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... Send *azyGuy a private message | | | *azyGuy's profile:I am 37 year old dutch male who used to think he was the mythical "nice guy" but realized that he really was just to lazy to be bad.
Worked a lot of different jobs, going where-ever the money happens to be and traveled a bit. |
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| Latest articles: Men can't read women
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 March 2008: Slashdot is a geek site focussing mostly on tech. Relationship advice is not something you will find there, but this story just has to be mentioned. http://entertainment.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08/03/30/0028211 http://www.livescience.co...
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Always the "friend with benefits", never the girlfriend
Q. Hey all, So here's my problem. I keep getting involved with these really great guys. Problem is I always end up as the "friend with benefits". Now it's not that I don't respect myself or anything, but I always tend to get involved with them at the...
A. 18 October 2009: In FWB the benefits stand for sex. ... (read in full...)
What makes a man want to commit to a woman?
Q. What makes a man want to commit/be exclusive to a woman?...
A. 17 October 2009: Well, a typical reason for being committed is clinical insanity. She got to have something that sets her apart from all other women. Something that makes you go, "she is the one". What that is, that is personal for each guy. I don't think m... (read in full...)
Always the "friend with benefits", never the girlfriend
Q. Hey all, So here's my problem. I keep getting involved with these really great guys. Problem is I always end up as the "friend with benefits". Now it's not that I don't respect myself or anything, but I always tend to get involved with them at the...
A. 17 October 2009: Great guys who just happen to use you for nothing but sex. Come back when you are ready to face reality.... (read in full...)
Once an abuser, always an abuser??
Q. My ex bf abused me and now he wants me back. He promises hes changed and so on. He says he regrets it and would do anything for me. He admits to be an idiot. He says he loves me- something he never told me when we were in a relationship. He says we ...
A. 17 October 2009: Lets say that abusers can change. Fine he might have changed. But a more important question is this: Once a victim, always a victim? "then he will play the same game- nice and sweet at first for a while, just long enough to suck me in" ... (read in full...)
I'm being used by guys for just sex
Q. it seems as though im being used for sex by guys...im tired of it...this guy tells me were making love and i told him i took it seriously...and all he says is his job is very demanding and he's not ignoring me or wanting to hurt my feelings... ...
A. 13 October 2009: Guys?
One thing keeps amazing me about women, why do they think all men are stupid. Don't you think we know that "lets make love" works a lot better then "spread them bitch"?
A guy who wants sex will say what needs to be said, so never go by a... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to want to go out and have fun like my friends do?
Q. hi i have been with my partner since i was 15 im now 18 and have a 1 year old child with him but alot of the time i feel like i dont love him anymore and i look at all my old friends and they are either at collage or university doing what they ...
A. 13 October 2009: 2 years ago you made a choice. If you had asked, everyone would have told you to avoid getting pregnant at all costs and not to get overly committed to a relationship at your age.
But you did get pregnant probably unwilling to accept that one... (read in full...)
What can be done about my incontinence?
Q. hello everyone i want to know to control my urinary bladder. i am unable to control and i urinate in my panties i feel shame even in this age i cannot control. for example i go to parties or anywhere i am unable to stop for long time when i go to ...
A. 11 October 2009: Talk to a doctor, there might be a number of reasons for it. It is not uncommon in women (although a bit rarer in one so young) and for some causes there are simple rememedies.
Remember, medical problems are solved by doctors, not agony aunts. I... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend that his girlfriend kissed me?
Q. I have a good male friend that has a girlfrind that he has been dating for a few months.She is a really cool person,but for the last month or so,i having been getting this flirty vibe from her.At first i thought that i was tripping a little bit ...
A. 11 October 2009: Would you want to know if the situation was reversed? Probably not WANT to know, but you would need to know right?
To be honest, he might think it is hot, how do you think threesomes get started but since you don't want to get involved, you need... (read in full...)
He said "not now" when I asked him if he would get with me.
Q. Okay.. there is a guy I really really like and he sort of likes me back. He said "not now" when i asked him if he would get with me. Then he said to my friend that he doesn't "fancy" me now but he thinks he will "fancy" me in the future which is why ...
A. 11 October 2009: So basically, he is keeping you around as a backup? Charming. That doesn't cool your engines at all?... (read in full...)
Can I learn to accept being alone?
Q. I am so tired of being alone. i am 20 years old and i have never had a boyfriend or done anything with one. i am not an emotional person but lately when i watch chick flicks or see a couple walking by holding hands, i tear up and feel this deep hole ...
A. 11 October 2009: all i want is ONE nice man but it never works out for me. other girls get guys one after another
Read this bit VERY carefully. Because either you are lying or you are not to smart.
You want just ONE nice man.
Your girlfriends get ONE guy ... (read in full...)
