A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:For various reasons, right now I'm very happy being single and dating here and there. But it turns out that me having a boyfriend is the only thing stopping a lot of guys I know from letting their imaginations run wild. As a few of my girlfriends put it a few years ago: I flirt without realizing it and sometimes they even feel like I'm flirting with them. So at the moment there are a few guys who think they really like me and I'm not sure what to do about it. Some of them are good friends with each other - a couple have had a conversation along the lines of "if she likes me not you, would you mind?" and another couple of them share a very small 2 person office at work. If possible, I'd like to stop any bad feelings from developing between these friends, because I've been in situations like that in the distant past and it hasn't ended well.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (29 July 2009):
I'm the same. I flirt with everyone. You just don't notice you are doing it sometimes because you know that you are messing about.
Urg!
But yes, you just need to bring up the fact in conversation that you are just not interested in boyfriends at the moment. Tell them that you have been hearing about a mate's relationship woes and it has made you really glad you are single and you really don't want to go out with ANY ONE at the moment.
Point out that you are a flirt and like having that freedom.
That should hopefully get the message across that they don't have a chance. Offer to go out on a lads night and act as a wingman. Offer to hook them up with your friends. Keep dropping hints that you have no interest in them as anything more than mates.
Men can just be stupid sometimes and like you as soon as you are nice to them.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (29 July 2009):
 why don't you just talk to them and say that you don't mean to flirt with them it's just the way you are and you hope you don't give out the wrong impression because you're just being friendly towards them and don't mean to initiate anything further more.
and you apologize if you've made them believe they have a shot with you.
that's the only thing and try to keep your flirting on a downlow as Aunty Em said.
it's just going to cause rifts and ructions between your friends and the guys could fall out over it.
so just tell them it's the way you are and that you don't intend it to mean anything to them and don't realise half the time you do it and you're sorry for misleading them.
Hope this helps :)
x ilovebowsandcherries x
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (29 July 2009):
 Well if you really want to avoid bad feelings amongst your friends because your flirting with them all and they are all squabbling over you...simply STOP FLIRTING!!! If you can't, then your just going to have to reap it!!!
Aunty Em x
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (29 July 2009):
 The ability to stop flirting is one that only you can control by actions. If you have had a similar experience in the past, then you must recognize the actions that you took that made those incidents not end well.Basically you can either decide to be friendly and not flirt or flirt and have this continue. Men are responding to signals that YOU are throwing out there. Or at the very least you are responding positively to the signals these guys throw out.So limit the time you spend around these men. Surely they aren't the only friends you have. Just don't put yourself in situations for awhile. Go to different places socially and see some old friends you haven't in awhile. When guys are having the "I like her, so you mind?" convos between themselves its time for you to keep your distance before these guys have bad blood between them.Or maybe you deep down enjoy the attention, but not to this level?
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