rather than your relationship. Can he give up for a little while, just to prove to you and himself that he is not in control to the drug.
But as I say, as long as your looking at other guys, and considering them, you have bigger problems in your relationship than a little "pot smoking" and should think deeply and carefully about what you want out of life.
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reader, asian tealeaf +, writes (12 June 2008):
 pot is a natural herb used for yrs by people of all cultures. i know men who were born with attention deficit disorder and marijuana worked better then ritalin, a notorious drug many parents conflict over. while pots illegal, and can have detrimental legal consequences, if u observe ur fiance is a hard working man, who is well tempered and easy going and is not spending more mpney on pot and leaving u and kids high and dry cuz he needs his fix, then go for it! it is different for everyone. observe and then make a calculated decision. its all responsibility, and u need to ask, why does he smoke? for recreational use? for a calming effect, like if hes anxious or have trouble sleeping? sometimes for some it helps to soothe the jitters and helps insomnia. and, it is an herb, natural, although the tar content is very very high. everyone i know who smokes the herb, are hard working people, dedicated to their families. am i a smoker? no. back in the day when i was in my teens, yes, i was a pothead. but as i grew older i personally hated the way it made me feel. it makes me want to sleep. and personally i cannot function normally on the stuff so i stopped a long time ago. i know people toke and work. how they do it i have no idea. but myself? would never dare. good luck.
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reader, sexseahot +, writes (12 June 2008):
 Honestly, it depends on the smoker. Pot IS NOT what makes people undependable. It might make them lazy, it might make them have the munchies, BUT they will be dependable if they want to be. Yes, pot smoking does affect sperm, but it just really depends on the person itself for really any other affects. If he's a good guy and can hold his own, then there shouldn't be a problem with that. It's not like heroine, you don't get addicted and then can't quit....
Hope my info helps. If you need anymore info, you can feel free to e-mail me.
Pot isn't always such a bad thing.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): well my bf smokes pot 3 times aday and to be honest we are having a really rough time always arguing , fighting and its all down to his paranoya and mood swings .. i would advice you to end this realationship before you love this person as it would be so much harder then
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reader, LazyGuy +, writes (11 June 2008):
The effects of marijuana long-term are still being figured out. In my own social circle I notice that those who use(d) it heavily tend to be... well a bit odd. More paranoid, tempers, short attention span. Just not the kind of people you want to depend on too much. Nice enough people, just don't count on them.
Is that caused by the drug use OR is that the type of person to use drugs? You would have to ask a scientist to investigate that.
On the whole, see it the same as alcohol use. A recent dutch news story reported the police checking for drug use in traffic and reporting that 1 joint equals 1.2 alcohol promile. What that means? That 1 joint equals 2-3 drinks. So how bad does that make 3 joints a day? A heavy drinker?
Basically he uses a substance to get him through life. Is that the kind of person you want to count on to raise a family?
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reader, lotsofgiggles123 +, writes (11 June 2008):
 actually i think it does you should probably speak with your bf about that like not smoking cause if you or a freind or bf keep on smoking it soons control your life and whatever you do so yes i think it does have a effect on a future marriage . hope dis helps:).
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2008): I can tell you this:
It might have a very big affect on his sperm and you are running risks should you want to have children with this man!
THINK, carefully!
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