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... Send *azyGuy a private message | | | *azyGuy's profile:I am 37 year old dutch male who used to think he was the mythical "nice guy" but realized that he really was just to lazy to be bad.
Worked a lot of different jobs, going where-ever the money happens to be and traveled a bit. |
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| Latest articles: Men can't read women
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 March 2008: Slashdot is a geek site focussing mostly on tech. Relationship advice is not something you will find there, but this story just has to be mentioned. http://entertainment.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08/03/30/0028211 http://www.livescience.co...
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Would you consider my boyfriend a paedophile because of the age difference?
Q. My boyfriend is about ten years older than me. The thing is, he and his parents are good friends of my mother and father. I've known him my whole life. Would you consider this a violation of trust? Many of my friends have called him a pedoph...
A. 8 August 2009: Strictly speaking, no. Pedophilia is an attraction to prepubescent children. I doubt you qualify.
That however is not how the term is generally used.
There is a rather big age gap. Not just in number of years but more importantly, in ... (read in full...)
I love my husband and would never intentionally hurt him, but I think I'm falling for someone else... what do I do?
Q. I often wonder how I ended up here, I mean right in this moment, pining for someone I can not have, when I have someone so wonderful by my side. I’m married and in over a week, we’ll be sharing our first anniversary, together. I believe in the vows...
A. 8 August 2009: You can dress it up anyway you want, but if you cheat, you are a cheat.
You seem to take the view that we are helpless to our emotions, that we can not help but act if we are in lust, oh sorry, found another soul-mate.
You want your cake and ea... (read in full...)
If he wants sex, I feel used. If he doesn't want sex, I feel rejected!
Q. Question to all: What would make you feel better given that you still love your ex and hopes to get back with, that he/she wants to have sex with you or that he/she no longer wants to have sex with you? Coz I am confused, my ex wanted to have s...
A. 8 August 2009: Yeah I got an insight. You need to look up the word "EX" in a dictionary.
... (read in full...)
I'm 16, my parents want me to marry this much older man (49) and have children with him!
Q. I'm 16, and my parents want me to marry this much older man and have children with him. He's 49, has had 2 heart attacks and has no children, and is very wealthy. They tell me he's very wealthy from working in the business world and runs a lorry...
A. 8 August 2009: Forced marriages are illegal in england. If this is serious and simply putting your foot down is not going to stop it you need to go to the police.
For now, since your grandparents are against it, use them as support.
But if your parents per... (read in full...)
I can't get up the nerve to tell him I want more from our friendship
Q. My childhood friend and I have always had a strange relationship. We called ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend from the time we were 2 until we were 7 and ever since we have always been completly comfortable around eachother , I am normally ...
A. 8 August 2009: Open up but don't rush things. Lets face it, if things didn't develop yet, he might either not be intrested or just not ready. Boys mature less slowly then girls. You suggest to play mommy and daddy, he gets out the dolls.
Maybe the reason y... (read in full...)
I feel men lack a moral compass
Q. I have issues with men and am not really sure what else can be done. I dont like feeling this way and dont hate men but I simply feel that the majority of them lack a moral compass. I look around the world and see rapes and murders daily on the news ...
A. 8 August 2009: A story in belgium/holland. A woman helps 3 violent criminals escape from jail. The men are caught in various parts of the world, having commited various crimes immidiatly after their escape.
The men obviously ain't very moral. Even less so since... (read in full...)
One guy is cruel..the other guy is so kind! Why am I so torn as to which one to choose?
Q. I've been stuck in a serious dilemma between 2 guys. One is the sweetest, kindest and most unselfish man who would do anything for me and would make an unbelievable husband/father. The other is selfish, unmotivated and somewhat cruel at times. ...
A. 8 August 2009: We stand in line for two hours for a 1 minute rollercoaster ride rather then spend those two hours doing a ton of other stuff that althogther produce far more thrills.
