Is it over before it even really got started?
Q. I was seeing a male friend. (a) It was slowly progressing friendship. I began talking to another male friend, (B) (b) began to spread rumors about himself and me that we were engaging in sex. That wasn’t true at all. However my first male fr...
A. 7 December 2021: Yep cut them both off - block access to your and their social media.
Don't stay "friends" with either.
Move on.
No one here can read their minds and you have no idea what kind of lies A AND/OR B is telling each other about you. And rea... (read in full...)
Can I save my marriage?
Q. Hello, So i got married in August 2021. I have been questioning the marriage/relationship for the last three months. So in September me and my partner decided to break up because both of us said we didnt think we were happy anymore. I left th...
A. 20 November 2021: OP, having had a failed marriage happens. It will NOT change WHO you are.
I think you need to sit down with him and ask, WHAT do you want and how do you think we can get there? MAKE him participate. (or offer him a role in making the choice, ... (read in full...)
Can I save my marriage?
Q. Hello, So i got married in August 2021. I have been questioning the marriage/relationship for the last three months. So in September me and my partner decided to break up because both of us said we didnt think we were happy anymore. I left th...
A. 20 November 2021: You two have known each other for 8 years before marriage, did you ever live together (just the two of you) before the wedding?
If not, why not?
And why are two people in their late 20's still living with a set of parents? Saving up for a ... (read in full...)
Does God notify all women that I am gay
Q. I asked a friend from school who I’ve know for many years about a lad who was really strange and asked what his name was, as I remember certain things. he didn’t seem to know if he was gay or not and he can’t think why he came to mine or what the ...
A. 19 November 2021: I never heard that "myth".
And while I have a fairly decent "gaydar" - I have been wrong a few times too.
No one knows your sexual preference by a glance. And no one is notified of such.
I agree with WiseOwle, this has to be a joke post. ... (read in full...)
Is My girlfriend taking me for a fool?
Q. Hi guys, you’ll have to bear with me on this one. It’s complicated to say the least. Just before Christmas last year my girlfriend cheated on me with another man. She aborted his baby as well just to add to the mess. I found out back in September ...
A. 19 November 2021: OP, I'm so sorry you are in this position.
My advice is going to be short.
END it with her.
Why? You may ask?
Because she is still lying to you. She didn't come clean with you for 10!! months and ONLY came clean when forced to do so.... (read in full...)
Soap star won't acknowledge Facebook message
Q. I’m friends with a soap star on facebook, I sent her a friend request as a joke and it backfired on me as she accepted the request. I’ve tried to talk to her a few times. she doesn’t seem to respond and only sees messages I send and doesn’t reply. ...
A. 19 November 2021: She isn't your friend. You aren't her friend.
You are just another fan and another number and "follower" for her. Adding you to her Facebook means nothing. You are still a stranger to her. And probably always will be. And that is OK. You don't kn... (read in full...)
Long distance relationship and I can't keep the closeness feeling
Q. This is so obvious a problem, that I should know how to deal, but Covid and all the isolation, etc. has so blunted my feelings that I'd like to ask for help. Basically, my boyfriend has been working 1,000 miles away for several years no...
A. 19 November 2021: Yep, I agree with the gentlemen here,
You know your LDR is over. Seems like HE has settled THERE and you are stuck where you are at and obviously, like it where you are.
End it with your LDR BF. You are old enough to know that YOU want more th... (read in full...)
Why did she act this way? A boyfriend back home?
Q. Hi everyone I just wonder what people think about a situation I've found myself in as my instincts are telling me one thing and I'd just like to know if anyone comes to the same conclusion. I met a girl a few months ago, we got along really ...
A. 19 November 2021: For one, I think trying to have a casual fling with someone you would really want to date, is a waste of time. YOUR time.
When you know they are only going to be in your neck of the woods for less than a year, what's the point?
Secondly, she... (read in full...)
I helped my family but now they won't help me
Q. Years ago my parents were short on money and i helped them out and paid £500 for washing machine and dishwasher and various things from amazon over the years cds, computer games, chargers, food hampers, hair accessories, food vouchers lots of ...
A. 19 November 2021: I'm so sorry,
I think they were always selfish, you just didn't see it up close.
