A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I broke up with my bf a few months ago. We stayed friends in the interim. I just sent him a "would you consider getting back together" letter. I told him to take his time to think about it. I think I was so subtle in the letter that I never actually asked the question. Just eluded to it.Thing is, just before sending the letter I told him I think we need to cut ties. That I can not get on with my life as long as he is in it. We agreed to stop communicating.My question - It's been 5 days since I sent the letter. He's a good guy. He is. He will get back to me, right? Anyone who receives a 4 page letter gets back to the person, right? I'm just afraid he's not replying bc I told him we need to stop communicating. He will realize this is an exception and I'm sitting here waiting for his answer, right?bottom line - this silence probably means he's taking his time thinking and not just ignoring me for my own good, right?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2009): You decided to break ties. He's respecting you. Give him some time to process the letter, but do NOT send another unless it reads "I am OK with our break up and agree its the best thing for both of us. I hope one day we can be friends."
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks but I don't think I can call him after sending that letter. If it is time he's taking, I want to respect that and not start calling him on top of sending an extremely long letter.
I can't meet with him. This is a long distance relationship. temporarily, anyway. he's been away for 3 months. I told him on his visit him I couldnt take the friend thing anymore. He'll be back in 2 more months. (I know for a fact there is no one else.)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the replies...
To clarify - the letter was all about how great things have been in the past few months and now that we're great as friends again, let's step it up and see if we can be great as a relationship again. There was no venting, anger or hurt feelings. The letter was 100% positive. well, it also talked about learning from our mistakes which I think we did.
and I'm not toying with him. I told him I couldn't be JUST friends bc it's killing me. I said we needed to cut ties until I could get over him and then maybe I could be friends with him.
I didn't reject him or push him away. I just said I couldn't be just friends.
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A
female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (26 July 2009):
 I feel sorry for your ex...What mixed signals and a total head f***!! Why are you toying with him like this?
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (26 July 2009):
 I think that he is holding up his end of the bargain. Just because you regret agreeing to stop talking doesn't mean he does too. Depending on how subtle you were, he might see it as a "no hard feelings" letter.
Next time try being direct and honest.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (26 July 2009):
 4 pages, you do realize that you were writing to a guy? A telegram would be considered to wordy.
Anyway, you first push him away, even to the point of telling him to stop communicating and then want him back.
How would you react if the same happend to you? Most people don't like to be rejected.
If he has received the letter and is not on a holiday then a 5 day waiting period is definitly to long. If he is hurt but still intrested he might be punishing you, but I think you got your answer.
Mind you, it all depends on wether he got the question. If you were subtle he might never have understood there was a question to be answered. 4 pages and he might well have dozed off and still be trying to get to the end.
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