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Virginity and experience--does it matter?

Tagged as: Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 June 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 16 June 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, *omanticsRomantic writes:

alrighty...i guess this would count more as a poll, but i just kinda want to get an idea what guys/girls think.

Guys: Would it matter if your girlfriend/boyfriend was a virgin (i mean this in the sense that she hasn't done oral, hand jobs..pure in the real sense of the word, excluding kissing)? Or would you rather someone with experience in what she/he's doing? (i don't mean the prson that's slept with 400 guys by the time she/he's 16. i just mean she/he's had sex before, a hand job, oral...stuff like that)

Girls: Does it matter to you if your girlfriend/boyfriend has done the above? (just cuz i'm too lazy to write that all out again XD)

Oh and for both, why or why doesn't it matter? (sorry i'm just really curious .)

Oh and yes not that it really matters, but people have asked me before so i thought i'd put it in. Yes i'm a virgin and my wish to be one has nothing to do with religion or anything, it's a personal choice. I believe that it's a special something that i'd like to remember fondly and not with regret. I'm not waiting for marriage, i'm just waiting for the person that makes me feel comfortable enough to let them get that close. Nothing to do with the act itself, just the feelings that always hitch a ride when someone does something they don't wanna/regret or do it just because it's a fad.

View related questions: hand-job, kissing

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2010):

The official average number of parters for the american male is 7. In fact it could be argued that the real most common amount is probably as low as 5 or less. It's because of the way statistics are gathered and the fact that men inflate their figures as group.

But when a typical man says he is bothered by his wife's 10 or 15 past partners, scores of women will immediately jump up and call him a hypocrite WITHOUT EVEN BOTHERING TO ASK HIS NUMBER.

Something is wrong with the math here.

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (15 June 2010):

Jmtmj agony auntI also prefer chocolate icecream over vanilla, wanna judge me for that as well?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010):

Guys usually prefer inexperienced girls. Sluts are not popular (at least not as serious GF material) and there are good reasons for that.

After a certain age some guys (not all) start avoiding virgins because of the baggage that they fear it might bring. Guys might fear the girl sinking too much unwanted meaning onto a casual dating romp. Taking virginity is a huge honor if the relationship is serious, but it could be a liability if you don't know how serious you are about the girl. And a girl being good in the sack doesn't hurt either. But even in these cases where the guy prefers non-virgins, the girl's past experience itself is usually not ATTRACTIVE. Her past experience is usually just accepted for the positive side effects.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010):

To me it doesn't matter in the slightest either way.

No experience means we get to experiment and find out together what works for her.

Lost of experience means she already knows what she likes and knows how to get the most out of sex.

The negatives are that no experience can make a girl feel insecure whether she's good or not etc. It can make sex a nervy experience for her.

The negatives of lots of experience means that the guy can feel inseucre in comparison to her past lovers, every guy wants to think he's the best a girl has had.

There are lots of other intricacies to the questions you asked but I could write a thesis on all of those, things like oral and manula being better with more experience etc.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010):

To the guy below, wow, you're mature. I bet you'd expect the girl being ok with you having whatever sexual past you wish?

Anyway, sorry. Haha. To be honest, you get to a certain point where it doesn't matter. Teenage years are stupid, don't let anyone tell you they're the best time of your life, they're not. Mistakes are made, people do stupid things. But then you get abit older, and it makes sense more. Most people have been there, done that, no matter how many times/ how much/ how little. You begin to realise it's more important to be in love and happy, and being truly in love, you both accept each other for being a person, not a number, or as having a sell- by date. Me and my boyfriend don't ask, or even want to know. We're together now, and that's all that matters. You're right to want to wait, but that doesn't mean everyone will. Just accept everyone for who they are, when you meet your like- minded other half, you'll realise how childish all this was. It just doesn't matter. If my boyfriend had slept with the world, all I'd want to know is that he was safe and that I'm not putting myself in danger, and same for him. So stop worrying :)

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (15 June 2010):

Jmtmj agony auntI'd rather have a blank piece of paper than a piece of paper that others have already doodled on.

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