A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My bf, his whole family, and his friends all keep trying to force me to drink through pressuring me. I keep telling them I dont drink, but they wont accept it, they continue to harrass me non stop. They buy me alcoholic drinks and say "you have to drink it now, I bought it for you, you cant waste my money like that"- even though I never asked for a drink and when they asked me if I wanted alcohol I said no!Some of his friends even go as far as saying they are giving me 'just lemonade' or 'just orange juice', then when I go to sip it, I can taste the alcohol in it.I feel so disrespected and hurt. It makes me feel like they dont like me because they arent accepting me for who I am.I NEVER tell them to not drink. I accept they drink and im fine with that, but drinking just isnt for me.His parents even pressure me, who are supposed to be mature adults. Im 20 years old and my bf is 25. You would expect peer pressure to drink to happen to teenagers, but no its still happening to me now and Im being pressured by my bf who is 25, his friends who are the same age, if not older, his parents (60 years old) and his older siblings.I dont know how to deal with it. Sometimes i am so close to giving in because their pressure is really beginning to wear me out. Its got to the point where i dread going out with my bf and his friends and family. They have this attitude that there is no such thing as a life without alcohol. Why cant they accept I dont drink? How do i get them to stop pressuring me? Ive told them how i feel, but they still do it. They still harrass me, they still buy me drinks and tell me i have to drink it, they even shove drinks in my face. They still buy me drinks and pretend its not alcohol when it really does have alcohol in it.
View related questions:
alcoholic, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (22 July 2009):
I would simply not go out with them any more.
Tell your boyfriend that you are sick of feeling pressured by them and if you are not going to have fun with them then why should you bother going?
He can go on his own and tell them that they need to either stop being such idiots about alcohol or not have you there.
Another question to ask your boyfriend is: why doesn't he respect you enough to understand that you don't want to drink? And why doesn't he stand up for you?
Personally I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't give a crap about me enough to stop me being bullied and tricked by people.
Good Luck!! xx
A
male
reader, Your friend +, writes (22 July 2009):
 You have become a challenge for them and as soon as you break they will leave you alone. The problems is that if you accept a drink then its possible they may push you to drink it all but having said that is may be possible to hold one in your hand and sip it very very slowly. Then if they still persist make out that it has made you sick and need to go home, they may actually feel a little sorry for you. I'm sorry this sounds so pathetic but some people feel uncomfortable when people around them don't drink with them but thats their problem. Whatever you do you need to be sure that you don't compromise yourself so make sure you are comfortable about it. If they keep it up leave him and then I bet they will be sorry they pursued you (he certainly will be).
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (22 July 2009):
 You've made it clear that you are not interested in alcohol to them, yet they continue to pressure you? This is not healthy behavior from them. They obviously have a problem with alcohol, if they are pressuring you to do something you don't want to do.
My suggestion is that you attend a meeting of Al-Anon, to present your issue and see what the other attendees might have to say, perhaps they have an idea or maybe just offer you support.
Personally, this continued pressure from him and his family is a red flag, and I would probably consider breaking up with him. Certainly break up before you "cave in" and do something you simply do not wish to do. Yes, they might think that you are missing out on something and are being hysterical and childish to leave. But honestly, they are the ones with the problem.
For now, simply leave when they start pressuring you. Just remove yourself from the situation entirely. Don't make a scene, just leave and take yourself home.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/australia/
Take care.
...............................
A
male
reader, Jason32477 +, writes (22 July 2009):
 I won`t say I never drink but it has been over a year seance my last.I don`t care for the lack of good judgment alcohol creates.If I was in your shoes I would put the ultimatum to your bf.If he continues to pressure you to drink you will leave him,and if his friends won`t stop you will stop hanging out with them.And his parents then stop going to his house.There behavior is not appropriate and not acceptable.Ask him how he would feel if you tried to pressure him into doing something he didn`t want.Like sleeping with another man for example.Or maybe smoking crack.He is not being fair to you and as such is not being a good bf.Don`t put up with it.
...............................
A
female
reader, scarredkitty  +, writes (22 July 2009):
 If they are pressuring you to drink and you've told them repeatedly that you don't drink and don't want to drink, even you're bf's supposedly "mature adults", then don't stick around them. If you're bf is trying to make you drink and not respecting you and your disition not to drink, dump him and find someone better.
You deserve a better realtionship and trust me, I've had very few bf's and finally found someone worth being around. It's hard to do, but I think it'll be more healthy and less stressful for you if you find someone else.
...............................
|
