A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:almost a month ago I met a guy at this bar and he ended up coming home with me, however, we just hooked up no sex. The next morning I woke up to his alarm and him cuddling me, even pulling me closer each time it went off and I took nothing from this. Totally prepared to add this ti the list of one night stands he starts asking me questions and talking about people i know that he knows, ans as he's leaving out he asks for my number. A week later and nothing. Somehow he came up on my snapchat quick add and I figured what the heck just see if he adds you back, which he did and even snapped me instantly after adding me even inviting me to the gig he was at but I couldn't come so I told him next one but come over after, in which he proceeds to invite to his. When i get there he actually has friends spending the week in his living room. the next morning we slept in and he mentions being hungry but i wasnt sure it was a suggestion so i mentioned having work and got ready to leave where we told me to text when i got home, which i do and no response. a week passes again with no communication but we end up at the same bar again and he comes up and speaks even asking if i wanted to come with him to get pizza. After he walks with me and my friends to drop them off before heading to his where we have a 2 hr conversation before he asks if i was "ready for bed" where we talked for another hour before hooking up. the next morning he gives me hoodie and says to just bring it back next time but its been a week and no response. I'm so confused if this guy likes me or not and if he's just shy or confused too and I should reach out. someoen please help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2022): I think you've come across as a bit too fast and easy.
This is great for his male ego but it gives him absolutely nothing to work towards.
You meet in a bar and end up going to yours.
Even if there was no sex you were behaving 'in coupledom!'
His alarm was ringing and he was snuggling you.
He was trying to keep his potential booty call on the hook while you were enjoying your little bit of coupledom.
Sadly this has not improved.
He snaps his fingers and you arrive at his for a blokes night in!
Well technically you could have called a cab and swanned out but in fact you stayed and did the deed!
Even if there was no sex it was a bizarre setup.
Anyway you sound ok but it's not a good beginning and I don't know if you will get any kind of relationship out of him!
Currently your pining your hopes on him wanting his hoodie returned.
Why not make him work for that at least and step back a bit so that you can see if he is prepared to come forwards to you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2022): This silly little dance you two are doing is called being non-committal. You both fear losing your freedom and independence; and you're afraid to acknowledge that you're growing on each-other.
You don't want to acknowledge that you like him; because you're afraid he doesn't like you as much. He doesn't respond to texts or messages; because he doesn't want you to think you're already boyfriend & girlfriend just because of a couple of "hookups."
When you two stop doing the non-committal polka, somebody has got to say, " I'm in-like with you, and want to see where this is really going." Tell him his long silences after your messages make you uncomfortable; and you don't really like this iffy-situation you've both got going-on. Stop ending-up in his bed with a mind full of questions!!! Say what's on your mind out-loud! Even if he gets spooked.
You will become a friend with benefits, if you don't tell this guy where YOU'RE coming from; instead of relying on him to re-invite you to sleepovers, and exchanging a few words in-passing the morning after. He's either waiting-out the hoochie, or he likes you. Making-out is the prelude to full-on sex. He's apparently very patient.
Poop, or get-off the pot you two!!! BTW, "hooking-up" is construed as having sex; "making-out" is just canoodling and kissing. You can "hook-up" with a friend, meaning meet-up and hangout; but when you're in somebody's bed, hooking-up is sex!
You'll get what you ask for, or you'll play the game on his terms and by his game rules. Use your words!
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (18 February 2022):
 I agree with Honeypie, i think that you both suck at communication.
I think that if no one steps up and does something then you are going to keep going through the motions, just hooking up and nothing actually progressing.
It is strange not to respond to you, everyone in this day and age attached to their body's, especially at your age so there is no reason for him to not respond to you. Just bear this in mind, because he could be a game player. I'm not saying that he is, just to watch out for this.
Put it out there and ask him out on a date, see what his reaction is. If he becomes flaky and unresponsive then don't persue him anymore.
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A
female
reader, QueenCupcake +, writes (18 February 2022):
 Maybe you should just ask him what his deal is? Find out what he wants from this bond you both have seemed to established.
I agree with HoneyPie c ask him out on a date.
Also, might sound silly, but try getting in touch with him on a different platform. Might just be a case of him seldom using the one you contact him on
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 February 2022):
 Hi OP,
How about NEXT time you talk you suggest HE takes you out on an actual date?
I don't see how you can really get to know someone if all you do is hooking up.
Also, a guy who doesn't talk to you much but ASKS you over the SAME night doesn't seem like a guy who is all that invested in getting to know you, besides "getting to know you in a biblical sense".
You both suck at communication. You have no idea if he is looking for something casual or a GF. And I don't think he has any idea what you are hoping or looking for either.
You are basically strangers who "hook up".
IS that what you want?
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