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... Send *d206 a private message | | *d206's profile:Hi, my name is Cat and I'm 22 years old. I live in various cities in the UK since the city where I study and where my family live are different. I'm currently just out of a relationship and enjoying the single life for a while. I don't know that I am qualified to help people but I'd like to try. I've had a lot of experiences in my life and despite being quite young I'm always helping my friends with their problems. I'd like the chance to help all of you too. Feel free to private message me anytime.If you do however, please include some details of your problem as I answer a lot here and can't always remember specific problems. With big hugs, Cat xx |
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My brother is abusive and stresses out our family. My parents don't deserve this - what can be done??
Q. My problem is too complicated to explain here, so I've simplified it a bit... I'm 17, my brother in 14. He is out of control. He gets in trouble with the police, he grafittis, he has been expelled from school, and he's just generally abusiv...
A. 25 January 2007: Chick, this is more than a few family rows and you know it. Maybe social services can do absolutely nothing but I think speaking to them in confidence would help you out no end. They legally have to help anyone who asks for it. Area is irrelevant. ... (read in full...)
My GF gets upset thinking im bored of her as my job is making me so tired... What can I do as I really need this job but dont want to lose her!!! ?
Q. Sorry about the long question, but I've got to get some help with this. My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost a year and a half now, and while we've had our ups and downs, recently we've been having an increase in arguments and fights, ...
A. 25 January 2007: Relationships aren't easy but they're all about compromise. If you just try a little harder to make her see you love her and ask her to cut you a little slack in return because you're tired from your new job but try to remember work isn't ... (read in full...)
Im jealous that my ex has someone new, I really want someone new but its not happening!!!
Q. im jealous my ex boyfriend has moved on and im still single even though it was me that broke up with him. i really would like to meet guys but since starting college and doing a child care course i havent met anyone i really thought it would be a ...
A. 25 January 2007: Don't jump into a new relationship like him. His is a rebound fling and won't work out. You, on the other hand, are in a strong position. You've just started college and are surrounded by hundreds of guys, maybe not in your course but in your free ... (read in full...)
I'm a 16 year old virgin. How do I show my 19 year old boyfriend that I'm ready for sex?
Q. I'm nearly 16 and i have an older boyfriend who is 19, nearly 20. I'm still a virgin and he is very understanding of that and never pressures me into anything that i don't want to do. We've been together for 6 months, i trust him with my life, and i ...
A. 25 January 2007: First of all please wait until you're sixteen. You say you're nearly there. I'm advising you to do this for your boyfriend more than for you, since if anyone finds out you're having sex before you turn 16 then they can charge your boyfriend with ... (read in full...)
I fancy my best friend/ex bf but he's got a new girlfriend now! What do I do?
Q. Well its pretty simple... I fancy my best frind who is also my ex. We went out for a few weeks in June then i split up with him. Since then he has been obsessed with me an after everything we are now best friends. But he started going out with s...
A. 25 January 2007: If they seem perfect for each other and you're really his friend you have to try and be happy for him. Of course you're thinking what about me? Of course you are, but the problem with being best friends with someone is that you have to support their ... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't have a phone. Not even a home phone! Am I right to be suspicous?
Q. I met this guy about a month ago, We've already had sex probably two weeks after meeting eachother. I've been on a few dates with him, he usually calls me everyday to say hello and see what I'm up to. Well, I like him alot but the only thing that is ...
A. 25 January 2007: It is rare these days not to have a cell phone but I know plenty of people who don't have a phone to be contacted on. A lot of people find cell phones intrusive and don't want one. Maybe for his birthday you could buy him one. To be honest it sounds ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend broke up with me and got with another girl. But now that he's broken up with her I want him back! What do I do?
Q. I went out with this guy for a while but then we broke up as a joint decision because I was too flirty with other guys and I have a feeling he liked someone else. Then he got this other girlfriend and moved on which hurt me. Recently they've broken ...
A. 25 January 2007: You want him back. Does he want you back? The only way to know for sure is to ask him and try to change your behaviour of flirting with other guys if you're in a monogamous relationshop but all of this is academic. You have to find out if he wants ... (read in full...)
How can I leave my abusive bf w/out sparking his temper and threats?
Q. My boyfriend of 16 months has a very bad temper. He never HITS me but does shove and pull me around sometimes. Whenever I want to leave him he cries and begs and threatens suicide. I don't want to risk him really doing it so i stay. I really do love ...
