A
female
age
36-40,
*skSam
writes:I have decided to end things with my partner, sheerly because he gambles five days a week, we have one child together and i have three from a previous relationship, and he pays no interest in them only complains about their behaviour, they are naughty but they are all quite young. We have near to zero sex life, and i am not sexually satisfied anymore, as its a selfish orgasm he has before its all over. I feel used and i am lonely.we dont sleep together. I dont really want to leave him to be honest i love him, but know i deserve so much better. And i dont know how to break it to him, he is very defensive and there is always an argument. We dont sleep in the same bed because i snore he is on the couch and i am lonely looking after our six month old baby every night and cry myself to sleep. I suffer from depression regularly and the situation has only made it worse. Am i wrong for wanting to move on and find happiness? I am searching for jobs at the moment and with the recession they are hard to come by. And each set back is yet another knock. Should i keep trying? or just move on and find happiness somewhere else?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskSam +, writes (24 July 2009):
AskSam is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for you replies. I have a nervous breakdown and ended up oin hospital over the weekend in and out of consiousness after taking a stupid overdose. There was an emergency meeting with the wexford self harm intervention programme and barry has been ordered to speak to a gamblers anonymous crowd for an assessment. Hopefully this will work, he was very scared and was rather upset, never seen that side of him before. Me? dont ask i dont know what happened, i still dont feel much and dont know what possessed me to do it, i have remorse for my poor children who were out at the time. I was in a lonely place and its clear i needed help from outsiders. I have counsellors and psychiatrists lined up to help myself deal with emotional issues for the nest few weeks. So hopefully this is a step forward. Ill keep you psted. thanks for all your help. xxx
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (22 July 2009):
Scared kitty is right.
You need to leave this man.
If you tell him that you are unhappy and want to end it then he can argue all he wants but there is no argument that can change the fact that:
1. "I don't want to be with you any more."
2. "I'm leaving, I'm sorry, but I have made up my mind."
Head to your family's house if you don't feel you can stay at home.
Jobs are hard to come by but you will find something. Either that or is there any business you could do yourself?
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, scarredkitty  +, writes (22 July 2009):
 Move on, gambling is a nasty habbit to deal with when raising a family. My uncle married a woman who loved him a lot and he had gambling problems too, but she left him looking to find someone better, even though she loved him. If your bf has issues with you leaving, that's fine. Let him have his tantrum but don't let him convince you otherwise. "You deserve so much better." you are right. You do. live with your family if you have to while you're looking for a job, that way your kids will be taken care of while you search, just make sure it's ok with them first. I'm sure they'll understand and welcome you with open arms.
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