Am I being abused?
Q. I recently broke up with my boyfriend. Things in the relationship were fine at first but then he started acting very strange. He started getting very jealous whenever I would hang out with male friends but said that it was because he was afraid of ...
A. 11 October 2009: Abusers often seek to control. One way in which that can be done is by isolating you from your own social circle (another is direct violence or financial dependence).
Why he is doing it, doesn't really matter because they are all to often just exc... (read in full...)
How do I go about asking him out?
Q. Hi, i hope you can help with this situation.My Grandma joined a theatre group recently, she isn't a part of the group now though.When i saw one of the plays she was in, i started to like this guy in the play. We have kept intouch on Facebook. He has ...
A. 10 October 2009: You go to him. You talk to him. Strike up a conversation and try to steer it in a direction of something you both might like to do.
Then you harmlessly suggest that you were thinking of going to do that and would he perhaps like to come along?
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend insults me and punched me in the back!
Q. My boyfriend of almost two years has a huge insecurity about how he compares to other men. I have reassured him (for these two years) that he is the man I want and who I want to be with - oh, and I am 26, he is 30. Last night we were out to...
A. 10 October 2009: Punched you in the back...
Well, I knew the advice right there although I did read the whole story which only confirmed it.
GET OUT. NOW.
Abusers seek control. There may be many reasons for it, sometimes a lack of control in the big world... (read in full...)
Sinuses all screwed up after deep-throating?
Q. I am bi, and I just recently deepthroated a guy one morning. The next morning, when I woke up, my throat was sore, and my sinuses were all screwed up. Now, everything is recovering slowly, but my nose is still running, and my vocal cords are a bit ...
A. 10 October 2009: Or you got a cold. Seems more likely.... (read in full...)
Has anyone else had a similar experience....letting a guy kiss you in a club?
Q. Basically we were all out and bit tipsy. Some guy said "let me kiss you on the check and these girls will make out", naturally I said yes because the girls were nice looking and it's only my cheek. Then he said if he kisses my lips then I can have ...
A. 10 October 2009: It was a sex game. You know we men like to see girls kiss. Well, (some) girls like to see men kiss.
It was basically, "show me yours and I will show you mine".
Since they kept their bargain, you both did exactly the same thing. Says a lot about... (read in full...)
My boyfriend got a girl pregnant?
Q. Hello everyone, I am in desperate need of some advice. I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years now. I am 20 and he is 22. I have to say he is my everything, I am deeply in love with him. Our relationship has always been a good one, except ...
A. 10 October 2009: "Our relationship has always been a good one"
Wake up time. You THOUGHT your relationship had always been a good one. He apparently didn't.
Drunken one night stand results in pregnancy. It happens, but you are a girl yourself, pregnancies don'... (read in full...)
I can't afford protection so are there any other methods of birth control?
Q. My boyfriend wants me to live with him in his car. He hates his father and his mother kicked him out. He asked me to help him clean it out because of all the vodka bottles in the back seat. He chain smokes, so that will take some getting used to. ...
A. 10 October 2009: So... you are thinking about hooking up with a homeless alcoholic who nonetheless has money for cigarettes... and you got no money for the pill.
Your father does not care what you do. That is sad but irrelevant. Don't YOU care what is going to... (read in full...)
How do I get my boyfriend to give me oral sex more often
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together for eleven months and i believe that i give him oral sex more than he does it to me what should i do to get him to do it to me more often...
A. 10 October 2009: 69... (read in full...)
Why would a guy show a girl he likes her and then just disappear?
Q. college started for 3 wks, I haven't seen my crush for the whole summer and since schools started he's been showing more attention to me. He would stare at me try to keep eye contact and I felt him trying to be around me. When we are in the same...
A. 10 October 2009: Eheh... well he is your crush, so why don't YOU make the first move?
Is scary? Well, there is your answer.... (read in full...)
After 2 negative pregnancy tests could I still be pregnant?
Q. Alright so on August 15th, I had unprotected sex, we didnt use the pull out method nor did he ejaculate in me (that either one of us are aware of), I had just come off my period at the time. I am now almost a month late on my period (it will be a ...
A. 10 October 2009: You neither pulled out, nor did he come inside... doesn't leave many options does it?
If you been regular so far and now you aren't, then obviously something is going on.
Home kits are notoriously unreliable. So I am afraid that if you real... (read in full...)
Should I stay because I did wrong and I deserve this?
Q. Hello well i feel really confused and i need some advice. I have been married for 2 years. After a couple of months of marriage i found out my husband met up with another woman in an inappropriate way (he says he didn't sleep with her) after that i ...
A. 9 October 2009: Why are you two married? He is looking at other women, you jump at another man at the first chance and you both seem unable or unwilling to stop. I do notice you say your husband never had sex with someone else, but you don't make that claim for ... (read in full...)
