How To Move Forward After a Toxic Relationship
Q. I think I may be trauma bonded to my ex and I am trying to get the heck over myself. How do I do this? This was a relationship that grew out of the pandemic and still feels so big to me. Everything I experienced in this was on another level. I wa...
A. 24 February 2022: Sounds like that person likes to play games with people. Mid-fu@k games.
You got PUNISHED with the "silent treatment" for not saying "I love you " back on demand. You didn't "play" the game. Because you didn't know it was a game.
It's OK to fe... (read in full...)
How To Move Forward After a Toxic Relationship
Q. I think I may be trauma bonded to my ex and I am trying to get the heck over myself. How do I do this? This was a relationship that grew out of the pandemic and still feels so big to me. Everything I experienced in this was on another level. I wa...
A. 23 February 2022: Gongrats on getting away from that person.
How to move on?
Well, for one KEEP the No Contact 100%. Perhaps even get a new phone number, lock down your social media to private, so that only people YOU are friends with can see it. If he met AN... (read in full...)
How do I extricate myself from this relationship without hurting feelings?
Q. So I have been with this guy for 5 months now, he is 32 and I am 25. We first met over tinder (yikes I know), we had a couple first dates it was lovely, he is funny and kind. It wasn't until the third date we slept together and since then we just ...
A. 23 February 2022: OP, it's TOTALLY OK to decide, this is not the right person for me.
He CAN be a nice person and not be "your" person longterm.
My advice? Let him know that you can't continue the relationship because you need to focus on your health.
Or yo... (read in full...)
I am 14 and want a dildo
Q. I have an ongoing issue. I am longing for a dildo, and I am only 14! I really want to ask my mom for one but don't know how to confront her about it. Am I too young? If not, how should I ask her?...
A. 22 February 2022: While I get that you are getting an influx of hormones and some of those are with regards to sexual appetite, I think you might want to slow your roll here.
A 14 year old does NOT need sex toys. You do not need to try and insert stuff in yourself... (read in full...)
I don't want a relationship with my husband's parents right now
Q. My in laws made it a rule last year that I cannot come to their home, RV or Cabin without being vaccinated. His parents also said a lot of bad things about me in the past year very hurtful things. His parents didn’t want him to marry me. He moved an ...
A. 22 February 2022: "I am wrong for feeling this way? "
No.
You feel how you feel.
I have to ask though, HOW does your husband feel about all this? Do you not consider his feeling as all? Is it more important that you "snub" them back because they didn't/don'... (read in full...)
Am I too old to get a date
Q. Am I too old at 86 to get a date on site...
A. 22 February 2022: There probably are some senior dating sites. Maybe that is something to consider?... (read in full...)
I love my ex but also my so
Q. So I have been with my s/o for almost 10 years this May. I love him. I have a daughter with him, I have built a life with him. I met him when I was 15 years old. When I was in middle school - 9th grade I was on and off with a boyfriend. He was...
A. 22 February 2022: What do you need to do?
You need to wake up, OP
The fantasy of who your first BF COULD have become is just that FANTASY. The guy's been to prison. YOU could have been the partner of this felon and guess what? That "love" would have died fast a... (read in full...)
How do I tell my parents?
Q. When I was 21 years old, I got my girlfriend, Beth, pregnant. We decided to put the baby girl up for adoption since neither one of us was ready to be parents. We did an open adoption. Stephanie (my biological daughter's name) is 16 years old. Sh...
A. 22 February 2022: Just tell them.
You did what you and Beth thought would be BEST for the child. There is no shame in that. There is no shame in NOT being able to raise a child.
I agree you should have told them a long time ago, but that is kind of moot now, isn... (read in full...)
Should I set my dad up with one of my friends?
Q. One of my girl friends has fancied my Dad forever even when he was married hence making my Mom jealous. Now my Moms passed should I set them up? If so then how? ;-) ...
A. 21 February 2022: When weather permits host a BBQ, invite both and some other family and friends, let "nature" take its course.... (read in full...)
I'm afraid of the Covid vaccine
Q. I'm so scared, as my partner and parents have taken the vaccine. I wondered if anyone has had any luck convincing loved ones not to get boosters? If so, I would love to know how you were able to do that? I'm so scared of losing everyone I l...
