A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I love my boyfriend but lately things have been weird. I lived here in OREGON for a year and we met and fell in love. A love I’ve never ever had before. I moved to Washington in the summer and we said we’d be single but couldn’t leave each other so we stayed together and visited each other and the love was amazing and real and passionate. I then moved to California and he wasn’t too thrilled because I’m going to school there and I guess it meant less time but we were still amazing. Now I know we aren’t in that honeymoon phase anymore but I can’t help feel like things are different. We recently had 6 weeks together. I stayed with him. It had its ups and downs but he was distant and closed off and kinda mean. It really upset me because he was acting so weird. Now yes I was pregnant. So maybe my emotions were all over the place and didn’t know it. But it turned me off a lot. Then he was getting annoyed easily. Always calling me ridiculous and difficult and idk maybe I was being that way but I also feel like I’ve always been me. I’ve never changed. After the 6 weeks I went home we had some talks and he told me not to worry that he loved me. He knew I was pregnant so that’s a WHOLE DIFFERENT subject but he was reassuring me. Then I found out he hung out with his ex until 2 am. He said he didn’t do anything. Technically he told me but I had his location so I knew he was somewhere weird and then he admitted it to me the next morning. Didn’t even text me goodnight :( I’m back here in OREGON but I feel so turned off. He’s been so sweet to me and acting like he used to. But idk. To little too late kinda thing. Am I over reacting? Am I being too harsh? And I’m pregnant so that changes everything. What do I do? I’d thrive on my own. I’d feel seen and happy and not overthink every two minutes. I tried to tell him how I felt today and his mood changed and he told me I was being difficult. Idk. I love him but I love me more .
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 February 2022):
 OP,
It seems this LDR is not really working out. You need to focus on YOURSELF and your baby onboard. Work on being independent financially (if you are not right now) and create a stable environment for your child.
He seems to like the fantasy of your LDR, but he also wants "someone" to BE there with him and this seems to be his ex-gf who probably ISN'T an ex.
Not sure why you would have a child with someone you are not living with or even have a stable relationship (and yes, a LRD is a relationship but you don't know how stable it is, because you are not knowing just how well you mesh. You spend 6 weeks and it didn't go well, so HOW do you think it would work long term?
However, You ARE pregnant. So that NEEDS to be your priority, not him, or what HE might be doing.
Don't do the "pick-me" dance.
You are even doubting if you really love him. THAT is your "gut" telling you that this (this relationship) is not what you want. Could it be pregnancy hormones? Nah, they don't make a partner go visit an ex-gf in the middle of the night. Or treat you like crap.
Does it mean it's doomed? Who knows? You will have to have a long talk with him and be open and honest about your expectations, wants, and needs, and listen to HIS as well.
And if you can't or won't WANT to try and make it work, at least make sure you ask him to co-parent with you. There are apps that can help you co-parent without being all up in each other's lives. And when the little one is born, sue for child support, not for you but for the little one.
A
male
reader, Cheesesticks27 +, writes (14 February 2022):
hi i’m cheesesticks27’s girl. personally, i think you should end things with him. it seems to me that you would be happier without him than with him. what’s the point in staying with him if you’re happier and stress free without him. regardless of whether he did something with his ex or not there is absolutely no reason he should be hanging out with her anyways. the fact that he calls you difficult when you try to communicate your feelings to him instead of him trying to understand where you’re coming from is a HELLA red flag. do yourself a favor and leave now before it’s too late. hope this helps :)
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