A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Girls, how would you react if your best male friend kissed you? As in we are both 26 and she does know I like her but on this day we were just driving and I suddenly pulled the car over, and she said "what are you doing", I said "this" and leaned over and kissed her on the lips for 5 or 6 seconds. She didn't pull away, she let me do it, there was no "what the hell???", it felt right and she appeared totally comfortable with it, as in no awkward silences, no rush to get out the car when we got back to hers. So how would you react in the same position? I've been told if she had no romantic feelings for me she would have pulled away but like maybe she was just not wanting to hurt my feelings? That was 2 days ago and she has been normal since, no awkward conversations or anything. She does have a lot of self esteem issues due to a lot of hurt from her past and she has said for the last couple of years she does not want to be in a relationship with anyone but I have always thought we were perfect for each other and she will realise this when she is ready. People have told me if she didn't want that kiss she would have pulled away or by body language it would have been clear. So if you were in her position how would you react if you were kissed by someone you did or did not like in a romantic way?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 June 2010):
 If you want to know how she feels about the kiss ASK her. You can guess and speculate all day long and never know.
Ask her, tell her how you feel and then well, RESPECT her and her decision.
Good luck!
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (24 June 2010):
 Mmmm... I've let a girl whom I wasn't interested in kiss me for around 7 seconds without pulling away (a lot to process when the friend boundary gets crossed unexpectedly). She could be interested for sure, just don't assume its a done-deal is all.
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (24 June 2010):
 Dude, don't speculate. You'll just convince yourself that she's into you even if she isn't. It's called confirmation bias - you will interpret anything she does as confirmation of your theory.
If the two of you really are as close as you claim, then what is the harm in telling her how you feel and asking whether or not she feels the same? Honesty is best here unless your ulterior motive is simply to get into her panties. If this friendship can't withstand this kind of honesty then it couldn't be a true friendship. Good luck and take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2010): there are various reasons and it honestly depends on each girl and their particular relationship to that other person.so i cant really give you an answer but i want to suggest one possability of what may be going on in her mind.maybe she never considered you in that light before, as having romantic feelings for you. But now that you kissed her, she was open to it, maybe she even liked it, and now is considering you in that light.Feelings that weren't there before, may be there now. She could be processing this.
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A
female
reader, Deema +, writes (24 June 2010):
 Ooooh, lots of boundaries crossed here. Makes for a whole lot of confusion. She may just not know how to react now. If she's low in herself she's probably feeling like hell now, scared she'll lose her best friend, but also scared he may cross those boundaries again, when all she wants is a friend. No communication about the whole thing is the worst thing you can do. I think YOU are going to have to take the lead here - as it was you who crossed the line - and ask her how she's feeling, apologise even for crossing the line - you'll soon know then if it was right or wrong, as she will have her opportunity to state how the kiss made her feel. Until then you're in danger of losing both a friend and a lover. Unless she felt the same as you then the relationship is likely to end as she will just feel too uncomfortable about it - and eventually so will you. Its very sad when this happens. It happened to my daughter, and they couldn't go back into the friendship place, but they knew she was vulnerable and didn't want the relationship either, so she lost a very good friend at that time. Maybe it would have been best to tell her how you felt first - but its all scarey, you'd probably fear her running a mile if you got it wrong, but physical contact doesn't clarify, it just clouds. Just my thoughts. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Lola1 +, writes (24 June 2010):
 If she isn't ready for a long-term relationship, why are you pushing for one?
It is true that if she were repulsed by the idea of a romantic exchange with you, she would have pulled away. It is also true that if she loved and felt she needed your friendship, she might try to be careful not to hurt your feelings and outright turn you down.
If I did not want to be with someone and they kissed me, yet I felt so vulnerable that I did not want to lose their friendship and appeared ok with it, but did not encourage such things, I may grow resentful in time that the "friend" was not respecting my boundaries.
Your conversation has been "back to normal" since the kiss. Unless you want to come out and ask her how she felt about it, I suggest you put the relationship out of your mind.
These matters can be confusing, but I wish you luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2010): I was in this same position with a friend. I was married and still did not pull away. If she had pulled away she would have clearly not wanted it, but by not pulling away she is saying that she too is attracted to you. The issue is whether or not you want to be more than friends. I know I developed feeling for this other guy and he obviously had feelings for me. This situation was very complicated in that we couldn't completely have each but you can- so why are you holding back? There is nothing worse than trying to guess a man's feelings. Women just want it straight--no games. If you have feelings for her say it-- she is ready to hear it if she participated willingly. She probably just wants to hear your intentions or it will just turn into a game and nobody wins.
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