Be honest, the "nice" guy is boring while the "bad" guy is a real thrill a... (read in full...)
I finally acted out my fantasy and now I feel sick and disgusted
Q. To cut this as brief as possible,i had always had a fantasy of being gangbanged. I decided to do it with 6 guys. Unfortunately,i feel ill with disgust,the reality is i was lying there and they were just taking turns. I feel violated,it wasnt what i ...
A. 8 August 2009: There is a reason why fantasies should remain fantasies.
You might have imagined half a dozen lovers what you got is... well the kind of guys who well fuck women as a group.
Real life is not the movies. We don't have a stylist standing of came... (read in full...)
My friends accuse me of being with my b/f for his money, not true! How to deal with this?
Q. My boyfriend runs a web hosting company. It's not just online though - he does meet with clients offline (i.e. face-to-face, these are business clients, not members of the public). When I told friends what he does they accused him of being as ...
A. 7 August 2009: Seems like your friends are rather judgemental. Everything is wrong if they are the ones doing it?
Get better friends. The slagging everything off fad is over.... (read in full...)
Triplets at 15!
Q. hey i am 15 and pregnant i have already told my perants and have just had my first scan and found out i am having triplets!! i cannot believe it i have just found out this morning my mum cannot believe it .... i dont know how i am gonna cope mo...
A. 6 August 2009: There are benefits you can apply for, lots of people face sudden extra costs with multiple kids and social nations like the UK have things in place to help out.
Just make sure you arrange as much as possible now. Twins are already a real handful ... (read in full...)
Why does my baby's father treat me like this?
Q. my baby father i been with him since i was 15 and we have two kids and he cheats he calls me names he dont come see the kids he dont care about me i never cheated he make me feel like im not worth it no man will ever want me what should i do do he ...
A. 6 August 2009: Because you let him.... (read in full...)
Should you ever give a controlling boy a second chance?
Q. Should you ever give a controlling boy a second chance? I was with my bf for over 2 years, and just recently I broke it off with him. I love him and that was the hardest thing i've ever done. I miss him, but I had to do it because I was living my ...
A. 6 August 2009: He will do anything for you? Okay, ask him to kill himself. Oh, he won't do that? Then that shows just how little meaning his words have doesn't it? No I am not saying that he should have to kill himself to proof himself but that him saying he will ... (read in full...)
If I fantasize about heterosexual sex and breasts, am I a lesbian?
Q. I'm a 14 year old girl. When I masturbate, I often look at pictures of women. When I fantasize, I always think of a man and a woman having sex. I am neither of these people, nor do I identify with them. Although I usually make the girl about my ...
A. 5 August 2009: Most likely you are just a teen still figuring out what it is all about.
In the real world things ain't as black and white as being either full hetero or full homosexual. Even people who think they are one or the other in reality belong somewher... (read in full...)
Hes already dating but had sex with me last night!
Q. Hi everyone, Last night I slept with a guy that I have liked for only a few days. We had an intense connection and both felt like we had been together forever. The problem is that I found out that he has actually started seeing someone a couple o...
A. 4 August 2009: Why? He will only sleep with another girl a few weeks after he starts dating you and tell her he doesn't want to hurt you.
Eyes, you got them. Open them.... (read in full...)
They chase me and then when they got me they drop me!
Q. I've noticed the same pattern repeating itself with me and guys. It's happened more times than I can count so I think there's something I must be doing to cause it, because not all men can be like this! They'll chase me, obsessively, for whatever ...
A. 4 August 2009: How fast is the turn around? You say they need to chase you for years? Perhaps it is the hunt that intrests them, but once you open up... well something is wrong and might it be that you talk about the future a bit to much?
If you have been cha... (read in full...)
I thought teenage boys were supposed to be very interested in sex; why does my boyfriend not want it anymore?
Q. Ok so my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 10 months but he's not been wanting to have sex as much as he did. Whenever I want it he says not today (but not in an angry way) or 'Lets wait til another day' I dont get it because we'r...