A. 19 February 2022: I think you are going to have to trust that people will do what is best FOR them. That includes vaccines or boosters.
My 3 kids (17 and up) have all chosen to get the vaccine. None have gotten the boosters. My husband and I have not gotten t... (read in full...)
Should I set my dad up with one of my friends?
Q. One of my girl friends has fancied my Dad forever even when he was married hence making my Mom jealous. Now my Moms passed should I set them up? If so then how? ;-) ...
A. 19 February 2022: How long ago did your mom pass?
Has your dad mentioned dating again?
Have you ASKED your dad how he is doing with the loss of your mom?
Don't try and set them up.
Your dad is a WHOLE grown man and can find a date (when he is ready to... (read in full...)
My partner blames me for ruining his 30 year friendship
Q. Got a problem and could use some objective advice. I am in a long term relationship. My partner and I broke up about 3 years ago. I was feeling torn apart and upset after the break up and I became vindictive as a result. I cannot say I am proud of ...
A. 19 February 2022: " He blames me solely for the demise of that friendship but is that fair? "
Yes. It was ALL you. Own it. Stop making excuses.
However, Larry also decided to retaliate with anger towards you (which I totally understand, you might have felt ... (read in full...)
My wife is pregnant by another man
Q. I have a problem with my wife I do not know how to deal with. We have a happy open relationship with one child, we have been married six years and my wife has an African American boyfriend. She recently told me she is pregnant I know the baby i...
A. 18 February 2022: Well, in most states in the US you will be "presumed" the father and legally and financially responsible for your wife's child ren even if you didn't father them.
Have you asked her how she will explain to the "BF" and later to the child?
And ... (read in full...)
The barmaid has accused me of harassment
Q. I normally like to go down to a working mens club and play snooker with some of the members, sometimes they want to play other times they do not or can’t be bothered. anyway I’ll try not to make this long and try to make it sound as though it makes...
A. 18 February 2022: I think FA is right.
Also, since you are in the UK don't they have CCTV all over? Especially at a club? as FA pointed out, you can't prove a negative. So what would your complaint do?
... (read in full...)
I can't tell if he seriously likes me or not
Q. almost a month ago I met a guy at this bar and he ended up coming home with me, however, we just hooked up no sex. The next morning I woke up to his alarm and him cuddling me, even pulling me closer each time it went off and I took nothing from ...
A. 18 February 2022: Hi OP,
How about NEXT time you talk you suggest HE takes you out on an actual date?
I don't see how you can really get to know someone if all you do is hooking up.
Also, a guy who doesn't talk to you much but ASKS you over the SAME night ... (read in full...)
Thank you to everyone
Q. We've all been through a lot these past two years, some more than others. We've had the pandemic, lockdowns, toxic news, job losses and business closures, personal tragedies and the like. During this, many people have given their time and energy ...
A. 18 February 2022: Hey Anon,
I hope you get your surgery soon. I had a hysterectomy 4 year ago it made a huge difference. For one, I am no longer anemic and fatigued 24/7. The hormone patches are itchy and annoying but better than before.
I hope you find a docto... (read in full...)
Keen to hear your take on my weirdo neighbors!
Q. For anyone with an interest in psychology/human behavior, I'd LOVE to hear your opinions. I'm a sensitive person and usually have a pretty good gut instinct bout people. My new neighbors, a married 50's couple, put my stomach in knots! Firstl...
A. 17 February 2022:
"I'm always wracking my brains to try and figure out why they have a problem with me."
I don't think it's you, I think it's them. Or you were trying a little too hard to be the "nice neighbor" and it feel a bit much for them. Or they think y... (read in full...)
Thank you to everyone
Q. We've all been through a lot these past two years, some more than others. We've had the pandemic, lockdowns, toxic news, job losses and business closures, personal tragedies and the like. During this, many people have given their time and energy ...
A. 16 February 2022: *hugs*... (read in full...)
Cheating at work, narcissist, manipulator gas lighter.
Q. Met a guy at work, left my ex for him 5 years ago. guy at work had a reputation for being a womaniser. The whole time we were together never met his family, friends always hd separate christmases. End of 2018 he started another affair at work with ...
