A
female
age
41-50,
*racyB
writes:I am unsure whether to trust my boyfriend of one year. I knew about my boyfriend before we started seeing each other and I know he has cheated on one girlfirend with someone from Spain and dumped the English Girlfriend eventually to get together with the Spanish girl, but he didn't do it straight away. Recently he attended a three week traiign course with work which had six girls and five men on it. I was ill whilst he was on the course and he called me every night twice of three times and especially just before we went to sleep. On the fnial Thursday, I had a day operation in hospital and came home about five o clock and he called me then to see how I was, he then said he was goingout that nmight with everyone from the course. I expected to get at least a text to check on me that evening but got nothing!!! In fact I didn't hear from him until eleven thirty the following day. He came home that evening and three hours after the course finished his mobile phone started ringing and it was one of the girls from his course. I confronted him saying that I thought this was either strange or clingy ad he told me that it was niether that he loved me and to shut up worrying. Since then I have found out that she has called him and him her on the following Monday and he told me that they had just emailed at work. Please help.... does this sound like a man that is cheating? Am I being unreasonable thinking there is something not quite right here??? Any advice woulf be gratefully accepted.
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (24 January 2007):
 His actions mean nothing in particular. They could mean either. I would say people tend to let their guard down a little while away. We're out of our environment and having some fun. We mix socially and do things, not bad things, we might not have the time to do at home. For instance, you might not go out often without your partner. But, while away, the group goes out. Should he stay in his room because you're insecure? If he goes out, can he only talk to males becasue you'rre insecure? These aren't realistic expectations and you'll drive him away if you force him to live up to them.
Let's be honest. It's difficult, I've been in a similar situation. FACT....he went away....he stayed in constant contact with you....he was in mixed company.....HE HAD FUN WITHOUT YOU (that's the hard one to accept).....He came home....he made some friends while away....he COULD find her to be pretty and nice....that doesn't mean you're not....that doesn't mean he'd cheat.....he could if he wanted to though....if it wasn't her it could be the next person he meets.....he either does that sort of thing or her doesn't.
Now, if he lied about phoning, that's not good. Find out why. Lies are not good but if you were badgering her, what could he do?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2007): I wouldn't trust him, it sounds pretty suspicious to me.
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A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (24 January 2007):
 He might have told you that they were just emailing because he had seen you worry about this kind of thing before and didn't want to make you troubled.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (24 January 2007):
 Just because he's cheated before doesn't mean he'll cheat again. I'm sure you've gone on nights out with the girls before and forgotten all about texting him before bed because you've been having too much fun. As for the girl texting and emailing him, it might mean something, but it might not. They might just be good friends. I understand it's hard to give someone who has cheated the benefit of the doubt but until you have something more concrete I wouldn't wreck your relationship with insecurities.
CD
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