I'm very lazy when it comes to sex
Q. I am 22 and have been with my boyfriend whos 26 for 5 years....the problem is im very lazy when it comes to sex...he wants it everytime we see each other...but when i go to bed all i really want to do is sleep is this bad? my boyfriend is very ...
A. 9 October 2009: Then don't do it when you are tired? Do it when you are still fresh.
Who says you have to do it AFTER going to bed as well?... (read in full...)
How safe is a condom?
Q. How safe is it to use the condom during sexual intercourse? Im' rather curious as some people do get pregnant using condoms at times....
A. 9 October 2009: Mostly, because they use them wrong. It is only a thin piece of rubber and it sees a lot of action.
It is wise to be on the pill as well but for STD's they are the ONLY protection. Well, there is abstinence, but lets not kid ourselves.
How saf... (read in full...)
I'm desperate for a baby - is this man a suitable father or should I look elswhere?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now - I am 34, my boyfriend is 39 - we are in love and happy. However I would love to get married and have a family but, although he is very loving towards me, he doesn't talk about the future. He ...
A. 7 October 2009: Only going to answer one part of your post.
There is NO correlation between a man not wanting to use birth control and him not minding a baby.
Guys will insist on no-condome with a girl they know is fertile and then blame her for the results.... (read in full...)
Alone and pregnant while the father of the baby is out drinking every weekend sleeping with other women!
Q. Im ten weeks pregnant. Im not in a relationship with the father, I was seeing him for a short while but it was never serious. However, he is happy about it and says he will support me and the child. I know he will be a good dad. The only thing that ...
A. 7 October 2009: If a car and bike collide head on, then both are equally responsible. But the car driver walks away without a scratch. The biker...
Guess who you are. You drove your bike straight into a car because you believed the car driver told the truth th... (read in full...)
I can't get over his dirty magazine habits!
Q. Hi All, i cant believe im am writing and asking for advice, ive always been the one giving out advice and never needed any before. I am one of these that tackle any problems i have had in my life and then just get on with it. But im at a loose en...
A. 6 October 2009: Men and women are different.
If you are lucky, you can live happily together, and even enjoy the differences or at least make them work together. But men and women are different.
Take something as simple as a hug. Most women are smaller and ... (read in full...)
I can't read this guy! He wants to marry me by the 2nd date!
Q. Hi I'm in quite a situation and it's my own fault so it's ok if you tell me I messed up cause I know. Anyway here's the problem I just met this guy from Mexico and I asked him out we went on 2 dates and he says he loves me. I slept with him the ...
A. 6 October 2009: Either you were REALLY good, or something else is going on.
Move to mexico eh?
Something is going on, don't know what, but if you are LUCKY, this is only a citizenship thing or a nutcase.
... (read in full...)
Once we had sex he changed.Does he see me as nothing?
Q. Okay there is this guy that I really like. If you've read one of my similar posts I stated that he was ignoring me. I gave my virginity to him and afterwards he started ignoring me. I told him that I really liked him but he doesn't want to hear it. ...
A. 6 October 2009: He sees you as an occasional sex object when there ain't anything else to do.
Your choice wether you want to fill this role. Wouldn't recommend it.
A player would be better, they also only want sex but at least put in more effort to keep y... (read in full...)
I'm angry a scan did not detect my mother's cancer. what do I do?
Q. My mother died of lung cancer the end of August this year - it was not detected until after her death. For the past year she has been going to the doctors complaining of text book symptoms. She had a scan in April which came back clear. After her ...
A. 6 October 2009: You are american. Sue. It is the american version of a medical board.... (read in full...)
I had a bad accident, will women want to date me?
Q. I haven't dated in over 17 years and I don't want to be alone forever. I was nearly killed in a car accident when I was 24(I'm 41 now).I was a bodybuilder at the time,which doctors say probably saved my life.I was drunk(.33)4 times the limit....
A. 6 October 2009: Not many. Your a bad boy and women love that, but you also show the reality of being a bad boy. A crippled body.
Don't try the nice guy routine, nice guys don't drink and drive.
You could try the reformed bad boy routine and get some bleedin... (read in full...)
Do guys want experienced girls?
Q. I was just wondering...do guys prefer girls that are sexually inexperienced or do they like girls with experience. i personally have no experience and my friends say that they do prefer girls like that but im not so sure. do any of you guys out ...
A. 6 October 2009: Sex ain't nearly as hard as people pretend it is. What most guys really want is a girl who is really into having sex with them.
And there is a VERY long thread on this forum from a guy who can't get over the sexual experience his gf has. A not un... (read in full...)
He never reaches orgasm with me. Is this normal?