A. 25 January 2007: First of all dealing with the threats to kill himself. It took me a long time to realise this (in connection with a friend of mine) but you need to know and so does he that if he does try to kill himself then that is his decision and not related to ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my "marry-before-you-live-together" parents that I'm outta here and shacking up with my man
Q. How do you break the news to your parents about moving out, and living with a boyfriend which you dated for 1 1/2yrs? I am 23 yrs old and my bf is 25. My bf and I both work and are able to support our own living. My parents are those tradiona...
A. 25 January 2007: Tell your parents that you totally respect their beliefs. You just think that beliefs have changed with the times and that when you get married you want it to be for life, not to turn out as another divorce statistic and both you and your boyfriend ... (read in full...)
Girls! What foundation could I use to cover up my pimples? It's so embarrassing!
Q. i get big spots around my chin and find them really embarasing. When i try to cover them up with foundation as it just seems to look worse, does anyone know any amazing makeup that would look like i have no spots at all or anything that would get ...
A. 25 January 2007: Hi. I find a nightly routine of cleansing and using a spot buster cream on the big spots is the best thing. Do you know that before you put on foundation you should put an oil free moisturiser onto your face? I didn't find that out until I was ... (read in full...)
I don't know if I slept with anyone but I think I might be pregnant. Help!
Q. i've dug myself a hole too deep... this year i started dating a hockey player, he's a really sweet and caring guy and i loved him to death. About a week ago him and a few of his buddies were threw a party and naturally he invited me. We cranked ...
A. 25 January 2007: Take a test. When we're anxious our periods are even later so worrying is bad! If the worst happens and you are pregnant don't assume the worst. It's more likely to be your boyfriend's from another sexual encounter. Hearing guys talking when you're ... (read in full...)
How do you know when you're ready for sex?
Q. How do you know if you are ready for sex? Because i want to and i feel like im ready but i have a really big problem with a fear of pain! ...
A. 25 January 2007: You really will know when you're ready. It's just a feeling inside. It's natural to have some concerns about sex but if these are serious concerns remember that might mean you're not ready. If you're under 16 make sure you see your doctor beforehand ... (read in full...)
My cheating partner has been telling lies to the health visitor! I feel so alone. Help!
Q. hi there not sure where to start but here goes my partner has been telling lies about me to our health visitor and family she tells them i swear at her and that im verbally abusive to her which is untrue we have had our ups and downs shortly af...
A. 25 January 2007: Talk to the health visitor in confidence. Maybe you could make an appointment to pop in and see her in her surgery hours or something and ask her if she thinks your wife could be suffering from post natal depression since you're concerned about the ... (read in full...)
My bf expects me to shoulder the responsbilities at home! I'm fed up.
Q. I have been living with my boy f for about 7 months. His ten year old son lives with us also and his two girls stay over once a week. We have been together for about 18mths. I knew if i moved in with him his son would live with us - and although i ...
A. 25 January 2007: I don't think you're being unreasonable. If he works three days a week I would start gently by asking him to do the school runs and cook dinner on the days that you're working only. Don't say it's cos its his son or anything like that, just ask him ... (read in full...)
Just thinking about her or reading an email from her turnes me on. What is going on?
Q. I am 21 - well past puberty. I had a relationship 4 years ago where I fell in love but wasn't loved back. Since then i've been afraid of relationships and haven't really dated. I am finally in a relationship again with a girl I'm crazy abou...
A. 24 January 2007: I don't think you're that different to any guy, except perhaps that you have a more active imagination so that when you think of her you become turned on as opposed to most guys who would probably need visual stimuli. I assume you want to stop this ... (read in full...)
I don't wanna embarrass myself by asking him out, so how do I know he won't laugh and say no?
Q. Ive started in a new school, i like a lad, but I've just found out hes my best mates cousin in my old school, and everyone in my new school think hes a dick, i don't wanna embarrass myself by asking him out, how do i know he wont laugh?? and say ...
A. 24 January 2007: You can't know that he won't laugh and say no but if he laughs he's obviously not mature enough to be with a great girl like you. There are no guarantees in love. Sometimes you're rejected and sometimes you're accepted but you'll never be accepted ... (read in full...)
We want to live together..we're both in different cities though. Any advice?
