A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey, basically,i really like this girl, i have liked her for about a year, and we acted like a relationship. (we went out together kissed had sex blah blah blah) but it wasn't official, and when i asked her about being together she kept saying i need time to think. after a few months of not mentioning anything she went away on holiday, when she returned after 2 weeks i found out she met someone on holiday and she told me in an argument that i can finally get over her as she has found someone else. i tried to get over her i didn't talk to her at all for about 2 weeks and we wasn't the same for about 4 months. recently we went on holiday together that we booked up ages ago, and we spent a whole week together just me and her and it was really nice i had an amazing time and i ended up getting all my feelings back for her. when we returned home she decided she no longer liked her boy friend that she met on holiday because he was boring poor and stalker ish and realized that she liked me more. so she split with her boyfriend and told me that she liked me.so recently she has been coming round every night telling me she misses me as soon as she leaves my presence and kisses me etc and also said she wanted to have sex... but me not wanting to let her back into my life to much turned her down and asked her where i stand. i asked her what she felt and she told me that she thinks she loves me and that she only ever calls me when she is upset because i always make her happy and always make things better and that i am just general a nice guy and i make her feel like the rarest diamond, which she is to me.... so special. but when i ask her if she wants to be together she says she needs time to think, and i dont know what to do because last time i gave her time to think i got heart broken when she went away on holiday and i found out the news that she found someone else and im scared that im letting her back into my heart and that im going to get hurt again, but the fact is i love this girl more than anything else in this world and she is so so so soooooo special to me and i want to be with her for the rest of my life and i dont want her to keep asking me to wait as im getting impatient as i have basically waited for her for over a year now... and it makes me angry that we are not together. as she tells me how much she loves me how nice i am blah blah but still no relationship....anyone got any ideas on what i should do?i really do love her she is my world....... but it seems like i am waiting forever for something im not entirely sure will happen....Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (29 July 2009):
I'll give you the same advice that I would give to a girl with a guy who "isn't sure if he wants a relationship":
Cut contact.
Tell her that you don't want to be hurt again and so you need to cut contact. She can call someone else when she needs a nice self esteem boost and take all the time she wants to think.
It sounds to me like you are a really nice guy and she knows that you would make a perfect boyfriend on paper, and she does care about you... she just doesn't have those feelings.
Make the decision for her and cut contact. It'll be hard to do but get out there and try and meet some new girls to help you get over this one.
Good Luck!! xx
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