A
male
age
51-59,
*adly Confused and Hurting
writes:Since February 2009, I have been dating an escort from a Western European country. She and I have seen each other 9 times for up to one week at a time and sometimes for as little as 2 days at a time. She has been very open in telling me she loves me, misses me and we have talked about our future together. She has even gone as far as introducing me to her parents who I believe are unaware of her profession. Her closest friends also know who I am.Unfortunately, she feels that she is still in a position where she needs to charge me in order to make up for the revenue she loses by foregoing seeing paying customers while with me. She has not come out and said it this way, but I still do pay a substantial amount to see her. She has offered to lower what I pay, but I am so deeply embarassed and hurting inside about the topic that I just say forget it.Her goal is to pay off debts and get investments in place to allow her to make a steady flow of income that will allow her to leave the profession. I cannot afford to buy her out.Despite all of this, I am now really in love, but I am more miserable in my life than I have ever been. I try not to think about what she does when we are separated, but it kills me at times. She sometimes will not communicate with me for days saying that she needs to be in character to do what she does which makes sense.In total, this is a terribly unhealthy relationship for me to be in because it mortifies me to think that I am paying for something that should just come naturally. I am really seriously depressed, and I need some help and suggestions from anyone who will listen.I am literally hurting inside of my heart on a constant basis. I do truly love her, care for her and she makes me happy in a way no other woman has. However, we have little in terms of communication outside of when were together. What we do have is near daily text messaging and very little talking.I love her, I believe she loves me, but I need help.
View related questions:
debt, depressed, escort, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2009): You're a fool for paying. That makes you a customer and you have been lying to yourself. She's using you.Get a real girlfriend that will love you for who you are as a human being and not an ATM.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009): EmilyAnswers, thank you for your helpful response. I appreciate what you have said. I see her again shortly in Europe, and I am going to address this head on. Continuing like this will get me nowhere at all.Anonymous, you sound like a bitter person. Thanks for your contentless and thoughtless message.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2009): She has spotted ur weakness. Just another client with guaranteed work. Have you thought of improving your social skills?
Lots of women are in debt. They dont all sell their body,its for their partners eyes only. Wake up.
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (21 July 2009):
I know you are hooked on her and I know you are not going to like this advice, so I know you are not going to do anything but continue to be hurt.
She is either your girlfriend, or your escort. She cannot be in the middle.
She is probably very good at making you feel loved and wonderful... this is how she makes her living.
She cannot CHARGE you (or demand compensation for lost earnings) for seeing you. If she wants to see you then she will take time off work and do that.
You need to tell her that you are not prepared to have a relationship with her on these terms.
Either she sees you for free because she wants to, and if she works long hours and can't see you very often then that is her own problem.
It has to be this way, or you tell her that you will wait for her to pay off her debts and she should get in touch when she is in a normal line of work and can see you for love and not what's in your wallet.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
|