Q. My boyfriend and I were discussing about living together. We currently live in two different cities about 1 1/2hrs drive apart. We spend a long time thinking whether I should move up or he should move down. If he moves down, I would be able to be ...
A. 24 January 2007: It depends how secure you are in your relationship to whether you're willing to let your boyfriend support you through education but then, I guess if you're planning to live with him you're planning for him to be your forever guy anyway. If you want ... (read in full...)
Does he fancy me or just see me as a friend he can talk to?!
Q. Male answers please. I have had very strong feelings for a man for over 2 years and he is one of the managers. From the start we had a very special kind of rapport but we both have other relationships issues to resolve and we are not having an affai...
A. 24 January 2007: Hi, I'm not a guy but your question has remained unanswered for a day or so now so thought if I answered it might get the guys going a bit. Sorry if that disappoints you. To be honest it sounds like he sees you more as a friend than a love interest ... (read in full...)
He dumped by telling a friend "that everything was closing around him'...what did he mean?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me, saying i was too good for him. A friend asked him why he did it and he said "it felt like everything was closing around him" what does this mean???...
A. 24 January 2007: It sounds like he felt crowded in your relationship. Maybe he wasn't ready for a relationship or maybe you needed him too much but you're better off without him.
CD... (read in full...)
Does anyone had any tips on how to keep a guy interested in you?
Q. Hey, I have been with this guy for about 8 months now (we're 17) and generally its going ok. However, recently - hes been a little bit more distant from me and hasnt been complimenting me as much as normal. I don't thnk its that hes loosing int...
A. 24 January 2007: I think your relationship is just slowing down to the stage where you don't need to constantly compliment each other to feel secure. You say he's stressed about his exams so in the short term gestures would be good. Give him a massage to chill him ... (read in full...)
I think my bf didn't want me to meet his friend b/c he did something he wasn't supposed to while on a trip.
Q. Am i being paranoid.. my b/f went on a trip last year for a week..he said he hung out with mostly with this one guy from work and this other guy..a lot of the other guys are older...but recently one of the older guys calling to go ride motorcycles...
A. 24 January 2007: Don't let paranoia ruin your relationship. Forget it. He's not cheating on you unless you have definitive reasons to suspect him and right now you have nothing.
CD... (read in full...)
My brother is abusive and stresses out our family. My parents don't deserve this - what can be done??
Q. My problem is too complicated to explain here, so I've simplified it a bit... I'm 17, my brother in 14. He is out of control. He gets in trouble with the police, he grafittis, he has been expelled from school, and he's just generally abusiv...
A. 24 January 2007: Talk to your parents about this but why not ask the police to scare it out of him? Theyre usually perfectly open to a little scaremongering among wayward teens. They can threaten to arrest him without having any intention of doing so just to try and ... (read in full...)
She was asked if she would date me and she said "eww no." Is this my fault??
Q. So... I think I've totally screwed up my chances with a girl, and want to know if there is ANY chance that she'll even consider dating me now. Thing is, she's apparantly a manipulator sort of. If she knows a guy likes her, she uses it to get t...
A. 24 January 2007: The neediness might have freaked her out a little but it seems to me that the real issue here is why you would still want to go out with such an evil girl? Move on and find someone better and try to tone down the power of needy next time.
CD... (read in full...)
I think she'd be better off w/out her bf, but is that b/c I'm jealous? Should I ask if she holds feelings for me?
Q. hi all, this is a long story so i'll try to keep it brief. Basically, about 9 months ago me and this girl became friends. i did know her before from college, but never really spoke to her. after a while of being friends and getting along really w...
A. 24 January 2007: To be honest I think if she really held feelings for you she wouldn't be able to be with another guy. She'd have waited until you saw the error of your ways and liked her as much as she liked you. Just remain friends and be there for her when they ... (read in full...)
I cant ignore the fact shes got another guy as shes the only one I like! What can I do ?
Q. i had a girlfriend and we broke up but i still have feelings for her. right now she is going out with another guy and i would like to ignore it but i cant because she is the only person at school that i like. is there any way to get around this?...
A. 24 January 2007: Sorry but you just have to accept that she's moved on and try to move on yourself. She's with him now and she's not coming back to you.
CD... (read in full...)
My parents are so judgemental. I have a new bf and am afraid of what they may think.
