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... Send *d206 a private message | | | *d206's profile:Hi, my name is Cat and I'm 22 years old. I live in various cities in the UK since the city where I study and where my family live are different. I'm currently just out of a relationship and enjoying the single life for a while. I don't know that I am qualified to help people but I'd like to try. I've had a lot of experiences in my life and despite being quite young I'm always helping my friends with their problems. I'd like the chance to help all of you too. Feel free to private message me anytime.If you do however, please include some details of your problem as I answer a lot here and can't always remember specific problems. With big hugs, Cat xx |
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Why can't I experience orgasms like the girls in porn? Any thoughts?
Q. I keep watching porn and seeing these girls come loads! I mean like waterfalls of come! Is this real or fake? Why can't I do it? Thanks...
A. 19 January 2007: Why can't you fall off a ten storey building and live? Why can you never achieve the perfect beauty of your fave film star? Why can't you come like the girls in porn films? Because all of the above are fantasy. There are hours and hours of work into ... (read in full...)
He smacked me and I left! But.. I am hurting so bad. How can I stop letting my emotions get the best of me?
Q. I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years now and married for about a year. My two daughter's and I moved in with him and his son 2 years ago. I have raised his son like my own. I have tried to be a good mom to him because his mother died ...
A. 19 January 2007: Although I don't think you should have got so involved in an argument about his son, any form of physical violence is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE whatever the motive behind it. He hasn't got in contact with you since you left showing that he's not ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my Mom this guy and I are more than just good mates, without worrying her?
Q. Right...my new bf is 17, im 14. I told my mum i met how i met him and she thinks were just m8s. how can i tell her were goin out without worrying her? how do i start tho convo? she doesnt no how much i talk to him or anything. help plz xxxxx...
A. 19 January 2007: I think she will worry however you bring it up. Three years won't be a big age gap in 5 years but right now it's massive. The only way you can get ur mum to be ok with this is to tell her the truth at all times and make sure you respect her wishes ... (read in full...)
Why do girls back off from me? Any advice?
Q. Hi. I have had issuses with my love life i dont seem to be able to hook up with someone.Recently i met this girl i tot we would hit it off , all of a sudden she backs out for no reason at all.....such has been the story of my life. Now i there is ...
A. 19 January 2007: It's impossible to say why this keeps happening but in my experience it comes down to one of three things.
1. You come on too strong and the girl gets scared.
2. You don't come on strong enough and the girl thinks you're not interested. ... (read in full...)
It's a dead relationship but can't break up as I wouldn't want to lose him as a good friend! What can I do?
Q. Hmmm this is pretty complicated..but basically i'm in a dead relationship...I love him but more as a best friend. He means so much to me and I tell him everything. But i just dont have thos feelings anymore..sex feels so wrong..i feel like crying ...
A. 19 January 2007: Okay so what are you going to do? Stay with him forever just so that you don't hurt his feelings by breaking up with him? Stay with him forever and pretend to love him?
He deserves better and so do you. Would you want to be in a relation... (read in full...)
I like him but he doesn't want a gf! What can I do?
Q. i want to go out wit this lad but he dnt wnt a girlfriend wat shall i do ???...
A. 19 January 2007: If he doesn't want a girlfriend stay close to him as a friend and hope he changes his mind in the future. Right now you can't do anything.
CD... (read in full...)
Can one's feelings change the moment something is said. Has anyone experienced this same situation?
Q. Has it ever happened to you that in a relationship something in a moment you can pinpoint, makes you realize that you have seen the light and your feelings towards the other person change? I'll elaborate a little: in my last relationship, i ...
A. 19 January 2007: I think if one comment can change your mind so quickly then it's not a very strong relationship. Sorry.
CD... (read in full...)
At first things were great, but now it feels like I don't matter anymore. Why has he changed towards me?
Q. i've been with my long distance boyfriend for over a year now. Dispite the distance, at first things were great. He made me feel so wanted and loved..which before was something I didn't think i'd ever feel.But now things seem to have changed so ...
A. 19 January 2007: Are you sure he's being distant and it's not just your head playing tricks on you? Sometimes we need reassurance that all is well in our relationships so we imagine problems and hope to be proven wrong. Is there any way you can see your boyfriend ... (read in full...)
