A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 14 year old girl. When I masturbate, I often look at pictures of women. When I fantasize, I always think of a man and a woman having sex. I am neither of these people, nor do I identify with them. Although I usually make the girl about my age and the man older. I usually think of women's breasts. I don't care to think of vaginas or womens' butts, just breasts. When I think of men, I only think of the penis. Am I a lesbian, objectifying men, autosexual or what? Do all women like picturing beautiful, flawless women? I have pretty low self esteem. I've never orgasmed yet.
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (5 August 2009):
 Most likely you are just a teen still figuring out what it is all about.
In the real world things ain't as black and white as being either full hetero or full homosexual. Even people who think they are one or the other in reality belong somewhere in between those extreems. (and being fully bi-sexual would be an extreme as well)
Just be yourself and don't let society pressure you one way or the other.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2009): Just your hormones running amok. As Emily said, your desires at this age are likely to be all over the place, verging on indiscriminate, and it might take a while for you to work out your preferences.
Even when you do, it's always a work in progress and open to change. To take porn as an example: I'm gay, so in theory I should prefer gay porn. Truth is, I find guy-on-girl porn sexier! When I do watch it (very rarely on my own, it's usually with a partner, on as sort of 'background music') obviously I'm mentally feasting on the guy's anatomy, but to just as much of an extent, I'm enjoying observing the female, identifying with her, picking up quite a lot of very useful ideas on everything from attire, disposal of same during seduction, to the movements, actions and vocal expressions that follow when it really gets going.
Freud himself might have a hard time working that out. But the important point isn't the specifics of what turns me on, it's the fact that I love it and don't beat myself up about it. You do the same, whatever works for you, and stop worrying.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (5 August 2009):
 When I look at a adult video, I try to make myself feel what the guy is feeling when he's doing something on screen. I like woman but I don't like adult video about lesbian because I can't picture myself in the scene if there's no guy with them. So I do like seeing penises in adult movies because it helps me feel like I'm being part of the movie.
I like penises because of the sensations I get with mine, I can't, however, imagine myself in a relationship with another guy.
Liking breast doesn't mean that you are lesbian or bi, it just mean you like breast.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (5 August 2009):
This may sound patronising and I don't mean it to so please don't take it the wrong way. You have obviously done some research on this and sound like a bright girl.
But at 14 you are literally overdosing on hormones. These hormones are currently doubling your height and hip density, they are causing breasts to grow, they will change everything about your body from your face to your internal organs.
They are going to have an effect on your brain, and that effect is generally to make you want to have sex with everything that moves.
It is perfectly normal to think about men, women, and all kinds of things at 14. Your brain is changing and you will experience all kinds of things.
Women are beautiful and we are bombarded with images of their breasts every day in TV, film, advertising, magazines, etc etc etc. Those beautiful flawless women are also what you want to change into, so it's no wonder you have an association between boobs and sexiness.
This question is asked very often, especially by kids in America and other countries where being gay is not seen as a good thing.
My advice to you is to just think about whatever it is that turns you on and enjoy it. You may find you've gone off it next month and it's hairy chests that do it for you. You may find that you continue to like men and women, you may find you forget men or women all together and just like one.
You can't tell the future and we all go through this so just enjoy the ride the best you can and don't worry about what you can't change.
Good Luck!! xx
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