My guess is they really can't afford to help you. But instead of telling you that, they create this drama.
Also, if you HAD given money away to strangers, so wh... (read in full...)
Why does it make me horny thinking about my girlfriend having sex with another man?
Q. Why do I get so horny thinking about my girlfriend being pleased by another guy...
A. 19 November 2021: I'm guessing that the fantasy of it being a "porno" on your head is what makes it hot for you. Fantasy is very different from reality.
While cuckolding is a thing, I don't think most men who like the fantasy of it, would actually enjoy it in reali... (read in full...)
I am just not interested in my husband any more
Q. I am married and for whatever reason I am no longer sexual involved with my husband. Lately I’ve been turned off by him and I’ve been stressed out by him. Previously I loved having sex with him on a daily basis. He he usually turned me down and ...
A. 16 November 2021: So you made a mistake in choosing your partner. It happens. Unfortunately, you got married to him instead of just living together. Again, it happens.
Sounds like you weren't really ready to be a step-parent either. It's OK to end a marriage... (read in full...)
How to deal with uncomfortable personal questions at work?
Q. I am asking for further guidance on a work related situ. I am a 30 year old female who has recently started a new job in the health service, I have an approachable management team. I am saving up to move out of parents household and I desire t...
A. 15 November 2021: You have several choices here.
1. you can answer honestly.
2. you can tell them you prefer to keep your private life, private. You can just shrug.
3. You can be blunt and tell them:" that is a rather personal question and not really ... (read in full...)
My wife's obsession over bills and no sex has lead me to having an affair
Q. I'm a 33 year old man who's been married for 5 years. I am writing in embarrassed but I caused the problem and don't know how to get out. I've been having an affair with a 24-year-old woman since September and this has all been because of my ...
A. 15 November 2021: No, no no.
YOUR actions are NOT your wife's doing NOR her responsibility. She didn't MAKE you go cheat. You made that choice.
OWN your actions. Stop being a spineless shit. (sorry if that is too blunt)
Your wife worries (in excess, acco... (read in full...)
How can we help our daughter with dating?
Q. My daughter is 16, and she came out as lesbian during the pandemic to us, in May 2020 when she was 15. We've no issue with her sexuality. What the issue we feel we're struggling to help her with is finding a partner, as she's asked us for hel...
A. 15 November 2021: I agree with Kenny,
She IS only 16, there is no rush to "find her a partner".
As for her "chosen labels" I wouldn't worry. It's a thing. Those may change over time. They may not. To be frank, I think they are ridiculous. (the labels) I have 3... (read in full...)
I am insecure about mty partner still being close to 2 exs
Q. How can you tell if you're seeing red flags, or you're just blowing things out of proportion because you're scared... and you've doubted yourself from the very start of your relationship? I've been insecure in my relationship (of approx 2 years a...
A. 15 November 2021: OP, I will try and answer all the points you brought up, one by one. It might be long, I also apologize in advance.
1. The "friends with exes". Some people hold on to exes to have back-ups. Some don't want THEM to move on, some actually believe ... (read in full...)
My wife won't go topless at a nude brach
Q. my wife and I have been to nude beaches and she likes looking at nude men and I would like her to take herr top off but she refuses...I don't understand why...
A. 15 November 2021: She is in her 50's, so she probably isn't enthused about showing off her boobs as much as she might have wanted in her 20's.
Her body, her choice. You don't have to "understand" why, you just have to respect her wishes. Not hard.... (read in full...)
How can I tell if a married man has feelings foe me?
Q. dear cupid, How can I tell if a married man has feelings for me or is just being kind and caring to a lonely, single, bereaved woman? We started chatting a year ago and are the same age. He "tested the waters" with me and I said no because ...
A. 15 November 2021: I think you are playing with fire.
I don't think he CAN be your friend. If he truly wanted you to be friends he would make a point of introducing you to his wife. Because THAT is what a decent spouse does.
Might be better to just cut him off... (read in full...)
I am ashamed to admit that I am in an abusive relationship
Q. I'm ashamed to be in an abusive relationship. It's less the abuse and more keeping the secret that is killing me slowly. I feel that even if I managed to make up my mind and leave, I would wilt under the reactions of my family. For the past couple ...