I'm a recovering alcoholic. I'm just wondering, in new relationships is it best not to mention it until later?
Q. It's been four weeks since I split with my ex. I can now see what a damaging relationship it was. She had so many issues, played so many mind games and lied so much that I can now see that I should have got out much sooner. I have not made contact ...
A. 19 January 2007: I would be inclined to say to be honest about it from the start. If you're honest and people run away screaming that's their problem but if you're with a special person and don't tell them until much later in your relationship then you risk losing ... (read in full...)
We have great sex but he can't come! Is it me?
Q. My boyfriend never gets off during sex. He says it like his whole body just relaxes and then he is limp. Hes hard the whole time and then just goes limp and doesnt get off. this is a first for me,is he just not attracted to me or does he have ...
A. 19 January 2007: I once went out with a guy who had this problem. It made me feel awful too, really unsexy because he couldn't come with me. He went to the doctors and had to have a small operation which he never told me much about because he was so embarassed but ... (read in full...)
Why is the kissing and getting intimate not making me hot?
Q. Alright so this girl and i have been going out for a few weeks (ive actually known her since we were like 8 or 9) --but we just starting going out. Ive always liked her and i like being around her... But today i went to her house and we hung out ...
A. 19 January 2007: The first thing that occurred to me here is something everyone else has said. You've known each other so long asexually that she has become like a sister and you can't imagine doing anything with her. This might pass in time. In the meantime tell ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and the father told me to keep it a secrte. I told my 2 teenage children and now he wants nothing to do with me! What should I do?
Q. i have been separated for a year and a half. i met a bloke 4 months ago, he swept me off my feet. I didn't know what real love felt like until i met him. 2 months into the relationship i fell pregnant. at first he seemed happy about it, we ...
A. 19 January 2007: It sounds like he knew you wouldn't be able to keep the news to yourself and is using the fact that you told your kids as an excuse when really, he never wanted the baby at all. He's using this now to guilt trip him. You say you want to keep the ... (read in full...)
I don't trust my fiance, but we're getting married in February! Please help.
Q. I just cannot trust 'George'. I have been in a relationship with him for the past 2 years. We broke up once last July when he got engaged to another woman. We only split for a couple of months... and he called off his engagement with that girl ...
A. 19 January 2007: If you can't trust him before the wedding you shouldn't be getting married to him. It'd be wrong to marry anyone you have such a significant doubt about.
CD... (read in full...)
He's goes behind my back and contacts his ex, and takes numbers from other girls! What should I do?
Q. Hi My boyfriend and I went out at university and he cheated a few times (it was long distance). We broke up but a year later we got back together because he is finished universty. I said there was a lot of things that needed to be done on his p...
A. 19 January 2007: I think that maybe asking him to have no contact with other girls was a tiny bit unreasonable on your part but if he agreed and is going against you now that's also kind of wrong. Ask him about friends in work, if he'd like to bring anyone home for ... (read in full...)
When I'm not in the mood for sex my partner gets upset with me. I feel pressured sometimes. What can I do?
Q. I was married up until last year and had an affair with someone else, since then I separated from my husband and I am now living with my new partner. When it was an affair we were having sex at every opportunity! Now we are together properly and ...
A. 19 January 2007: You say yourself that when you were having an affair you had lots of sex. Do you think maybe sex has lost its excitement for you now that it's not "wrong" anymore? Maybe you both need to make the effort to make your sex life a little more exciting ... (read in full...)
I'm crazy about her but she's married! She says she feels 'something' but is commited to her marrige. What can I do?
Q. I'm a single guy in my thirties. Last year i met this great woman at a place i don't go to very often. I asked her out as i thought she was lovely and amazing. She refused as she's married. A couple of months ago, i met with her again at the s...
A. 19 January 2007: You have to step back from this situation. She's married and she has no plans to end her marriage for you or anybody else. She loves her husband. What you're suffering from is unrequited love which is horribly painful but that we all have to go ... (read in full...)
Found out the 36 year old I'm dating is married... he wants me to be his "other lady"... advice so far is mixed!?
