A
male
age
30-35,
*nonymousboi
writes:hey there ...once again im back here for advice ...if you have read my past posts you would know my background story to just refresh it .. my ex gf of 11 months broke up with me cause she said she didn't love me any more and said she wants someone better . there nothing too bad about me , people knew i loved and cared for her . anyways i saw her at a party when she walked in she didn't even look at my face or say hi. that really made my angry ... well about 10 mins later she was chatting up another guy and exchanging numbers then later she leaves the party to go to the club with the guy and 3 of his friends .why is she doing this to me shes know im angry and wants to make me cut . its only been 9 days since the break up and she seems very happy to move on away from me .. she also left home with him as well ... all night i couldn't stop thinking about this why would she want to hurt me so bad after a long relationship she decided to hurt me in every way . the next day i was on msn messenger .. on her display name she wrote i had the best night , oh boy your so muscly ..... .shes being such a bi$ch to me killing my life and she knows it . how could she do it to me after she said she loved me , thought i was the one and we would be good through thick and thin?? its just so confusing why she even left me in the first place and not giving me a chance and now shes over me in 9 days and chatting up other guys .... why and how can she do this to me ??? why does she want revenge when shes the one who broke my feelings?
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broke up, ex girlfriend, move on, msn, my ex, revenge Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymousboi +, writes (15 June 2010):
anonymousboi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the great advice i have been needing some advice from other perspectives . .thanks again you really helped me !
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 June 2010):
 It is understandable that you are deeply hurt after the break up. She gave you the hope that you would be together thruogh thick and thin, and then it was revealed to not be so. However, it is pointless to focus your anger towards her. She is out of your life now. You asked, why does she do this to me? I think the truth is it has nothing to do with you. She has moved on. Although it is brutal of her to flirt with other guys so shortly after the breakup, right in front of you, she can do whatever she pleases to now that she is single. By her actions it appears she wished to be single for a long time, and didn't need that much time to heal up after the break up.
Could it be she didn't see you there in the club? Yuo said she didn't even look at your face, perhaps she didn't see you. Clubs are usually filled with many people, and it can be hard to notice everyone. It could also be that, despite her pain from the breakup she wanted to go out and try and move on. Maybe she saw you, but decided it would be too painful to even say hi. 9 days is a shirt time to expect people to be sivil towards one another. And as your own feelings show you, it is not easy to see your ex only 9 days after a break up.
Whatever reasons she had for not greeting you at that club, or for chatting up guys, I don't think it had anything to do with you. She is doing that for herself. And if you did like her, and focused less on your ex, you wouldn't have been noticing how she flirted with others either. Focus on yourself now, and ignore her actions. If she chooses to say hi to you, you should greet her back. Be polite. But other than that she isn't worth your energy and attention.
I hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2010): You need to completely distance yourself from this girl and this situation. You have no chance of moving on otherwise. You are currently torturing yourself and for no good reason..it's not going to get her back. She is no longer in a relationship with you, she is single and she is allowed to flirt with other guys. I know it is hurting you, and yes I do agree that perhaps she should be taking your feelings into consideration as the breakup was quite recent.But you cannot control other people's actons. So you just have to keep your dignity, grin and bear it. You will eventually start to feel better and you will be able to look back with relief that you carried yourself well throughout this situation. Good Luck.xxx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (13 June 2010):
Just cut contact. She is being a bitch, but if you sit there and allow it, you'll never be able to get on with your life. Just get away from her. Cut contact entirely, and don't bother with her.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 June 2010):
 She is not doing anything to you and she is not seeking revenge. She is simply living her life and moving on,-and you should do the same.
Of course it would be better if she could use a bit more discretion and be less obvious about her moving on- but you could just hope that, not demand it or expect it.
T%he best you can do now is to try and stay away from her as much as possible until you'll feel less vulnerable. Avoid as much aspossible to attend events where you are likely to meet her, and do not check her Internet profiles and activity. You'll get over her, even if you don't believe it right now- you will. But you have to cooperate with your own healing !
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (13 June 2010):
 Yep, she's a bitch.
Aren't you glad you didn't wind up wasting anymore time with her..?
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A
male
reader, rivi  +, writes (13 June 2010):
Whether she's a bitch or not is neither here nor there: you are doing this to yourself !
Cry yourself to sleep if you must but once you are out in public or MSN -ing DON'T let her or anyone see how upset you are. Even if you have to act a part PRETEND you have moved on and have gotten over her.
It doesn't matter what caused her to break up with you or whether her decision was wise or stupid : it's a decision she has made. Plus people do break up and have series of relationships / sex encounters.....
So take advantage and enjoy your new freedom: enjoy dating other girls.
It's not a bad thing that you feel the breakup so badly - in fact I would say it shows you have a caring, affectionate, side which a lot of girls would appreciate I think.
|But don't let the hurt feelings fester and become a worse pain than they need to be. You enjoyed the relationship while it lasted. Now it has ended and there is a future.
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