A. 15 November 2021: Don't beat yourself up, just do what is right for YOU and get out.
Your family might think all kinds of things but you can't control that, nor can you control your partner.
You can read their minds either OP. So while you may think they don't... (read in full...)
I am just not interested in my husband any more
Q. I am married and for whatever reason I am no longer sexual involved with my husband. Lately I’ve been turned off by him and I’ve been stressed out by him. Previously I loved having sex with him on a daily basis. He he usually turned me down and ...
A. 12 November 2021: I agree, there is more to this than you describe. You didn't just wake up one morning and go, Oh, I'm not feeling this anymore. Usually, there is a "trigger" or event that led to this.
Can you pinpoint when it started and what was going on in yo... (read in full...)
I'm in a relationship but interested in someone else for quite a while. What do I do?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 7 years now, however 3 years ago I signed up to some dating sites and on one I met this woman who lives near by, we talked a bit - obviously me hiding my relationship, and actually met a few times. There was a real ...
A. 12 November 2021: If the "dating site woman" is smart she will not touch you with a 50-foot pole.
It's NOT the "talking" with the "dating site woman" that is making you unhappy, you already WERE unhappy in your relationship.
You should have left your GF 3 y... (read in full...)
My fiance still puts his ex wife as number 1
Q. So my fiance and I have had a bumpy relationship. When we first got together like officially, his ex wife didn't want to let go and accept he didn't want their relationship anymore. Things got out of control so we took a break for a year, with ...
A. 11 November 2021: In no particular order...
Issue 1:
His ex has absolutely no need to be around your kid and I would put my foot down about it. This would be "a hill to die on" for me. A deal breaker.
Issue 2:
She yells jump and he starts jumping asking ho... (read in full...)
Do I get back together with my ex?
Q. Me and my ex broke up at the beginning of this year. We weren't sleeping together, we were arguing and we just couldn't agree on anything. After lockdown it was a slow build up that tore us apart. Some really bad arguements happened and we really ...
A. 11 November 2021: I think you need to examine WHY the two of you really broke up. And then work on "your part" in that. So you will have learned what not to do next time.
Going back to a relationship that fell apart is rarely a good idea. For most people "fixing"... (read in full...)
I want to meet the guy who saved my life
Q. I really want to meet up with the guy who saved my life last year but he’s really reluctant and I don’t know why. Is he just shy? Most of all I just want to say thank you to him in person but I have to confess I do have more intentions as well, ...
A. 11 November 2021: I think you need to just respect his wishes.
You don't need to see him to get "closure" you just want it (and I don't blame you).
He saved your life, he doesn't "owe" you to meet him in person. You have thanked him and he accepted your th... (read in full...)
He only asked if I wanted a drink but I was horrible to him
Q. I feel really guilty because I was pretty horrible to a guy who gets the same bus as me every day after work. I’d gotten the feeling that he liked me as he’d give me all these glances as we stood at opposite ends of the bus stop each time and then ...
A. 11 November 2021: Wow, I bet HE is happy that he doesn't have to talk to you again. I mean seriously?!
Yes, you should bite the bullet and apologize. I mean WTAF!
He wasn't being slimy or rude to you he just asked you out. And you shat all over him.
"He didn... (read in full...)
I am afraid of staying emotionally attached to this man
Q. Hi Folks, So I met this guy like 5 months back. We hit it off really well and have been dating seriously ever since. Both our families underwent a lot of crisis post our meeting. We have been for one another through all this. But post these ...
A. 11 November 2021:
"when I voiced my concerns, he vehemently said that there is no need to have any concern and that he is interested in me."
So he basically said that he is disregarding your feelings, your needs, and your concerns.
I think you need to t... (read in full...)
Did I paint myself into a corner?
Q. couple of years ago I did some experimentation and regret what I did. confessed to my parents about it, which I shouldn’t have and it didn’t go down well. I’m worried I’ve gayed myself permanently and the attraction the females have had for me has ...
A. 11 November 2021: No woman whom you haven't told that you have had a sexual experience with men, won't automatically know that you have had those. If you wank around with your head down because you carry some sense of "shame" or whatever it is you are feeling it's ... (read in full...)