Q. Hi, i need some help. I am 21 and this guy i am attracted to is 36yrs.Dont think he is taking advantage before him i have always dated older men.Recently i found out he is married and he admitted.I was very upset but we are still communic...
A. 19 January 2007: Money is so unimportant. There are lots of non married guys who can take care of you financially as well, plus you don't need a man for that. Don't go there with this guy. He's married. In situations like this I always ask people to put themselves ... (read in full...)
I told my bf that I missed him - he said "act like it then!" What do I do?
Q. i need some help or its goin dowwwnnnn!!..uhm..me and my bf been goin out for about 4 months now..and uhm..when i talk on the phone with him, i tell him all the time that i miss him..but these couple of days..he reply back sayin..i doubt it..or "act ...
A. 19 January 2007: He's insecure about your relationship and taking it out on you. It can probably all be solved by a big gesture on your part to show him how important he is to you. Hope this helps.
CD... (read in full...)
We make each other miserable! So should I stay or go?
Q. I recently moved in with my Boyfriend, I have been with him for 5 years, Things were ok but then all of a sudden he seemed to turn. We used to talk and now we dont. We dont get on we make each other miserable. i dont want to leave him but i dont ...
A. 19 January 2007: If you're making each other miserable maybe it's time to take a break and see how you do apart for a while. Potentially you'll miss each other so much that you'll want to save the relationship or maybe it'll just give you the clarity you need and ... (read in full...)
My brother's wife is quite rude to our Mother! What can I do?
Q. My brother's wife gave birth for the 1st time 2 weeks ago, she had lots of help from my mummy and I like doing the shopping or tidy her house b4 she came back from hospital, my parents are wealthy and try to help them anytime, my mom invites them ...
A. 19 January 2007: Your brother's wife just wants some time alone with her new baby and husband although she is being quite rude to your mother. Perhaps she has post natal depression and is finding it hard to cope. Talk to your brother and tell him that you understand ... (read in full...)
He with this other 'perfect' girl now---so how do I get over him?
Q. Hi recently my boyfriend dumped me for another girl who is just perfect.. I've tried getting him back but he doesn't care I even once told him how I feel.. That was a mistake.. Enough said. Anyway, I'm so sick of chasing him and even though I love ...
A. 18 January 2007: Choose a date. Any date within the next month. Chosen one?
Okay that is the day you stop mourning this relationship and move on. Give yourself as much time to cry and eat chocolate ice cream and suffer until then but after that date nothing ... (read in full...)
Should I see a doctor for the lump on my neck, or will it go away?
Q. i currently have a problem, my neck on one side at the bottom nearing the shoulder has some sort of lump while the other side is straight. i would like to know is this worth goin to see a doctor or will it just go away in a few weeks??? plzzz hel...
A. 18 January 2007: My brother had a neck lump that turned out to be nothing but telling you not to worry would be pointless. You need to see a doctor for your own peace of mind.
CD... (read in full...)
I slept with him after the xmas party...but now nothing else has happened. Any advice?
Q. Ive fancied a guy at work for a while but didn't think he liked me until the xmas party were we got chatting and later spent the night together in his hotel room it was amazing and he said the sweetest things to me. We later found out that his ...
A. 18 January 2007: It sounds like he was interested in you but after he found out how his friend felt he decided to stand aside and give his friend the chance. There's only one option. Speak to his friend and tell him you really like the guy you slept with. Tell him ... (read in full...)
He dumps me, refuses to see me and now...wants back in my life! Any thoughts?
Q. About 5 months ago, I began seeing this guy. We really clicked but looking back, our "relationship" basically amounted to week-end hookups with very little communication in between. I wanted more, but never said anything - just tried to go with ...
A. 18 January 2007: He only wants you for sex. Sorry to be harsh. He disappeared for a while but came back as soon as he was horny. Don't put up with it. If he wanted to be with you he would be.
CD... (read in full...)
My GF is always moody and depressed. She says a baby will change that. Should I give her one?
Q. I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a little over a year now, but over the past month she's been becoming more and more moody, getting very depressed saying she wants a baby. I'm only 17 and we're both going to uni next year, and I do...