Q. This guy I've been casually seeing and sleeping for a while with has never been able to cum with me. He says that it's been a long time since he's been able to finish with a girl, whether it be actual sex or oral. He says that I do a really good ...
A. 6 October 2009: No, but it does happen.
It is a common believe that men need to last long to be good in the sack. You can learn to delay the orgasm because women tend to need a bit more time then men.
But it can be overdone and then the penis becomes desensit... (read in full...)
Am I blind to what she may have got up to at a party?
Q. Ok so me and my girlfriend just broke up a couple days ago. I broke up with her because of a long distance thing (4 hours). It felt like we were becoming more distant and I did not see any use in dragging something out that I didn't feel would last. ...
A. 5 October 2009: Eheh. So two girls stay over at a guys house. And nothing happened.
It is possible.
I just don't believe it. But then, I don't know her. You do.... (read in full...)
Alone and pregnant while the father of the baby is out drinking every weekend sleeping with other women!
Q. Im ten weeks pregnant. Im not in a relationship with the father, I was seeing him for a short while but it was never serious. However, he is happy about it and says he will support me and the child. I know he will be a good dad. The only thing that ...
A. 5 October 2009: You are 24. Old enough I think to be told a little secret.
Live ain't fair.
Women get pregnant, men don't.
You are a single mother to be, with a deadbeat father who wants the perks but none of the hardships. Sucks to be you, but nobody fo... (read in full...)
How likely is it that he will stop wanting to see me because I need to lose a few pounds?
Q. I've been dating this guy for about 2.5 months. Last night I was at his house and we were messing around and he started to undress me. Just before we started dating I gained about 10 lbs, and even though I know my weight/body is average, I'm very ...
A. 5 October 2009: What happened?
Apparently you had sex with the light on last night and now you think he isn't into you? Why? Did he not get into you?
5 kilo's ain't all that much and as you have dated and apparently had sex in the dark before I am fairly cert... (read in full...)
My boyfriend slept with someone else out of the blue; why would he do this?
Q. My boyfriend of over 2 and a half years has slept with someone else. He came to mine on Saturday, we had great sex, then went to the fair then for a lovely meal. He then went to a friend in London's housewarming party, coming back the next da...
A. 5 October 2009: A note of caution, men can cry on command as well and no woman believes this so it is infinitely more effective.
He had sex because he wanted to. If he didn't want to, he wouldn't have done so. BUT once it was done, he knew there was a good cha... (read in full...)
Should I go out with a boy who is my "soul mate"? Everyone thinks we need to!
Q. we were out for the day me an my mates and we ran into this boy who is my soul mate hes exactly like me we have the same personalty and everyone says we need to go out and he really likes me but im really not attracted to him but sometimes i think i ...
A. 5 October 2009: He is your soul mate but you are not attracted to him?
How does that work? If everyone else says he is your soul mate and you do not... well you are the one who are supposed to know.
Sorry, but sometimes a guy everyone thinks is right for you... (read in full...)
Is he ever going to use his full potential?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year now, and we clicked immediately. It went smoothly for the longest time, but I questioned weather he was over his ex or not. Now, I think he is mostly over her, but I still question it occasionally. ...
A. 5 October 2009: Well it is good to a mother worry about her son, all parents worry about how their kids is going to turn out and wether it will be "do you want fries with that" or "I like to thank the nobel-prize commitee..."
Oh, he isn't your son? Could have foo... (read in full...)
He shaved his pubic hair when I asked him not to!
Q. So today is a very sad day for me. I've been with my boyfriend for over 3 years and he's been talking about shaving his pubic hair for a while. Well, today he did it! Why why why? He just came home from work ate dinner and did it while i was ...
A. 5 October 2009: I think it is little more then a fashion decision. No more or less then the reason women shave in various places.
Should he have done it? Depends on your relationship, does he get to make demands about your grooming?
I can understand where... (read in full...)
Could this guy from my past be the real thing?
Q. I had a friend 20 years ago while serving in the Army. He was working with me and my husband too at the time. I am now divorced from that husband and seperated from my current husband. When we were in the service together, we often hung out at my ...
A. 5 October 2009: Well as I said, proceed with caution.
I just got a mental image of him being your safe guy. The so called nice guy that gets told "if only I could find a guy like you" by women.
But a nicer way of looking it is that the two of you just weren't... (read in full...)
Could this guy from my past be the real thing?
Q. I had a friend 20 years ago while serving in the Army. He was working with me and my husband too at the time. I am now divorced from that husband and seperated from my current husband. When we were in the service together, we often hung out at my ...
A. 4 October 2009: Ah, I was reading your post and wondering where HIS relationships were in these 20 years.
And there it is.
She cheated on him multiple times, in the same year. And he is only now saying he will file for a divorce, as soon as he can. She has adm... (read in full...)
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