A. 16 February 2022: Savage FA .... (read in full...)
My boyfriend isn't very considerate toward me
Q. *I want to apologise for the length of this post, but details are needed to explain the situation as best as possible* I have been dating my boyfriend for exactly two years and it has been a generally happy relationship. Despite the fact we got ...
A. 16 February 2022: I think you either need to lower your expectations A LOT or you need to consider whether or not he is actually compatible with you long term.
The fact that he wanted YOU to go to a hotel room while HE was going to stay at some "new friend's... (read in full...)
Cheating at work, narcissist, manipulator gas lighter.
Q. Met a guy at work, left my ex for him 5 years ago. guy at work had a reputation for being a womaniser. The whole time we were together never met his family, friends always hd separate christmases. End of 2018 he started another affair at work with ...
A. 15 February 2022: You call him a "narcissist, manipulator & gas lighter."
So why stay?
STOP doing his homework, I mean WTF?! it's HIS responsibility and HIS job to do his own darn homework".
Secondly, he cheated on you and you retaliated by not only c... (read in full...)
Do I still love him? Should we be together?
Q. I love my boyfriend but lately things have been weird. I lived here in OREGON for a year and we met and fell in love. A love I’ve never ever had before. I moved to Washington in the summer and we said we’d be single but couldn’t leave each other so ...
A. 14 February 2022: OP,
It seems this LDR is not really working out. You need to focus on YOURSELF and your baby onboard. Work on being independent financially (if you are not right now) and create a stable environment for your child.
He seems to like the fantasy... (read in full...)
Could this work for me and the new man?
Q. When I was 20 I met my husband, he was 26, extremely popular, in the army and I was amazed that he was even interested in me. We started dating and things moved very quickly. We got engaged after three months of dating and eloped a few days lat...
A. 14 February 2022: Could it work for you and new guy?
Maybe. Or should I say it could work as a way for you to get the HECK away from your husband asap. But I would get the divorce first and NOT monkey branch into a new relationship until YOU are ACTUALLY out of t... (read in full...)
How do I approach him about the question he wants to ask me?
Q. Hey everyone, I need some help, this might be a long one sorry! So I’ve met this boy online (Tinder) probably about 6/7 weeks ago now / Start of November last year. We have been talking every single day since then. He’s stayed at mine multiple times ...
A. 14 February 2022: Congrats OP!
best of luck for the future!... (read in full...)
Fwb with my exs brother
Q. Hi dear Cupid readers, I'm in somewhat of a messy situation and really need some advice, the hard part is where to start. I guess I'll start at the beginning, so it started out that my on/off boyfriend and I were to move in with his brother as the ...
A. 12 February 2022: |I will echo the Anon poster|
"You want a lot more than just fwb. And it looks as if brother of ex just wants to use you for convenient sex."
100% this.
Also, you know this is messed up. You know this is NOT going to work out into some great... (read in full...)
Should I sue the work colleague for libel and the company for siding with his lies?
Q. due to lies and malicious gossip, I’m being investigated by work, all because I supposedly sent messages to follow female work colleagues which is simply not true. I have put this down to prejudice, as I have been single out by a single somebody in ...
A. 12 February 2022: Do you have proof that this guy said all this?
Call Citizen's advice and see if you can get some actual LEGAL advice on what to do. Libel can be hard to prosecute and hard to prove. As it means someone smearing your name and hindering you to make ... (read in full...)
I gave my homeless boyfriend my car to sleep in but now hes got some girl staying in it too. Do I take my car back?
Q. Im having a hard time with my bf whom is homeless at the time.he was living w me at my mothers but he wasnt trying to better himself to better our relationship .which upset my mother i was not willing to put myself out in the streets nd i did wat i ...
A. 12 February 2022: Well, spring is around the corner, tell him you want your car back by End of Feb or March - so he has 30-60 days to find a shelter or another place to stay.
Also, why do you call him your BF? When he is shacking up with someone else?
I think... (read in full...)
I have a good guy but I think I want out of the relationship
Q. I don't know what's wrong with me, my partner is good in a lot of ways. However I'm starting to feel like I want out of the relationship. I was a single mother before I met him and had reached a good level of independence. I feel in the relation...