A. 4 August 2009: Wanting sex is not the same thing as wants lots of it. I want a ferrari, but one is enough.... (read in full...)
Why is it ok for guys to pleasure themselves but women are considered dirty?
Q. I was wondering why it is so publicly excepted for guys to pleasure themselves and nobody will think anything of it except that they're just being a guy, but when a girl does she is considered dirty, or a slut. What is the difference between ...
A. 4 August 2009: So, you are basing your opinion about sex on the opinion of teenage boys...
The only reason teenage boys aren;t the dumbest form of life on the planet is because there are teenage girls who believe them.
The only thing they know about sex i... (read in full...)
Why is it ok for guys to pleasure themselves but women are considered dirty?
Q. I was wondering why it is so publicly excepted for guys to pleasure themselves and nobody will think anything of it except that they're just being a guy, but when a girl does she is considered dirty, or a slut. What is the difference between ...
A. 3 August 2009: Eheh. If that is the case, why do drug stores and even a electronic stores have lots of vibrator type toys for sale but no artificial vagina's?
I think you are stuck in the 50's, times have changed.... (read in full...)
I want to get rid of my sex drive!
Q. Here's the thing - I don't want a sex drive. I don't want to get involved in a relationship because they always make me miserable. No way am I doing the casual sex thing. I really do not want a sex drive. how, how, how do I kill it? I'm a ...
A. 3 August 2009: If it causes you this much difficulty, you really should ask a doctor about it. You are already taking medication and the request is not that extreem in itself. But just as there is no viagra for women, there also may not be as easy a sex-drive ... (read in full...)
How much do parents really contribute to their children's adult lives?
Q. My children are all 18 years older,but they are making huge mistakes, like they never learned anything good from us. We tried to teach them good values, but they are clearly not showing any good results, there is drugs and drinking ,trouble with the...
A. 2 August 2009: A lot, but your input might not have been what you think it was.
You know what the saying "do as I say, don't do as I do" means? For instance it is kinda silly to think a child is going to listen to your "alcohol is bad" speech if you guzzle a... (read in full...)
How can I help my friend who's using weed as an escape?
Q. please someone help me. my best friend is depressed and he is mentally addicted to weed. he explains to me that its the only way he can escape. he knows its stupid and he knows its ruining his life. hes 17. and i just know that its a cry for help...
A. 2 August 2009: Weed and anti-depressant medicine works against each other.
The addictive factor in drugs is that the body starts to compensate for them. As you get a euphoric feeling from weed, your body will release less of its own euphoric hormones because ... (read in full...)
I've been avoiding sex because I'm afraid of being compared to her other 30 partner!
Q. I have a girlfriend and we have been official for just over a month now. I've known her for 3 years prior to getting involved with her. She is a lovely person, and I'm so glad we are together, but she recently confided in me that she has slept with ...
A. 1 August 2009: If the others were so good, she would have stayed with them. She didn't.
Tell me, who is the better man. A girls first or a womans last.... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my long lost brother
Q. Im an 18 year old girl and im in love with my brother.. we grew up together until i was five.. we were separated for 13 years. hes 22 nn were imtimate, we dont use condoms we use withdrawl. i htink he knows that i like him,, but he doesnt say ...
A. 1 August 2009: Well no, the risk of deformity is tiny and there are far greater risk factors like smoking and drinking.
For that matter, if you think that a risk should be avoided then you should basically also allow society determine who could reproduc... (read in full...)
Jealous over walpaper?
Q. i came home from college today. i asked my mom to drop me off mu boyfriends house. he was excited to see me as i was to sew him. when we did see each other, we hugged and what not. not soon after, he found my cellphone wallpaper was of zac efron. i ...
A. 1 August 2009: So, how would you have felt if HE had a female star as his wallpaper?
For that matter, the eternal classic female complaint, if h watched porn?
... (read in full...)
When do vaginal openings start to exist?