Q. I have an issue. I am sort of dating this guy, who is 29 years old, and I am 20. He is so incredibly nice and wonderful, and I do enjoy his company and how everything is going. However I am paranoid about what my parents might think of him as...
A. 24 January 2007: I think your real concern is that if your parents don;t like him you might start looking at him in a different light. After all you're 20 years old, hardly a child anymore, and what your parents think shouldn't mean anything to you. You're old ... (read in full...)
I used fake pics on myspace and met a guy. He knows the truth, but loves me for my personality. But now, he wants nothing to do with me.
Q. I recently met a fantastic man over the net (myspace) but i made the stupid mistake of using someone elses pics as im a little insecure on how i look! we chatted over the phone for 4 months and hes just found out about me lying over the ...
A. 24 January 2007: He feels betrayed. If you lie to him before you've even met he's bound to wonder if you're worth the hassle since it's a bad sign. It also shows you're insecure. I think that has a lot to do with why he's stopped contacting you. Write him off and ... (read in full...)
My husband and I are perfect, except for the sex. He said I could have other partners so long as I came back to him... but now I've fallen in love with one!
Q. Please can you offer me some advice. I am married and have been with my husband for 5 years. We have one 2 year old boy and I am 6 weeks pregnant with our second child. We are happy together and we are made for each other but he just does not do i...
A. 24 January 2007: Your husband offers you so much more than just sex. He must be a really amazing man to be able to abide you having sex with other men without being jealous, although a little stupid as well since he should have known that women get more attached to ... (read in full...)
Do you think he's been cheating with the girl from his 3-week training couse?
Q. I am unsure whether to trust my boyfriend of one year. I knew about my boyfriend before we started seeing each other and I know he has cheated on one girlfirend with someone from Spain and dumped the English Girlfriend eventually to get together ...
A. 24 January 2007: Just because he's cheated before doesn't mean he'll cheat again. I'm sure you've gone on nights out with the girls before and forgotten all about texting him before bed because you've been having too much fun. As for the girl texting and emailing ... (read in full...)
She's 15. Should I wait or not?
Q. Hello to anyone that replies to this question I really need some advice. I'm 19 years old and my girlfriend is 15.We'be been going out for 6 months and recently talked about going all the way as it were. I want to know whether I should wait or not. ...
A. 24 January 2007: Can you wait until she's 16? The thing is that if you go all the way now and she tells anyone you could get charged with rape, despite the fact that it was consensual sex. That's the problem with these relationships with big age gaps. Sex is always ... (read in full...)
I've got this girl's number but I'm scared to call her! I don't know what to say. Please help me!
Q. Well, the other night at a concert i got this girls number and have yet to call her. i mean i like her and all, she is an awesome girl, but i don't know if she likes me back, you know wat i mean. i asked for it and she gave it to me. but i dont know ...
A. 24 January 2007: I bet she's sitting by her phone right now willing it to ring and asking all her friends why he hasn't called her yet. Take a chance and pick up the phone. I'm sure you'll get the response you're hoping for.
CD... (read in full...)
I feel relief... not tears!
Q. Hi I have finished with my partner, he was a lazy, critical, unemployed pig whilst I worked, did the housework, childcare everything basically! I havent cried yet tho could it be cos Ive cried buckets in the past? I feel relief if anything! ...
A. 24 January 2007: I think relief is such an appropriate emotion for you right now. You've done all your crying in the way he treated you. You should feel so proud of yourself for managing to walk away from him. Don't be emotionally manipulated!
CD... (read in full...)
I feel inadequate after seeing a photograph of my boyfriend's ex. But am I just being silly?
Q. I've been in a reltionship with my boyfriend for 4 months. We love each other very much, and I am completely open with him. His last relationship was with a girl that lasted 2 years, and they were engaged. He told me he broke up with her because he ...
A. 24 January 2007: You're being silly because material things don;t matter. It's the type of person you are that matters to your boyfriend, and if he thought she was a more worthwhile person chances are he'd still be with her.
CD... (read in full...)
Am I selfish for saying that I should come FIRST?
Q. Am i being selfish when i tell my boyfriend of 11years that my wants and needs come first over his mom and sister want and needs....
A. 24 January 2007: It totally depends on the situation. Could you post more details and I'll come back for a read?
CD... (read in full...)