A. 12 February 2022: OP,
You KNOW what you want and what you don't want. You want to be single and you DO NOT want him to take control of your life like he is trying to do.
Break it off and DO your own thing with your child.
He can be a good guy, a GREAT guy ev... (read in full...)
Why is my ex saying we did not have sex when I know we did
Q. I split up with my partner last year for a few months and despite messaging him he never responded. Fast forward I had a few drinks and actually don't remember leaving the pub I was in but I walked to his pub and all I can remember was standing in ...
A. 12 February 2022: I'm with YCNBS
"I am totally puzzled. Why are you ASKING him IF you had sex if you say you know you did?"
If you know you had sex, then you had sex.
He might deny it because he knows that YOU were TOO drunk to really consent. Or it was "bad"... (read in full...)
Did my boyfriends ex cross the line or am I overreacting?
Q. So my boyfriend’s ex keeps asking too many personal questions about our sex life, and it’s starting to bother me but I don’t know if I’m overreacting. Like one example is that she wants to know if he’s still a virgin, to which I responded, “I’m not ...
A. 12 February 2022: Well, at least your BF is on the same page as you.
I would still say, block her if you feel like it, you don't have to pretend to be her "friend" as she is definitely NOT wanting to be your friend.... (read in full...)
Did my boyfriends ex cross the line or am I overreacting?
Q. So my boyfriend’s ex keeps asking too many personal questions about our sex life, and it’s starting to bother me but I don’t know if I’m overreacting. Like one example is that she wants to know if he’s still a virgin, to which I responded, “I’m not ...
A. 10 February 2022: I agree with Kenny,
It IS NONE of her business.
I also think you need to talk to your BF about this girl and whether it's appropriate for her to dig around in his life, which SHE is no longer a part of.
Why are YOU talking to her?
Is sh... (read in full...)
Ashamed that I don't know who my Baby's Dad is
Q. I can’t come to terms with the fact that I don’t know who my Baby’s Dad is, even though I’ve accepted I'll never being able to find him. The worst thing is if I happened to walk by him in the street by chance I wouldn’t even realise it was him ...
A. 10 February 2022: There are no pictures from that night out? That seems strange for a group of 20-year old girls out on the town.
And to not remember him at all?
I guess that is all moot by now.
You could try and do an Ancestry DNA and have his DNA uploade... (read in full...)
After 2 years, my boyfriend ghosted me
Q. I don’t know what to do anymore. My boyfriend of over 2 years ghosted me! There were no major issues, as far as I was made aware. I work with families and I’m so gutted that some have asked me what’s wrong because I look so miserable and I have no ...
A. 8 February 2022: OP, he is a coward.
I'd say unless you cheated, stole from him, or did something heinous you don't deserve being ghosted. Only a coward would pull such a stunt.
I would probably contact the Police with the whole posting your flat for rent. T... (read in full...)
Should I pursue Trevor or let it go?
Q. So I've known this guy for 13 years, and I've been single for 12 years. Yes I've dated people but no actual boyfriend. Trevor is everything you want in a partner/husband - I can imagine having a family with him, I trust him completely, we argue so...
A. 8 February 2022: I have to agree with Kenny,
If you have known him this long and you have not been able to ACTUALLY have a relationship, then why is he an option now?
Sounds to me like your biological clock is ticking so loudly that you "dusted" him off... (read in full...)
How do I work through my dating anxiety?
Q. I have been on several dates with a great guy. He is such a gentleman, thoughtful, kind, and I really feel like I can be myself around him and he truly likes me for me. I thought this is what I always wanted! The problem? I have a dating history o...
A. 8 February 2022: Maybe try and stop overthinking this?
Go on dates, get to know him, keep sex out of it for now. Let him know you want to go slow, super slow. If he is not comfortable with that, say bye-bye. If he is, good.
Hooking up is easy, that is why ever... (read in full...)
Does my girlfriend have a crush on my friend?
Q. Me n my gf was at family party at the weekend we was having fun drinking and dancing etc when i went to the bathroom and came back my gf and my friend had their arms around each other side cuddling in an intimate way his arm was over her shoulder ...
A. 5 February 2022: OP, you saw what you saw.
They are BOTH lying to you, so where does that leave you?
