A
female
age
30-35,
*nluvwitdawrongperson
writes:Im an 18 year old girl and im in love with my brother.. we grew up together until i was five.. we were separated for 13 years. hes 22 nn were imtimate, we dont use condoms we use withdrawl. i htink he knows that i like him,, but he doesnt say anything,,but i think hes in love with me too.we say its ok to have sex because we didnt grow up as bros,, is it true that if i get pregnant my kids will be deformed? nn what should i do to forget him?? its hard because we live together,, i know its wrong to think of him like that but what can i do??
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female
reader, bittersweetlove +, writes (17 August 2010):
You are in love with him because you missed so much time with him. Allow him to be your brother. Fall in love with never having to be seperated again, but by being in love with your brother you are cheating yourselves out of the brother you were born to have and always wanted. Good luck!!
A
female
reader, inluvwitdawrongperson +, writes (27 August 2009):
inluvwitdawrongperson is verified as being by the original poster of the question hey... to answer the person that asked if the sex was for fun. & for the other questions.
i had those emotions for him before we started to have sex, so doing this only increased those feelings,although they are not as strong as they use to.
we are still sexually active.
i guess we are so cold hearted that we dont care that we might go to hell for having sex lol. i have my boyfriend, i am not sexually active with him though. i guess i trust my bro more, i know that he wuldnt dare to get me pregnant lols.
i confessed to my brother that i was in love with him. the fucked up part was that i wrote it to him as a text haha, he didnt say how he felt about me er the situation, he doesnt act as though he was in love with me,he was more caring and more sweet, and he cares more about my feelings now. but when i try to be romantic to him he kind of gets afraid, but then hes romantic too.i seriously thinks that he likes me too, but hes trying cover it up. becuse we know its not right. so yhea. but then i think that his attraction to me is just physical. because he tells me that hes jealous when other guys hug me or when i stare at other guys. so yhea he doesnt know about my boyfriend, because im trying to see what he does first. so yhea that s the update,..he also gets really hurt when i joke around sayint that i dont like him. or that i dont want him anymore is that a sign of sumting??
and i also think that he cul like me to because its not possible that he doesnt think of me in that romantic way i mean he spends all day with me,. ..
well yhea
ILWTWP
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009): Sounded like pre-meditated incest since you contradicted yourself and said you have been in love with him for a long time despite a 13 year separation since the age of 5 and you are now 18. Doesn't leave much time to fall in love with him, since you would only have known him as a brother in the meantime, rather than a striking enough man to be a sexual or romantic partner. Basically sounds like you planned on the relationship prior to the reunion. It's irresponsible. Find the mate you were designed for.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2009): Hi,
There has been a lot of research about the type of thing that you are feeling right now: family members who meet each other later in life, as adults, and end fall in love. The research has found that this is largely because you are so genetically similar.
However just because it's a known syndrome, doesn't mean that it's a good idea. Incest, which is what this is, is really frowned upon, across the US and most countries around the world.
If you allow this to continue you will face a lot of negative responses, and you'll probably also give yourself a avery hard time for it. It'd be awful to look back at 30 years old, and know that you wasted the best years of your younger life with your brother, something that couldn't ever really work. I think you know that, because if you didn't you wouldn't be writing on here.
Part of me feels a bit angry at your brother in this situation, maybe because he's older, or maybe because you clearly have deep emotions about him, and it is possible he is just using you as the previous respondent suggested.
You really have to do what is right for you, and protect yourself, and part of that protection, even if you are still sleeping with him, is to wear a condom, or some other contraception, being a single mother at any time is really tough, but being a single mother at 18 or 19, with your brothers child would be incredibly tough.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009): Well, since he is your brother by blood, if you marry or have sex with him, it would be incest in most states. However, you said it's legal in Mexico, which I didn't know. I've also heard it's legal in France, but I don't know about that.
Since you are not sure exactly how he feels about you, perhaps you should just confront him about this and ask him how he feels about you. If he won't answer, say something like "Look, I've told you how I feel about you. Don't you think that because we had sex with each other, it's only right that you should tell me how you feel about me. Don't you think we need to talk about this and what kind of relationship we're going to have from here on out? I need to know what your intentions are."
You need to know how he feels, and if he wants a real relationship with you, or if he sees you more a "sister with benefits," someone that he can hook up with when he's not dating anybody. It's only fair that he tells you how he feels about you, since you have had a sexual relationship with you.
Also, after you had sex with him, did you have strong emotional/romantic feelings toward him? Or was the sex a purely physical and fun thing to do for you?
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A
female
reader, inluvwitdawrongperson +, writes (10 August 2009):
inluvwitdawrongperson is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey to the annomynous reader, well i fell in love with him a long time ago.and to be honest i still cant get him out of my heart. maybe its just an obssesion, because now my feelings dont get as hurt when he says oh i like this girl or whatever like that, so yea i still have feelings for him. but they are not as strong as before. so those feelings are the ones that woul make me leave with him.what trouble woul i be in with the law, i really need to know :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2009): I'm glad you found our answers helpful. I'm curious though, as to how you could fall out of love with him so quickly. When you first posted, you said you'd fallen in love with him, and now you say you're not in love with him anymore. What caused you to change how you feel? Also, you said you are still willing to have a romantic relationship with him if that's what he wants, so why would you be willing to have that with him if you are not in love with him anymore? Is it because you are sexually attracted to him or physically attracted to him or what?Since you were not using any kind of birth control, it's probably a good idea that you stopped having sex with him. But if you should start again, please, please, please use both condoms and birth control. Because if you have a baby with him, you could be in serious legal trouble. Best of luck to you.
