A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Sorry this isn't a love question but I need some answers..I usually walk to work and back and this evening I got slightly scared because I thought I was being followed...This guy was on his bike in front of me he the spun his bike around and looked at me but I walked straight past him. I then noticed he was on the left hand side of the road just sort of hanging about whilst I walked on the other side... Then- this is what made me think twice- I got to the end of the road to cross over and as I turned I saw him on my side of the road but far away just staring- he saw that I saw him and turned his head.Now I have to cross under an isolated tunnel to get on to my road and I ran through so fast and kept checking behind me and he want there...Maybe it was just innocent but I just got a nasty vibe. Also he looked around 40ish so he wasn't a silly teenager messing about which is more understandable...Thoughts please Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (15 June 2010):
 Never doubt your instincts when it comes to things like this. If its enough for you to notice then its enough to be cautious.
A
male
reader, welsh  +, writes (14 June 2010):
Better safe than be sorry. Change your route/timings for a few days if possible. Also, see if you can take the walk with someone else from your workplace who goes the same route.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (14 June 2010):
I think there's a thin line between paranoia and healthy caution. Don't forget, women are practically hammered every day with exhibitions of disturbing behaviour by the news.
My friend, for an instance will demand to be picked up when it gets dark or takes her car with her on such occasions (even though in winter, dark can be as early as 5pm). I find that a bit too much.
But again, it's always a good idea to mind your surroundings and keep an eye out. I for one, always carry a pen in my pocket. It makes a quick weapon that lacks the mess a knife would cause, but its metallic shine makes people back off anyway. If you don't feel confident with that, get pepper spray.
I'm pretty confident when it comes to my own safety because I've been doing martial arts rigorously for 10 years now. But you don't have to be a Bruce Lee reincarnate to be able to defend yourself effectively. So sign up for a self defense course for women where you live. They teach easy, simple techniques that can be applied to numerous situations.
I was once jumped in an alley on my way home by two guys. I wasn't afraid and I showed them that by hitting the first in the throat with my fist. It's a simple move that doesn't require much strength. He fell down and struggled with breathing. This scared the other one off and they left.
Lastly: walk up straight, with a steady confident gait, even if you don't feel that confident. If you appear to be so, people will not choose you as their victim so easily. Really, those creeps are usually not that tough. They choose targets that they think are the easiest to take.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2010): At least you weren't hurt
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (14 June 2010):
 I would err on the side of caution and trust your gut--if it felt creepy, that's all the justification you need for your actions.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2010): I'm sorry you had such a frightening experience, especially with this guy intentionally stopping and watching you, how awful.
First I would say don't ignore this, and by that I don't mean you lock yourself away and don't walk out, but I personally would report this incident. Ok it may be harmless, it may be he was just looking you over as some guys do, but the description you give, even if that was the case, is pretty creepy. By reporting it, you have nothing to lose, and may be, if he is that creepy, some warning can be made, so hopefully this kind of behaviour is nipped in the bud. It is not acceptable, and again I would be concerned if he's behaving like this, next time it could be a less vigilant female than you. Absolutely no harm in reporting it and giving a description of him, then you have done all you can.
You are highly likely never to see him again, just one of those times most women experience in their life, but I always like to Ur on the side of caution.
Just a couple of things, can you vary your walk home, I was advised to do this when I go running - The tunnel I don't like, any other way for you, may be take a bus once in a while.
Please don't lose sleep over this, I'm sure all will be fine, just remain sensible and as vigilant as you have been today.
Sending you a virtual hug...take care!
Jilly X
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2010): hmmm keep an eye on him.. if you see him, dont walk your usual pat, find another one.... get a car. maybe?
good luck... remember KEEP AN EYE and pls dont walk in underground tunnels or dark places!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2010): Just one of those incidents that seems to happen most woman, there's no way to tell what his intentions were if he had any at all, just accept that you were vigilant enough to deal with a perceived danger and nothing happened.
I hear about this kind of thing all the time from my female friends, some of it is paranoia other times it's just weird freak guys. There's plenty of those creeps around and it's always better to exercise caution than get caught out. Don't let it bother you unless you begin to see him again, in that case get a male colleague to walk you some of the way home.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (14 June 2010):
 Yeah, he was most definitely watching you. And yes, it was creepy. But, he may have only been an older guy rubbernecking you (extended checking you out, like construction guys do with ladies walking down the street).
I know it made you feel like you wanted a cold shower afterwards, but I think you're okay. Hopefully, you won't see him again.
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