A. 18 January 2007: When you're depressed you think having a baby will solve everything. After all a baby gives you unconditional love and she obviously doesn't feel like she gets that from anyone else (No offence intended- depressed people tend to push away the people ... (read in full...)
Is he worth it if he's shallow? Or shall I ditch the weight anyway?
Q. hi. im seventeen and overweight (I'm 5'4" and 160lbs). I have a friend who I know likes me, and I like him a lot, but I think he wants me to loose weight before we can date... Im not really sure, but I get that impression, especially since he's ...
A. 18 January 2007: You shouldn't change for anyone else. Only change if you want it for yourself. That's the mistake I made a while back. I went on a massive diet for a guy I liked and when he dumped me I piled a lot (though not all of the weight back on) For what ... (read in full...)
How do you stay with someone who cheated? How do you deal with the betrayal? Any advice?
Q. How do you stay with someone who cheated? Has anyone out there had someone cheat on you but you can't seem to leave them? How do you deal with the fact that you were betrayed? How do you know they want to be with you now? Are things ever the same...
A. 18 January 2007: When I was 17 my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I was absolutely crushed but I would have taken him back if he'd been willing. As it happened he ended up with my best friend although theyve long since broken up. Regardless of all that ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants us to split up because she says she doesn't love me anymore. I'm broken inside! Should I let her go?
Q. Im 23 and gay. My gf is 30. there is no problem with the age. We've been together for 2 years and 3 months. Things were bad between us the past 7 months. But there was still love between us. now she want to splitup because she says she doesnt love ...
A. 18 January 2007: Take a deep breath and let her go. Believe me, I know how hard this is but if you really love her you have to let her go.
CD... (read in full...)
My friend thinks I've been saying nasty things about her and I haven't! But no one believes me. What should I do?
Q. hey im 16 and need advice, a girl i have been mates with for 5 years has started tellin people about my private life and telling people that i've been saying bad things about her ( which i haven't) now i'm losing all my friends and i have no one to ...
A. 18 January 2007: This happened to me when I was a bit younger than you. I ended up going round to her house when I knew her parents would be there and asking her just where she got off telling all these lies about me? She started fake crying and saying that it ... (read in full...)
Meeting this other girl has made me realise how bad my current relationship is!!
Q. Hi, I am in a relationship at the moment and have been for the past 5 years. For the past year or so things haven't been great and my partner has felt very distant and unapproachable. We don't talk as much as we used to and we keep having rows ove...
A. 18 January 2007: You're being incredibly mature by seeing this girl for what she is- a wake up call that everything is not rosy in your relationship rather than as a potential affair. Talk to your partner. Tell her you're feeling things are slipping away from you ... (read in full...)
Am I in love with the man or just the idea of being with someone?
Q. I have recently become incredibly close to a friend of mine who is a good deal older than myself to the extent that we flirt with each other and spend a great deal of our time together. Thing is he lives with another woman his own age. I don't know ...
A. 18 January 2007: I think you're just sex starved. You say you think about having sex with him. Do you imagine going shopping together? walking in the park? any coupley stuff like that? If not then it's clearly all about the sex. This guy is in a relationship and ... (read in full...)
Our 1 year anniversary... ruined when I found the pics on his camera of another girl being all slutty!
Q. For me and my boyfriend's 1 year anniversary we went to the Morakami Museum, took a camera, loads of pics, everything was perfect. We sat down and ate, so I wanted to see some of our pics that we've taken so far. Going through them I saw pictures he ...
A. 18 January 2007: You know what? It may not be right but loads of people, especially girls around your age pose for photos like this. It seems your boyfriend's only mistake was not telling her he wasn't comfortable with it. You asked him if anything happened between ... (read in full...)
I'm married but still in love with me ex. Should I give it a go with my ex and risk loosing everthing with my husband?
Q. I'm married, but still love my ex. I have been married for nearly a year now, together for nearly 5, but I am still in love with my ex. We regulary text each other and occasionally see each other (not sexually). We both get on really well but he w...
A. 18 January 2007: Nobody can answer this question for you although I do have to wonder why you got married when you were still in love with someone else. It's really important that you make this decision and then stick by it. Really you owe it to your marriage to try ... (read in full...)