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A
female
reader, inluvwitdawrongperson +, writes (3 August 2009):
inluvwitdawrongperson is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey ladies and gents,,, thanks for the advice,,nn statistics thing, it really helped,,, um im not really in love with him anymore,, and i dont think he likes me so why ruin our family with me thinking about telling him how i feel idk if that makes sence but yhea,, he tol me yesterday that we shuld probably stop because i might get pregnant nn that how wuld i explain who the father was,, so im guessin that means that hes kinda tired of me,, nn this whole day ive been thinking about the whole situation,,n i think im going to tell him that we shul stop,, n if he wants to have a romantic relation ship with me then hell tell me nn ill be there,, but if he doestn then im gunna forget him, cus im more then capable to expose this to my family if he wanted to be a cuple but i dont think hes willing, im mexican so if we move to mexico thats legal over there, but what if we go together nn then i dont love him anymore, then all of that wul be fatal because i wul have shamed my family,, and ruined my life,, but anyways, im not gunna have sex with him anymore,, nn im gunna try to move on.. thanks again,, i just wanted sum advice because i cant tell anyone else about my problems..,, so thanks,,
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A
female
reader, inluvwitdawrongperson +, writes (3 August 2009):
inluvwitdawrongperson is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey ladies and gents,,, thanks for the advice,,nn statistics thing, it really helped,,, um im not really in love with him anymore,, and i dont think he likes me so why ruin our family with me thinking about telling him how i feel idk if that makes sence but yhea,, he tol me yesterday that we shuld probably stop because i might get pregnant nn that how wuld i explain who the father was,, so im guessin that means that hes kinda tired of me,, nn this whole day ive been thinking about the whole situation,,n i think im going to tell him that we shul stop,, n if he wants to have a romantic relation ship with me then hell tell me nn ill be there,, but if he doestn then im gunna forget him, cus im more then capable to expose this to my family if he wanted to be a cuple but i dont think hes willing, im mexican so if we move to mexico thats legal over there, but what if we go together nn then i dont love him anymore, then all of that wul be fatal because i wul have shamed my family,, and ruined my life,, but anyways, im not gunna have sex with him anymore,, nn im gunna try to move on.. thanks again,, i just wanted sum advice because i cant tell anyone else about my problems..,, so thanks,,
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A
female
reader, Love is all you need  +, writes (1 August 2009):
 you could have sex just don't have a baby cause they will turn deformed so not a good idea, to forget him try getting to know another guy maybe you'll hit it off and you'll forget about your brother.hope this helped....xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2009): There is a website that you might want to register at called Genetic Sexual Attraction. It is for people who have this kind of experience that you have had. This has happened to lots of people, and not just brother-sister couples. There are a lot of long-lost mother-son, father-daughter pairs who have reunited after many years of separation, and have fallen in love with each other. You obviously have a serious issue here, because of how your family may react, and the fact that incest is illegal in most states and countries (except France, where I've read it's legal). I am not sure what kind of advice to give you, but from your post, it sounds like this is more than just a physical/sexual/lustful attraction to your brother, but an emotional/romantic one. There's an old saying that you can't help who you fall in love with, and it looks like that may apply in your case.It might be best for the two of you to see a therapist, like one who does couples counseling, to talk about this issue and try to determine how to handle it. Because of the emotional/love feelings involved, this doesn't seem like something you could resolve on your own.As far as children, the risk of deformed children is statistically no greater than in the general population, but the social/familial problems and shame it might cause could be bigger problems for you and your brother. If you are going to continue having sex, it is safer to use some type of birth control, even two forms, such as the pill AND condoms, because neither method is 100% effective alone. I wish you the best of luck, and please post back here to give us an update on how you and your brother have decided to address this situation. Please consider getting counseling because counselors/therapist are very skilled at enabling people to overcome problem situations.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (1 August 2009):
 Well no, the risk of deformity is tiny and there are far greater risk factors like smoking and drinking.
For that matter, if you think that a risk should be avoided then you should basically also allow society determine who could reproduce with who in all cases.
But that doesn't mean it is all right. Of course you love him, he is your brother. All the emotions of being re-connected with your brother are NOT the same as the love between lovers.
You DID grow up as brother and sister, until the age of 5 and that is more then old enough to have memories. And you also KNOW you are brother and sister when you two met up again, so it is not like you were two strangers who fell in love only to find out later that you are related.
Sorry, but society will be very harsh with you two because there are far to many cases where incest is the result of abuse that society can't afford to take the risk.
And I think you are being used here. He doesn't say he loves you, shy? Yeah right. He is screwing his sister, shyness is not HIS problem. And if a guy doesn't say he loves you, then he doesn't.
Get out of this before you are in an even bigger mess. Withdrawal method is already stupid in normal couples. In an incest case with a brother who is most likely just using you for sex... no.
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A
male
reader, usandthem  +, writes (1 August 2009):
i think you should cease from having sex with him right away. he is your brother and you are both doing a wrong, stupid thing.
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A
female
reader, Renee okc +, writes (1 August 2009):
Have you totally lost your mind what would make you think it is a good idea to have sex first of all with your brother second unprotected sex at that and third to be living in the same house. I understand that you didn't grow up together but you have to see where ya'll have crossed the line. It is like you want us to tell you that it is ok for you to be sleeping with your brother and it is totally not. Now if he is step brother and there is no blood relation, I say have at it and best of luck. By the way your letter reads you guy's sound like blood relations and that is a no no. Honey you are setting yourself up to be hurt because this relationship will not be excepted and you and him aren't thinking of all of the consequences involved in you being related and have sex. Please get yourself a shrink because you will need it in the long run.
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