A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I don’t know what to do anymore. My boyfriend of over 2 years ghosted me! There were no major issues, as far as I was made aware. I work with families and I’m so gutted that some have asked me what’s wrong because I look so miserable and I have no energy. It’s embarrassing! I’m supposed to be a support to my clients and not the other way around. Then my ex’s friend posted my home for rent and I had multiple people show up. One man was very aggressive towards me and I was terrified. Then, this friend’s wife reached out to me on social media to tell me to move on. I figured out where they live and made the connections it was her husband that posted my home for rent because the rental app says what town the post was made in. I also saw the fake screen name was similar to the one he used on Instagram. I am in shock at all of this. My ex seemed like such a mature, stand up man. Now I come to see he is a coward. I feel absolutely broken-hearted, embarrassed, just horrible. I can’t sleep and barely eat. He was the one who would discuss marriage. I feel like I badly wasted my time. I did not see any of this coming. I see know its better that it’s over but it still hurts me
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female
reader, QueenCupcake +, writes (9 February 2022):
 I think the biggest concern here is the fact that he invaded your privacy and put you in harms way. That needs to be reported!
You’re absolutely right, he is definitely a coward and a lunatic.
As difficult as this sounds, you have to stop revolving your whole life around him; he tried to take your home, don’t let him try to take your career away from you as well. He does not deserve that satisfaction.
In this case, you will have to fake it ‘til you make it.
Block him and all his other little minions. Change your number.
As Honeypie said, the trash had taken itself out already. Don’t listen or fall for any of his bullshit again. There’s no excuse for this kind of behaviour. If he can put your life at risk that easily, then he never loved you in the first place, and he’s never going to.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2022): Try to separate your personal-life from your work. It's unprofessional to allow private issues to decrease the quality in service offered to those who are entrusting their lives, or dependent on our help and expertise. If clients have to ask you what's wrong with you, you shouldn't be there!
I am the poster-child when it comes to having been blindsided and dumped. It's how I ended-up here at DC. I had the typical emotional-reactions to it, I'm human. No argument, no fight, nothing! I wasn't ghosted, just told I deserve better. I do, and I found it too! There is a point that you must stop, and take back the control people hold over your emotions and thought-processes. Fight the psychological-paralysis you find enveloping and stifling you; just bust out of it!!! You don't become their victim and just collapse. You have to dig deep-down into your inner-self; and tap into that strength-reserve put there for your self-preservation. Say your prayers to God, and ask for strength and answers!
Now about that attack and encroachment on your privacy, and being placed in harm's way. That deserves to be reported to law enforcement. Save all the solid or documented-evidence you have; that identifies the sender or perpetrator behind disclosing your home address and subjecting you to possible danger. That was serious! Strangers were given your address without your permission! That is against all policies on any legitimate website; and should be immediately and effectively reported to each and every site on-which it occurred. Obviously, you should block all access to your internet accounts to only your preferred-contacts; and notify all your contacts not to disclose any of your personal and private-information without your permission. I would still place it on record with law enforcement what happened in full-detail; because it may not be the last and only stunt your ex's friend pulls. He deserves to be prosecuted, and/or sued, for disclosing your private information. Talk to a lawyer! Don't delete anything!!! I wouldn't let him getaway with that!
Meanwhile, keep your distance and have no further contact with your ex, or any of his friends. Don't even trust your mutual-friends; because people like to choose sides, and enjoy the drama and intrigue. Even if it's none of their business.
His ghosting you is the least of your problems. He let his friend do his dirty-work, by placing you in harm's way, and exposing your actual home address...ON LINE!!! THAT IS DEPLORABLE AND CRIMINAL! Make sure you have alerted each of your subscribed websites about what happened; and help them to identify the perpetrator in every way LEGALLY possible. I'd block each and every contact, or mutual-friend, you share between you and your ex. He may not pull the nasty stunts himself; but may encourage others to do his dirty-work because they have access.
You've been ghosted, and surely blocked, to keep YOU from contacting HIM! Make it just as difficult for him, or his friends, to have access to you online. Also let them know there will be legal consequences by actually filing a complaint with the police. Ask for a female-officer, if you can, to report your complaint. It's not guaranteed, but you're more likely to get more empathy, and taken seriously; and not written-off as some "chick with a boyfriend-problem." It's worse than that! You were exposed and made vulnerable to harm!!! If strangers show-up at your house, and you feel unsafe, call the police! Do not speak to them, or have any exchanges with them. Take a pic if you can; for evidence, and for your own safety. Even if the post has been removed, it's still sitting there in someone's search history or internet files.