Why does he want to be friends after the affair?
Q. I had an affair that was emotional for years and then physical for months. I ended it pretty quickly knowing how wrong it was - even leaving my job to get away from him all together. For the past couple of years he has continued to reach out, which ...
A. 8 November 2021: If you want your marriage to work, TELL him ONCE and ONCE only to STOP contacting you OR you will tell his wife.
And then you BLOCK him, DELETE his info and get a new phone number. And yes, you tell your husband that he tried to initiate contact ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is immature and its annoying
Q. Hi My girlfriend seems immature. We have been chatting for about 6 months and have decided to meet. She hangs on to every word I say and I dislike that very much. Seems everything needs to go her way. For example, we talk on the phone I suggest ...
A. 8 November 2021: Yep, I have to agree with the other aunties,
Thank her for her time and move on. You already know you are incompatible.
Meeting her in person is not going to change her. Or you.
She can be sweet and not a good match for you.
Also, a week... (read in full...)
Should I reach out to my deceased exs twin?
Q. Hello thank you! So I was with my ex for about 2 years when we were younger. He was sweet, caring, attentive and loving We got along well. I was very much in love with him. I was 5 years older and had 1 child. He was a virgin, and I wa...
A. 7 November 2021: Sounds bad? Yeah very bad.
His twin is not a replacement. Find someone healthy someone you can have a NEW history with.
Take a page out of the Twin's book, he didn't contact you. Which probably means he didn't think it was appropriate to s... (read in full...)
My crush was staring at me
Q. I caught my crush staring at me yesterday but he looked away.i still find this amusing.helpplease! What does this mean?...
A. 7 November 2021: What does it mean?
Well, you were staring at him too, right? so fair is fair. Maybe he thinks you are cute, or he was wondering why you kept looking at him.
Next time, just wink and turn away.
If he is interested he will feel encouraged to ... (read in full...)
Partner spends all his money then gets nasty if I don't give him money
Q. my partner spends half or more of his money every payday on weed and takeaways then he runs out of money and has nothing to eat. when he runs out of money he is horrible to me he expects money from me to eat when im struggling on my own paying for ...
A. 7 November 2021: Oh, honey just break up!
Since you live together (which is NOT GREAT!) YOU need to find another place to live. Look for a roommate situation ASAP. Or a woman's shelter since he is violent and abusive. You don't OWE him ANYTHING. If weed is more ... (read in full...)
I ended the affair, we are both still married to our spouses and now years later, he wants to be friends. Why?
Q. I had an affair that was emotional for years and then physical for months. I ended it pretty quickly knowing how wrong it was - even leaving my job to get away from him all together. For the past couple of years he has continued to reach out, which ...
A. 7 November 2021: Tell him in no uncertain terms that you want no FURTHER contact or you will tell his spouse (if he is still with her) and then BLOCK his number and possibly change your number.
I think he is hoping for a repeat, not friendship. Someone to keep him... (read in full...)
The love is gone in the marriage and I'm flirting with a coworker
Q. I am married and have been with my husband for ten years and married for six years. There is honestly not much left of our relationship. The love is all but gone. All we do is argue and we are both miserable. My husband has anger and mental health ...
A. 5 November 2021: I fully agree with WiseOwlE
YOU are having a budding emotional affair and you know it. This isn't friendship. You don't dress to the nine and put on extra perfume for a friend at work.
You are using your unhappiness in your marriage and you... (read in full...)
I feel there is alot of feelings still stirring got her but she denys it
Q. Hello and thanks So my gf and I have been together 2 years. The 1st year she lived with her ex. Her reason was she needed to be there for her exes daughter. She helped raise her. So I was understanding as much as 1 can be but a bit skeptical ...
A. 5 November 2021: My opinion?
She isn't over the ex. She wants to keep him in her life and perhaps also his daughter but mainly him.
Sounds like you are plan B, OP
If her ex would ask her back she would go back, I think.
Someone who talks A LOT about... (read in full...)
Is it over before it even really got started?
Q. I was seeing a male friend. (a) It was slowly progressing friendship. I began talking to another male friend, (B) (b) began to spread rumors about himself and me that we were engaging in sex. That wasn’t true at all. However my first male fr...
