A
female
age
22-25,
*ueenCupcake
writes:So my boyfriend’s ex keeps asking too many personal questions about our sex life, and it’s starting to bother me but I don’t know if I’m overreacting. Like one example is that she wants to know if he’s still a virgin, to which I responded, “I’m not going into our sex life with you, or his virginity status”, to which she said she’d message him and ask him herself. I don’t know if it’s just me, but why is our sex life or whether he’s still a virgin or not any of her business? I did call her out on it and told her that I thought it was kind of inappropriate, but because there were others around, I didn’t want to make a scene of it. I feel kind of bad, but at the same time, I just find it weird, and don’t think it’s any of her business. Am I overreacting? She said she’s still going to ask him anyway. I don’t want to make a big deal out of it, because I don’t want to seem like the type to get mad at stuff, and I have no issue with him having female friends, even if they were together at one point, but I just feel like she crossed a line?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2022): Just fixed a typo! Sorry!
"I agree with Honeypie. I think you should both block her, and you should let everything she says roll [off] your backs."
The best way to fight drama and rumors is to ignore the source! They lose their power and influence when they have no audience, and get no feedback. It's hard to do, and they're counting on you giving-in to go for the bait. Disappoint her!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2022): I agree with Honeypie. I think you should both block her, and you should let everything she says roll of your backs. She is jealous, and a little obsessed about your relationship. It's a phase she's going through. Some people can't handle seeing someone they used to be with happy with someone else. It's part of life, and you have to expect it.
I wish you and your boyfriend the best!
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (12 February 2022):
 Well, at least your BF is on the same page as you.
I would still say, block her if you feel like it, you don't have to pretend to be her "friend" as she is definitely NOT wanting to be your friend.
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A
female
reader, QueenCupcake +, writes (12 February 2022):
QueenCupcake is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hi all
Thank you for your answers.
I told him she was going to ask him, and when she did, he told her he wasn’t comfortable answering those kinds of questions.
Since then, we’ve kind of been avoiding her.
@Honeypie, no she’s not really my friend, but she’s his friend. We don’t really talk to her much, that time when the whole instance happened was the first time in months.
But yeah, thankfully, the situation seems to have resolved itself. Thank you all again! Have a good weekend!
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A
female
reader, QueenCupcake +, writes (12 February 2022):
QueenCupcake is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi all
Thank you for your answers.
I told him she was going to ask him, and when she did, he told her he wasn’t comfortable answering those kinds of questions.
Since then, we’ve kind of been avoiding her.
@Honeypie, no she’s not really my friend, but she’s his friend. We don’t really talk to her much, that time when the whole instance happened was the first time in months.
But yeah, thankfully, the situation seems to have resolved itself. Thank you all again! Have a good weekend!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2022): Sorry about the typos:
"Somehow being a virgin is supposed be a secret that she has the power to expose; [and] thinks getting into your business will set you off."
"[Her] point was to say something very provocative and personal. Which she thought would embarrass him; and she also thought you'd go for the bait, and answer whether you two are having sex."
"If and all this will lead to a dramatic firestorm."
I meant to say:
"If you had answered "yes;" all this would have lead to a dramatic firestorm."
"[It's] nothing more than a mean-girl hissy-fit."
I apologize for so many typos! I type extremely fast, but we don't have an editing option on the site.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2022): The question was a loaded-question. It's meant to cause you to become offended and emotional; and run back to tell your boyfriend. Somehow being a virgin is supposed be a secret that she has the power to expose; at thinks getting into your business will set you off.
There's still an echo in the room. IT'S NONE OF HER BUSINESS!
Unless she is a mutual-friend, you and she shouldn't even be in-contact with each-other. If you and he started dating while or shortly after they were together; this young-lady has a bone to pick with the both of you. She wants to cause a rift. He'll be embarrassed because he may have never told you he was a virgin. She thought she was letting the cat out of the bag. If he wasn't anymore, that would only be gasoline on the fire knowing you're the first. Talk about hell having no fury like a woman scorned!
He point was to say something very provocative and personal; which she thought would embarrass him, and she also thought you'd go for the bait and answer whether you two are having sex.
If and all this will lead to a dramatic firestorm. When jealousy is in the mix, and the wrong people have access to each-other; there will be unnecessary disagreements and interactions that lead to nothing more than more drama.
This is no big deal. Is nothing more than a mean-girl hissy-fit.
Stay calm. Inform your boyfriend that his ex is trying to provoke you and asking personal questions; assuring him that you didn't answer, but there seems to be some unfinished business.
Tell him you are going to block her from all your social media accounts, block her from your phone, and will avoid all contact with her. You can't tell him what to do, but knowing she is trying cause trouble, he should do the same.
She can stand and shout virgin from the rooftops; but there's no-way to really prove a guy is a virgin, if the purpose of publicizing it is meant to embarrass him. If you got the cherry, it was yours to pick! She can take her dolls and dishes to another tea party!
Whether he is or isn't, is between the two of you; and she is "X-ed" out of this equation.
Example:
A+B+(x)=2; therefore A=1(you), B=1x1(boyfriend), and (x)=0(her)!
No contact, no drama.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2022): I am not sure why you are this close to his ex? I suggest you both distance yourselves from her, and this way you do not have to deal with all the problems that come with her coming between you and your boyfriend. It seems she is still interested in him, and will do whatever she can to break you up. If you let her.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 February 2022):
I agree with Kenny,
It IS NONE of her business.
I also think you need to talk to your BF about this girl and whether it's appropriate for her to dig around in his life, which SHE is no longer a part of.
Why are YOU talking to her?
Is she your friend too? And you are dating HER ex?
Regardless of ANYTHING, his and your sex life is NONE of her business. She is no longer his GF, it's no longer any of her business.
I think you AND your BF need to distance yourself from her. And TALK to each other on how to best do it.
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male
reader, kenny +, writes (10 February 2022):
 I don't think that you are over reacting at all, quite the opposite. She is very rude asking this to you, it is absolutely none of her business, and she knows it.
You did the right thing in shutting her down, telling her your not going into any of your sex life with her was the right things to do, she needs to butt out.
I would be careful of her if i was you, it seems to me that she could cause quite a lot of complications between you and your boyfriend.
She said she will ask him, she could then come back to you and tell you he divulged everything about your sex life to her, when he did no such thing. But this will get your back up and you will go marching off to your partner demanding answers.
If i was you i would go to your boyfriend and put him in the picture of what happened and what she intends to ask him. I could see this escalating if you don't.
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