Your friend is an arse your GF is full of crap. "She doesn't remember "how it happened"? What the actual F!
Your friend straight up LIED to you - "it never ... (read in full...)
Should I let her know I can't be friends with her?
Q. A part of this post is a continuation to a previous post of mine. The latter half is my current situation. Old Post (May 2020): I always had intense trust issues that lead me to stay away from relationships. In fact I've never been in a relati...
A. 5 February 2022: Perhaps you should seek some real counseling and work on your trust issues?
Unless you want a lonely life with no REAL friends or partners?
"I understand it can do irreparable damage to a person when the other person is not serious about it... (read in full...)
Which contraception is best and will least affect my body
Q. Hi just wondering which contraception is best and will least affect my body? I’m turning 16 next month and going to start having sex with my boyfriend when I am legal. He said he will use condoms every time but I just want to be extra safe and go on ...
A. 5 February 2022: TALK to your doctor.
We can't prescribe your birth control.
There are low estrogen pills, I have only heard negative things about implants but they might work for you. However, BEFORE you get birth control it is a GOOD thing to get an exam f... (read in full...)
My fwb doesn't want to have sex?
Q. So there’s a guy I met through my cousin and we have been talking for a month but under the understanding that we would be FWB. I’m a 30 year old female and he is a 28 year old male. He has only had one partner and I’m a Virgin and tbh I just feel ...
A. 5 February 2022: You can easily come off as desperate if you don't just hold our horses. " I have urges and needs lol." You say you are a virgin and if you are in your 30's... you have waited this long, you can wait a bit longer. What is the hurry?
It might al... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my boyfriend either change or break up?
Q. My boyfriend and myself have been having complications (on and off) for the duration of the 1 and half year relationship. I have sat my boyfriend down a few times to talk about how he isn't present when we talk. He will be playing video games or in ...
A. 3 February 2022: OP
You ask:
"So why wont he either do something about it, or suggest to move on? "
Obviously, it's hard to change. YOU can't change him by telling him what you expect should be done. That isn't realistic. And perhaps HE isn't wanting to cha... (read in full...)
How do I make moves on this older woman?
Q. My long time friend is getting married and asked me to be the best man in his wedding. He will be marrying in a few months after he graduates from university. He and I have been friends for a long time and have been attending the same university and ...
A. 3 February 2022: Dude!
She is your BEST friend's MOTHER IN LAW! Keep it in your pants.
I don't know what it is with guys who think all divorcees are looking for a younger man to just have some sex with! This is the second or third question this week with a simi... (read in full...)
Boyfriends dads wedding is making me feel resentful and bitter.
Q. So, this is a little bit of a long story, and I am very much aware I may be judged as selfish and attention seeking. I just needed to get this out of my system as I feel like it’s going to drive me mad, and friends tend to be more biased in a ...
A. 3 February 2022: EDIT
I do hate you cant go in and edit a post after you hit post.. so sorry.
I wrote:
"He needs to be responsible for you."
What It should have been this:
"He needs to be responsible for HIMSELF." Financially and otherwise. Peo... (read in full...)
Boyfriends dads wedding is making me feel resentful and bitter.
Q. So, this is a little bit of a long story, and I am very much aware I may be judged as selfish and attention seeking. I just needed to get this out of my system as I feel like it’s going to drive me mad, and friends tend to be more biased in a ...
A. 1 February 2022: Ah OP,
Se sense a lot of jealousy and perhaps a bit of insecurity from you. When I say insecurity, I mean in your relationship, not you "per se".
The jealousy is petty, OP. Who gets married when isn't a competition.
You say you love your... (read in full...)
How do I approach him about the question he wants to ask me?
Q. Hey everyone, I need some help, this might be a long one sorry! So I’ve met this boy online (Tinder) probably about 6/7 weeks ago now / Start of November last year. We have been talking every single day since then. He’s stayed at mine multiple times ...
A. 2 January 2022: Just let it take its natural cause.
When you get back and you both are testing negative for Covid then meet up and talk.
I'd hold back on asking him what question he has, LET him ask when HE is ready.
You want to know NOW. I get that but... (read in full...)
| *oneypie's friends
These are mutual friends, so *oneypie has
added them and they have added *oneypie!
|