Q. I am the mother of a 5 year old girl. Anatomists or doctors please clarify my following doubt. Do vigial opening exist in girls at the time of their birth or it opens/appears only at the time of first menstration. If such an opening is not there, ...
A. 1 August 2009: In the womb.
However, the vagina can close up in babies. You have to clean baby girls in a certain way. Take her to a doctor and have things checked out.
... (read in full...)
Marriage without a wedding or rings? This isn't how I imagined it...and how do I tell my family?
Q. As most women do I have always dreamt of a nice engagement and wedding once I found the man of my dreams. I never cared about the price of the ring or how elaborate the wedding would be I just expected to have something special and memorable. Now, ...
A. 1 August 2009: So why?
It is often said that weddings are for the women and men just try to endure it to the wedding night. But really, that is a load of bull. Men can't say they also take some enjoyment from the whole thing. Since I am a man I can't say it (... (read in full...)
When I am with a woman I care about, why do I let their sexual history bother me?
Q. I don't think I'm alone, but why is it sex to me often seems like the great equalizer? I've been with women who have long and varied sexual histories and it's never bothered me. But on the few occasions when I was with a woman who I cared about, ...
A. 1 August 2009: Because you are insecure. You would prefer a virgin because then you wouldn't have to compete with all the other guys. But since virgins are rare, the next best thing is a girl with less experience because then at least she won't be better at being ... (read in full...)
I've done everything so why does my husband keep cheating?
Q. i have been with my husband 23 years and married for 18 years, in the past ten years he has had three affairs and he has always come back to me, but this last one has really got to me. he has been staying at his mums as she has mental health issu...
A. 31 July 2009: You haven't done everything. You haven't dumped him.
Basically you are asking. Why is this guy that keeps braking the law, who keeps being supported by society and never ever has to face the consequences of his action, not changing?
Why sho... (read in full...)
Did my girlfiend cheat, or was she raped?
Q. I feel so silly for even asking this on the Internet, but I just need to get some opinions. First of all, I'm 18, and this is my first girlfriend. She is 15. We've been dating for 10 months now. In the 2nd month of dating, we broke up for 2 days, ...
A. 31 July 2009: If she was raped, why did she keep going out with him?
She could have been sexually assaulted the first time, but whatever exactly happened, she dated him as near as I can make out TWO more times. While she was still in contact with you.
... (read in full...)
Is being a 'Nice Guy' a bad thing?
Q. Girls keep calling me a nice guy. Is this a bad thing? Something definitely isn't working because I've never had a real relationship. I never really get close with girls, or talk to them like close friends. I'm "friends" with a lot of girls, but ...
A. 30 July 2009: Always hard to say if the nice guy claim is genuine, but remember, a girl that claims to want a nice guy but who dates jerk, ain't a nice girl.
If a woman wants to be treated badly, then why would you want to date her? Find someone who is looking ... (read in full...)
Does Plan B work?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 3 months and having sex for 2. He sometimes asks me if he can just pull out but I've always been too afraid to risk it (because I'm not on any other type of birth control) so we always used a condom. ...
A. 30 July 2009: Remember girls a guy can ALWAYS safely pull out.
It is the girl that gets pregnant.
Biology, you should study it.... (read in full...)
Does less foreplay equal better orgasms?
Q. My wife and I a wonderful relationship. She normally reached orgasm very quickly. She says that if we have too much foreplay, she loses the ability to have an orgasm or her orgasm is not very intense even with a vibrator. Is this common? I always ...
A. 29 July 2009: Who would know better, your wife or another woman?... (read in full...)
My mum doesn't think that we make a good couple!
Q. So I was talking to my mum eariler and I asked if she thought me and my boyfriend made a good couple, just for something to say....and she looked abit shifty, and said no, not really. I was kind of shocked - we've been going out for about 10 month...
A. 29 July 2009: Some mothers think they know what is best for their daughters.
Sometimes they are right, sometimes they are wrong.