I broke up with my girlfriend for various reasons but now I'm wondering if we should give it another go. Should I?
Q. I need help please. I have been in the relationship for 2 years with this girl, I was planning my life with her, because I loved her. We had our problems as well, she was very short tempered, and wanted everything her way, I resented that and stayed ...
A. 18 January 2007: Often when a relationship ends we instantly forget all the bad stuff about it and can only focus on the good stuff. I think that's what you're doing. This is totally natural but it's not healthy. You have to be the one to make this decision. If you ... (read in full...)
Should I sit back and give her time to decide or should I not give up without a fight?
Q. Hi everyone this is my first time so i would really appreciante some help !! About 5 months ago i met up with a old school friend who had just split up with her fella we went out for a couple of drinks and she told me about her 18 month old son ( ...
A. 18 January 2007: Give her plenty of support. Tell her you appreciate that she wants to do what's best for her son and that you totally support that but that you think her own happiness makes up a crucial part of her son's and if she's not in love with him it'd be ... (read in full...)
He cheated on me but then told me he made a big mistake and is sorry. Should I take him back?
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for 17 months. he told me yesterday that he has cheated on me. he told me the reason why he cheated was because we were not getting on and he wanted to finnish. but he realised he still loved me and still wanted to be ...
A. 18 January 2007: It depends. Can you forgive him completely? Will you be able to trust him again? If you can, and incidentally that makes you an amazingly strong person, then get back with him but if you can't, and you're equally amazing for being able to admit it ... (read in full...)
She broke up with her bf to be with me but I don't think she's completely over him. How can I help her move on?
Q. i have a wonderful relationship with this girl but didn't know she was attached, until she told me so when i confessed my feelings for her. but in the end she chose to break up with her bf of one year for me. i love her and it hurts me to see her ...
A. 18 January 2007: What your girl has done is flung herself headfirst from one relationship to another without giving herself time to grieve for the end of the last one. What would help her most, although I don't think this answer will be popular with you, would be to ... (read in full...)
I don't feel like I have a home anymore. Anyone else ever felt like this? How'd you cope?
Q. After a brief period of time, i ddnt feel at home anymore with my parents, i went to visit a friend 600 miles away and loved it, so i moved down a few months after..my dad was ok with it my mum hit the roof..but their both fine with it now, tho me ...
A. 18 January 2007: I completely feel like that. I'm not at home in my uni city or in my home city anymore. Stick with the place you moved to if you're happy there. It'll start to feel like home in time. As for your mum she's just missing you and taking it out on you ... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and my parents seem not to like the idea of me dating. They don't trust me or my bf. What should I do?
Q. i have a boyfriend who is 16 and im 15. i'm really happy with him but i haven't told mum and dad about him, i have been spending heaps of time with him and mum asked me if i was going out with him but i said no because i was afraid of what she would ...
A. 18 January 2007: They don't trust you because you lied to them. Sit them down and tell them that you've just started having a relationship with this guy but that you plan to take it slowly and will fully respect their wishes by only going to his house when his mum ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is confused about his sexuality. How do I help him??
Q. My boyfrind of four years and has told me he thinks he is gay. We have a child together. I have told him to go and speak to someone but he wont he said he is confused. What can i do to help? I dont want to lose him but i dont want him to be unhappy. ...
A. 18 January 2007: First of all well done for coping in such a mature and sensible way. You may be right that your boyfriend is just depressed or perhaps he really is gay but whichever it is you're right that he needs to talk to someone who isn't you about it. Maybe ... (read in full...)
After three years, he said "I love you" and I said it back and laughed. But I really meant it! What shall I do?
Q. Right. so my best friend 'vicky' was guy coin out with this guy called 'jonny' and jonny had a housemate called 'rob'.. as general introductions go.. i met rob and thought he was cool. we all went out to a club together and we ended up back at ...
A. 18 January 2007: You do love him, you just reacted inappropriately in a highly charged situation. We all do it trust me. Ever wondered why you always want to laugh in the middle of a two minute silence? It's the same thing. It's not that you're not serious about ... (read in full...)
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