Keep it together, my dear. I know this is rough, having been dumped without any apparent reason or explanation myself; but let the things he has done empower you, not destroy you.
Don't surrender your feelings and emotions to his control, or to any man. You are only human, and can't help but feel humiliation and pain in such a situation. Yet, you have to be the captain of your fate; and you can't go to pieces when people betray your trust, or try to destroy you. Fight with all your might!
You must persevere; because a narcissist, or an opportunist, only gets pleasure in seeing and knowing he or she can make you suffer at their will. That was a dirty underhanded-trick the friend pulled, and borders on criminal.
The guy is a psychopath!!! Who would conceive the sick idea to do something like that?!!!
Be strong, my dear. Fake-it, until you make it a reality. Your clients deserve your best, don't let them down. If you're not yourself, take time-off to pull yourself together. You must practice what you preach; otherwise your counseling to others, is all talk and no substance. You are human, but you also have the tools to survive. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger; and life presents these kinds of tests for that very purpose.
God bless and be with you. May He comfort you, give you strength, and help you find your peace. You will find love again, and God will protect you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2022): I agree with honeypie that you should report the house listing thing to the police.
At best it is harassment.
And you could get the police to
do a 'safe and well' check up on him because the only other option is that they want you out of the way for a reason!
It is way over and above just ghosting when people behave so vindictively to you so the least you could do is drop their names to the police and be sure to consider it 'malicous communication'.
Maybe he isn't a coward. Maybe they are just vindictive people and they bumped him on the head and so on.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (8 February 2022):
 OP, he is a coward.
I'd say unless you cheated, stole from him, or did something heinous you don't deserve being ghosted. Only a coward would pull such a stunt.
I would probably contact the Police with the whole posting your flat for rent. They might not be able to do much, but you will have a report created in case there is more harassment.
"Then, this friend’s wife reached out to me on social media to tell me to move on."
BLOCK this cow, remove her and BLOCK her account, unfollow ANYONE who are his friends. Set your socials to private, lock them down.
And while I get it is a nice outlet to VENT about relationship woes online, I'd probably stop. Don't let HIM know you are hurting.
Lastly, I can understand it hurts. No one likes to be rejected. You are going to have to accept the fact that HE wasn't as into YOU and the relationship as YOU were into him and the relationship.
You actually dodged a bullet here OP. You are not BOUND to a man who can treat you this way. I know it might not FEEL like a "blessing: right now, but it IS one.
"There were no major issues, as far as I was made aware."
Here is where I think you are perhaps a little "wrong" there might have been things you ignored, things he did - like pay less attention, been gone at odd hours. Etc. My guess is he was either cheating on you or talking a LOT of smack about you because he wanted out. This is NOT a great guy, OP
In short, OP the TRASH took itself out. Time to brush yourself off and focus on what's important in life.
And IF he shows up all "remorseful" later on, Don't get back together. Or he will do this again.
Chin up, YOU don't deserve being treated like this EVER.
BLOCK, REMOVE all his negative friends and him from your life.
Change your number (if need be) and MOVE on, YOU can do it.
He isn't the good man you thought he was.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2022): There is such a thing as breaking up and going your separate ways but what you described just sounds plain spiteful.
I am assuming that there was more to your ex-partners circumstances than you were aware of.
Maybe a blast from the past has come back into his life.
I can't help but think that your ex love-bombed you to start with. And he has picked the least accountable way possible to end the relationship with you.
Presumably he has shared his most unfortunate circumstances with some of your friends.
Perhaps the guy has been incarcerated and no one wants to tell you.
It clearly indicates that more was going on than you were aware of.
So now is the time to let him go.
He probably will pop up again trying to get back into your life but I hope you keep the door firmly shut.
It all sounds like everything you don't need.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (8 February 2022):
 I know its hard, break ups are never easy for anyone but all i can say is that things will get easier, time is the healer of all things.
You will get over this, and you will come back stronger and more determined, and see what a jerk he really is.
You say he seemed like such a mature stand up man, now you can see that that was all BS, and now you see that he is a coward.
Pick yourself up, dust yourself down, hold your head up high, some deep breaths and move on. Think yourself lucky you found out he was a weak coward now, and that maybe you dodged a bullet there.
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