It don't matter because the daughter never listens anyway.
My aunt and uncle lived almost apart, he was an international tru... (read in full...)
What are the signs of emotional abuse?
Q. This isn't a relationship question, but I wonder, what are the signs of emotional abuse? I have researched them myself, but I am thinking about a particular situation that I had to deal with at work yesterday. This woman and her son came to my ...
A. 29 July 2009: Doubtfull. You probably saw a kid throwing a temper tantrum and a mother who had to deal with it by not spoiling the kid in the long term.
A couple of months ago I saw the BAD result of allowing a kid to go into a tantrum. A small girl was just... (read in full...)
Why do angel boyfriends turn out to be monster exes?
Q. Question to all males: My boyfriend always tells me that he has never met any female who has the kindest, most white heart he has known as me. (I am the only woman he seriously dated) I was always understanding to him, never calls him names, even ...
A. 29 July 2009: Why does an angel owe you money?
Perhaps he was merely a wolf in sheeps clothing?
Lets be blunt, in the relationship you gave him money and sex.
Out of the relationship, you want money from him and no sex.
So. Is it even remotely possi... (read in full...)
My sister's been very disrespectful and I resent my mother for her reaction!
Q. I dont even know where to start.....I'am worried that i might be heading for unhapinness for ever. ok so this is the deal. I am 22 with alot on my shoulders, not because i have to but because i choose to. i have 2 jobs. so this sat i came home very ...
A. 27 July 2009: And this is why kids leave their parents, to create their own life.
... (read in full...)
He won't see his daughter when shes menstruates!
Q. Hi there, I have been divorced for some years now and since my daughter started her period, her Dad has refused to see her the weekends she menstruates. I was wondering if any Father's or other Mother's have had the same experience so so...
A. 27 July 2009: Well, you married him.
He needs his head checked. Is this phobia with menstruation a recent development?
This guy is messed up. Do you know that north korean flag? Well the one that should be going up in your mind is even bigger and redde... (read in full...)
I cry when I have sex with my husband
Q. I love my husband. He's a good man who looks after me and treats me like a princess. The problem is really odd. We rarely have sex and whenever we do I find myself crying. It's the weirdest thing and I'm scared he'll notice. It doesn't hurt, he ...
A. 26 July 2009: There are no feelings of sadness or fear?
If you are enjoying the sex but still cry then it might be like tears of happiness. Our brain is not nearly as well designed as we like to think and sometimes the wires get a bit crossed.
... (read in full...)
Do men get put off a girl who is too open?
Q. guys - do you get turned off when a girl is too open? ...
A. 26 July 2009: On the whole, yes.
Keep the mysterie alive. I do NOT need to find out about your yeast infection, your mothers problems with alcohol and your boss mistress on the first date.
As for deep and meaningful. then you need to find a guy who likes th... (read in full...)
I'm 15, he's 19, I have alot of insecurities & don't know how to approach our issues
Q. Right, this is a long one, so I apologise for it! The usual thing of "my boyfriend isn't really affectionate." but I'm actually willing to offer myself some answers for it, and see if anyone can help me out on them. I know his ex, he was wit...
A. 26 July 2009: Then don't. You seem to be a in mess. Understandable but how many issues do you think you can handle at once?
Lets see, you are an abuse survivor. You are a teen girl. You have a much older boyfriend (the difference between 15 and 19 is huge). Y... (read in full...)
We broke up, I told him I needed space, but now I want him back, how do I know how he feels?
Q. Hi, I broke up with my bf a few months ago. We stayed friends in the interim. I just sent him a "would you consider getting back together" letter. I told him to take his time to think about it. I think I was so subtle in the letter that I never ...
A. 26 July 2009: 4 pages, you do realize that you were writing to a guy? A telegram would be considered to wordy.
Anyway, you first push him away, even to the point of telling him to stop communicating and then want him back.
How would you react if the sam... (read in full...)
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