A
female
age
,
*oonespecial2
writes:Hi there,I have been divorced for some years now and since my daughter started her period, her Dad has refused to see her the weekends she menstruates. I was wondering if any Father's or other Mother's have had the same experience so some light can be shed on this for me. Also any ideas on how I can support him so it's not such an issue. He has requested I take her to the Doctor to get it stopped, seems a bit weirdish to me.
View related questions:
divorce, period Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, femalespicolli  +, writes (29 August 2009):
 I think a better way to assist him would be to buy him a book about parenting adolencents who are going through puberty. Do you think that he would read something like that?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2009): Depo-Provera, which I think is what you are referring to, is birth control. The loss of menstrual periods it causes is usually an unwanted side effect. If your daughter's menstrual cycle is not bothering her, I strongly suggest against having her go on any type of regimen to alter it just for your ex-husband's comfort.As far as I know, "stopping" her period can only mean rendering her infertile. If your ex doesn't want to have grandchildren, that's his issue, but your daughter is too young to have to consider whether or not she will eventually want children just because her father is being childish.
...............................
A
female
reader, green banana  +, writes (3 August 2009):
she is his daughter, he should lover her unconditionally and be there for her what ever, what silly behavior, i don't know about any thing you can do to offer him support except find him some therapy!
...............................
A
female
reader, femalespicolli +, writes (3 August 2009):
I had to se my Dad every other weekend and the only reason why he wouldn't want me over to his house while it was that time of the month, would be because he hates to see me in pain, and I unfortunately had really bad cramps. But other than that, he would go to the store and buy me whatever I needed in that arena. Usually younger girls don't know their bodies very well yet and maybe there was an "incident" where something got ruined and your Ex husband got freaked out.
...............................
A
female
reader, noonespecial2 +, writes (28 July 2009):
noonespecial2 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi again,To reply tp all of your questions, yes he experienced me with my period and there didn't seem to be an issue, although he would respond with an immature ew if ever there was a joke related to a Woman and her period. I am wondering if there could be some influence from his fiance, although she should be more empathetic one would think. As far as I know it is just my daughter he has the issue with. Yes, I married him and divorced him thankfully. I agree about his head needing a review. Yes as far as I know the phobia is a recent development.I agree that he is messed up. Good response about the Korean flag (giggle)I think it's as you say, his refusal to see her growing up. I'm unable to research him, I'm not that close to him. I think it's more about inconvenience and a bit more responsibility. There is a needle called depro provera that shrinks the ovaries and menstruation ceases over time. He is not religious and I feel certain it has nothing to do with sexual abuse, but a scary bit of information about the case you mentioned. No, his fiance is not religious either. He did mention how my daughter doesn't always dispose of her pads neatly and that there are marks on bedding. Yes, my daughter knows. He seems to think he can't go out because she is too heavy. I think the real reason is that it is just too much hassle and he doesn't want her growing up. I was hoping for ideas on how I can assist him. Thanks.
...............................
A
female
reader, boo22 +, writes (27 July 2009):
 Did he not see you when you were on your period? Is it all menstruating women or just your daughter?
...............................
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (27 July 2009):
 Well, you married him.
He needs his head checked. Is this phobia with menstruation a recent development?
This guy is messed up. Do you know that north korean flag? Well the one that should be going up in your mind is even bigger and redder.
Un-educated seems unlikely, he was married to a woman who I presume menstruated during that marriage.
Remains an extreme desire to stop his daugher growing up (and the person in me that reads the newspaper cannot help but think that a dead child will never grow up) or that he has become convinved that women are unclean. Not exactly a healthy type to have a young girl around either.
Do some real research. What has he been doing lately, who has he been talking to, what is he reading. He wouldn't be the first nutcase to resort to violence.
You knew him some time ago, what is the cause for this insane request?
...............................
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (27 July 2009):
 I think he needs to see a psychologist. There is no way to get it "stopped." Even with birth control pills that limit the amount of times during the year that she gets it, they still don't stop it.
Maybe he just doesn't want to buy her pads.
...............................
A
female
reader, Ravenxx91 +, writes (27 July 2009):
 There is two times i have heard of this. one normal and one bad... (i apologise first off btw)
The first one was religion, my friend is hindu and her father wouldn't let her come to school, go out or socialise during days she was on her period. This was because it was considered dirty. Is your ex- husband religious or with someone who is?
The second was rather unpleasent and im not accusing at all its just speculation.
The experience of this was a friend who was being sexually abused by her father but didn't like to abuse her when she was on her period as he found it unpleasent for 'sexual intercourse'
im not saying he is its just what ive seen.
However it could be how your daughter acts so she may not dispose of her pads of tampons neatly or correctly and she may cause marks on fabric (such as a bed sheet or sofa) something like that?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): Wow, he either has some serious issue or is very uneducated, but at his age he shouldn't be.
I agree it is weird that he is asking you to take her to the doctor. What he's doing is very insensitive to your daughter and I think he's acting in an immature manner.
Maybe he is a bit weird about the fact his daughter is starting to mature and therefor starting her periods but it should not be a reason for her to not see him on the weekends she is menstruating.
It doesn't get in the way of anything, the only possible (normal) conclusion I can come up with is if she leaks on the bed or isn't disposing the tampons/pads properly. Ask if it is that, if so that can be easily sorted, but if that's not the reason then you need to rule out why. I'm not a parent but I've never heard of this.
...............................
A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom +, writes (27 July 2009):
 A bit weirdish? It's messed up!
Do you have any idea why he would want this? Is he deeply religious? Or maybe he doesn't want her to grow up and it's gone way too far in his mind. Either way it's sick. Does your daughter know about this?
...............................
|