I really want to experience some girl on girl action, but my boyfriend doesn't want to take part. Should I cheat on him?
Q. Ok..i feel embarassed to be asking advice online so its a good think u don't know who a I am lol.. anyways.. so i am 20 something and I'm straight in a healthy commited relationship. I have no complaints about our sex life.. but here i am ...
A. 24 January 2007: If you love your boyfriend respect his wishes and keep it as a fantasy. Try to think of it situations reversed. If he wanted to have sex with a man and you didn't like it you'd hate it if he cheated right? Always treat others as you would like to be ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend (who I love) has told me he'll be away for 2 months. Then he said it's up to me if I want to move on! I don't want o break up with him though! Help!
Q. okay...i havn't see my bf ever since the 5th of this month. which is okay but i got a call from him 2 days ago saying that he has to stay at Browwsoo (its like 10 hours away from where i live) for another 1 or 2 months. usually we talk on the phone ...
A. 24 January 2007: It's so hard to tell. Maybe he's hoping you'll break up with him to save him the bother or maybe he's being selfless and wanting you to have the chance of seeing other guys since he's been away for so long. I think you need to ask him straight out ... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and this guy wants me to give him a blowjob. I agreed to this because I'm in love with him. What shall I do now?
Q. Hey, I really like this boy and he really likes me, He asked me to give him a blowjob next weekend and I said yes, he wants to do more than that and i said maybe. I love him sooo much and he said he really likes me but hes got a girlfriend. What ...
A. 24 January 2007: Forget him right now. For one thing you're not ready for sex. That much is obvious from you having to ask whether you should or not. And yes a blow job is part of sex. Basically he has a girlfriend who will not give him one so he's playing on your ... (read in full...)
My mate secretly asked out my ex! I'm a bit angry and upset about this. Please help.
Q. i went out with this lad but i didn't like him like him so i dumped him after 3 days. But while i went out with this lad i fancied another. he's perfect and we are really good mates but i don't wanna ruin that. Recenly my mate asked my ex out for me ...
A. 24 January 2007: If you don't like him then why can't your mate have him? Sounds like you don't want him but you don't want anyone else to have him. It's a dangerous pattern to get into so try and squash it while you're young. You can't stop him or her doing ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is such a hottie. But when other guys show her attention I get jelous. Should I tell her how I feel?
Q. hello, my problem is i have a really nice girllfriend whos a bit older than me, and she gets a lot of attention from other blokes and it gets me kinda jelous/angry. we both go to school and i get innapropriate comments, and so does she, even though ...
A. 24 January 2007: If you want her to know how you're feeling make it into a joke. Say lightheartedly "God, it's so hard for me what with all these guys being in love with you. Sucks to have such a hot, amazing girlfriend hm?" but the truth is that you are being ... (read in full...)
My friend who is only 17 is hell bent on having a child! But I think she's too young. What should I do?
Q. well this is about my friend, i'm not quite sure what to do. She turned 17 in october. She is in a long term relationship and she recently told me her and her partner had fallen out.They are still together though I asked her why and she said because ...
A. 24 January 2007: I think she has this romantic ideal that having a child will bind her to her boyfriend and they'll be this perfect little family and all her problems will magically go away. You're mature enough to know this probably will not happen. Inevitably if ... (read in full...)
Can anyone convince me and tell me why councelling is beneficial?
Q. I'm clinically depressed and my doctor is suggesting I try having councelling (I'm on prozac but it's not helping). I'm pretty sceptical about it; talking to a complete stranger about my private life isn't my idea of fun, and I really don't see how ...
A. 24 January 2007: I think that the benefits of counselling are different for everyone. As someone who's had counselling and has a little (bit very little) knowledge of it, I'd imagine the benefits of counselling for you would be to up your self esteem. You said ... (read in full...)
She dumped me yet owes me £30,000!!! How could she do it knowing she won't be able to pay her bills now?
Q. just before xmas my partner of 7 years dumped me,ever since i have known her she has struggled for money,her dad died 4 years ago and this had a devastating effect on her,her spending since then has spirraled out of control she now owes £30000 wiyh ...
A. 23 January 2007: I'm a little confused by the title of this problem and the content. Does she in fact owe YOU £30,000 or other people? If it's other people essentially what you're saying is that she should stay in a relationship she's not happy in because you have ... (read in full...)
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