A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:*OP's Original Title*Hey why would a guy deny to people that he likes you? I know with my situation theres a possibility he doesnt feel that way for me but the way hes acted EVERYONE thought he did. He was always really strange with me like he wouldnt sit with me, always made sure he was with them, wouldnt talk to me even when i made the effort, yet we've been friends for nearly 3 years, hes just so negative about it all as if he just wants to have fun with the others and i'm not even there. Ok they are more open than me and i'm more quiet but hes always been quite shy with me in general. Those are the bad points.Stuff has happened though all in quite a weird way which i wasnt expecting it. We went out one night and we were just messing around and for once he started it! I sat on his knee and he started cuddling me really tightly as if we were toegther, just messing round, putting his head on mine, touching my stomach, legs, putting his hands in my pockets etc. Also on a night i got very drunk and ill he walked me home and whilst we were sat down he started holding my hand and when we hugged we we parted he slightly had his hands on my bum. I admit i was constantly hugging him last night. I hope its not all in my head but to me it seemed as if with me doing that he started to gain the confidence. Afew other bits such as when me and my mates bf were playfighting he turned to my mate and said "cummon if they are we are" and from that we all thought hes jealous. And the way he commented on the fact that me and that guy were "flirting" even though we werent and how he asked if there was anyone i liked at college. Although i thought that was just in a friends way.I wouldnt usually do that and i cant do it normally as he constantly just goes to the others, i never get the chance he never seems comfortable enough with me for me to do that because in reality i dont think he wants me to. I mean whats the point? I never know how he'll be, he just seems to want the others he will flirt with other girls perfectly fine. From what happened everyone said he obviously likes you but whenever hes been asked hes always said he doesnt and just wants to be mates. Tbh im starting to believe him but hes not being right with me whats so ever. I dont know if its because im shy in general and not as open but hes forever changing and i dont know what to do. Because he will hardly speak to me i cant talk to him about it either! Tbh i know this is alot to ask but i dont wanna talk about it with him. I wanna try something to stop him acting this way. maybe act differently with him? Im not to confident myself but its depressing me now. Other people talking to him doesnt work, me inviting him out doesnt work because hes just as quiet when we;re alone. What can i do? Why do guys deny liking girls?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2010): I can see why he's confused, your story here did not make any sense, quite disjointed and rambling.
My advice is I wouldn't pay any attention to what the "others" are doing or saying or telling you about what he says about you. The fact that you have only been friends for three years sort of indicates that he may not have romantic feelings for you, but may think you are very attractive and is starting to develop some feelings for you. Perhaps he is afraid of ruining your friendship if he takes it to the next level and turns this romantic...because once you do that, the friendship can never be gotten back if it doesn't work out.
You have to talk to him about it, you can't act differently to "make him change", you don't control others. If you want to risk the friendship, you could kiss him, that would give him a clear signal as the other guy suggested.
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (14 June 2010):
 ARGHH!! Just kiss him already!!! lol
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