A. 5 November 2021: I'd cut B off. ASAP.
Whether B tells A the truth is moot. Because he might not believe it anyway. So A might be a non-starter.
And B? Immature asshat who I would NOT keep around in my life.
That IS however what can happen when you start "t... (read in full...)
Is it weird for a doctor to hug you?
Q. Is it weird, inappropriate, or flirting for your doctor to share a warm, longish (3-4 second) hug with you and rub the middle of your back up and down at the same time? When I say doctor, I mean general practioner....
A. 3 November 2021: It depends.
Mostly I'd say yes, it's weird. And I would have backed away.
... (read in full...)
I don't know how to handle my short tempered partner
Q. I'm 26 and live at home with my partner and our two year old son. I am currently studying an access course (3 A-Level subjects rolled into 10 months) and constantly feel guilty for leaving my little boy (in the supervision of his father or my auntie ...
A. 3 November 2021: How about daycare? Can you look into getting financial aid for some daycare throughout the week?
I would also consider asking family for more help, the LESS your partner spends around your little one, the better.... (read in full...)
Hi cupids! Should I take him or what u suggest????because of my job
Q. I like my co-worker hes my type(shy)! Ha I think about him¿like dream of him Should i keep it professional OR??? ...
A. 3 November 2021: Keep it professional.
If it doesn't work out it's going to be really awkward and that isn't good for anyone, not for you, him or the company nor coworkers.... (read in full...)
I suspect my girlfriend is seeing other guys again but don't know how to approach her
Q. Hi Something is bothering me about my girlfriend recently. we have been together since December 2020 but live in different cities as we are students. We haven't been able to see each other as often as we would like due to covid-19, as des...
A. 3 November 2021: Here is my main question, OP
WHAT are you getting out of this relationship? It seems like you are getting nothing. She is your GF in "title" but does nothing to participate in the relationship and she has asked YOU to not contact HER so much eit... (read in full...)
My friend told me we couldn't meet because she was afraid of covid then I see on social media that she was out with friends. Why did she lie to me?
Q. I’m a little confused and hurt by something that happened last week and need advice please. A friend that I’ve know for over 10 years made a lunch date for us. We used to meet up often prior to covid but with restrictions etc… we have seen mes...
A. 3 November 2021: You called her out on her lie and she is now ignoring you because it's EASIER to ignore you and delete the "evidence".
Is this really a friend?
She wasn't scared of Covid, OP
She either had other plans that Friday or she didn't really want t... (read in full...)
My dad confessed he's been having an affair for 24 years and loves the woman more than my mom
Q. I'm 35, and have lived with my girlfriend for the past 7 years now. Moved from California to The Bronx, I'm originally from Huntington Park. I've changed names here for privacy reasons. But it's not me and my girlfriend's relationship which ...
A. 1 November 2021: "I'm worried about what family and friends will think when, not if, this gets revealed."
That is totally out of your hands. YOU didn't cheat, your mom didn't cheat, this is 100% on your dad's head and conscience.
"Is it a really rare thin... (read in full...)
I'm married but have to celebrate my birthday alone?
Q. Dear cupid My husband is not keen on celebrating bday. He never celebrates even his bday, but I like bdays esp mine. I always do something special for me ony bday, take a trip or buy expensive stuff for me... We planned to do a trip this year a...
A. 1 November 2021: Stick to your plans.
Your husband doesn't celebrate birthdays. Ok. YOu do. So this is a "agree to disagree" kind of issue. You can celebrate yous however you see fit if he wants to participate, GREAT! If he doesn't, then you do YOUR thing.
... (read in full...)
Feelings that I don't know how to address
Q. Hi all thanks for taken a moment to read this. I just need some help with a situation I have found myself in. I have a boyfriend we have been together 3 years, we are okay together sometimes. I feel somewhat unloved and not cared for as I should b...
A. 1 November 2021: I don't think you should talk to this new guy at all. He isn't a friend. And it's not OK for you to start a budding emotional affair behind your partner's back.
If your partner is NOT fulfilling your needs you need to COMMUNICATE that to your par... (read in full...)
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