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... Send *d206 a private message | | | *d206's profile:Hi, my name is Cat and I'm 22 years old. I live in various cities in the UK since the city where I study and where my family live are different. I'm currently just out of a relationship and enjoying the single life for a while. I don't know that I am qualified to help people but I'd like to try. I've had a lot of experiences in my life and despite being quite young I'm always helping my friends with their problems. I'd like the chance to help all of you too. Feel free to private message me anytime.If you do however, please include some details of your problem as I answer a lot here and can't always remember specific problems. With big hugs, Cat xx |
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My bf was due back last month and has extended his studies abroad for 4 months w/ no explanation! I love him, but I feel I should move on.
Q. I feel am loosing him. I have been in a long distance relationship for 3 years without seeing or meeting my boyfriend, who went abroad for further studies. We have been communicating everyday by phone,mail and text messages until the for the last...
A. 22 January 2007: You say like you feel he needs the space so maybe give it a week or so and then send a bright and breezy email telling him how life is going, but avoiding any deep and meaningful stuff.
CD... (read in full...)
After three years, he said "I love you" and I said it back and laughed. But I really meant it! What shall I do?
Q. Right. so my best friend 'vicky' was guy coin out with this guy called 'jonny' and jonny had a housemate called 'rob'.. as general introductions go.. i met rob and thought he was cool. we all went out to a club together and we ended up back at ...
A. 18 January 2007: You do love him, you just reacted inappropriately in a highly charged situation. We all do it trust me. Ever wondered why you always want to laugh in the middle of a two minute silence? It's the same thing. It's not that you're not serious about ... (read in full...)
How can I stop my drunken cheating?
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for 5 months now, i love him very much but iv cheated on him a few times all of them have been drunken mistakes, but i jus cant seem to stop doin it. i only told him about one kiss and he seemed ok with it but this was ...
A. 18 January 2007: They're all drunken mistakes which makes me think you have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. If you can't trust yourself when you've had a few stop drinking because itll only get you into trouble and your boyfriend really doesn't deserve to be ... (read in full...)
We split and he said never to contact him again. I want to apologize, but also feel he over-reacted - what should I do?
Q. I split with my boyfriend just before Christmas. I did love him, but didn't feel that 'butterflies' thing that I have had with previous boyfriends. He was a recovering alcoholic (though he had not drunk for two and a half years) and he had declared ...
A. 18 January 2007: Write to him because then he has the option whether to reply and the ball is in his court. Tell him you regret the way things worked out and you'd like to be friends and that he knows where to find you if he feels the same.
CD... (read in full...)
My bf ex told me they were still together so I dumped him. He said she was lying. Who should I believe?
Q. Ok well the thing is that me and my boyfriend had just started going out. The sweetest guy ever but in the back of my head i thought he was too good to be true so when his ex girlfriend wanted to start talking mess to me about them still being ...
A. 18 January 2007: Okay, first piece of advice NEVER LISTEN TO EXES. They are sometimes bitter and will lie to get what they want. Your boyfriend doesn't have to forgive you because you have treated him very badly. The only thing you can do is apologise profusely and ... (read in full...)
Did I scare him off or did he lose interest?
Q. I was in a relationship but met someone else, He started telling me he was falling in love with me not long after, I decided to move out to be with him because he acted as if he was crazy for me. Once I was in my own place he started backing off. ...
A. 18 January 2007: Are you sure his marriage was over in the time you were seeing him? It sounds very much like you were a little extra fun to his marriage but how he never intended for it to be more than that and that's how you've got hurt.
CD... (read in full...)
My gf says she doesn't love me anymore! What am supposed to do? Help me plz
Q. my girlfriend say's she doesn't love me anymore, what am i meant to do? i have been with her for the last 9 months, she say that her feelings have gone and she doesnt feel the same way anymore, but only a week ago she told me she loves me, i really ...
A. 18 January 2007: You can't do anything I'm afraid. If she doesn't love you anymore she can't change her feelings. The only thing you can do is stay close to her and hope that in the future she changes her mind.
CD... (read in full...)
My dad's girlfriend may be cheating on him I've gt proof! Should I tell him? Please help!
Q. I hope someone will reply to this because i've got something on my mind i just need to write down. My dad has been with his girlfriend for 2years, she lives with us and i've just found really explicit messages sent in the history of our computer ...
A. 18 January 2007: Despite the fact that you love your Dad I don't think it's your place to tell him as such. What would probably be better is to tell the girlfriend what you've found and ask her to explain it. I can't think of one right now but it's possible there's ... (read in full...)
Worried that my husband is being a "sex tourist" in South Thailand...
Q. My husband is vacationing in South Thailand. Many people have told me that chances are if he's there with his friends, that he's taking advantage of Thailands notorious 'Sex tourism' and that the vast majority of western people visiting Thailand end ...
A. 18 January 2007: I'm sorry that your husband forgot your birthday but I'm sure being in a foreign country with a big time difference just confused his brain.
It's true that some people go to Thailand for the sex industry but don't forget the thousands of people w... (read in full...)
I saw some photos of my bf posing with some girls and looking quite 'chummy' with them. I honestly don't like it but am I over reacting?
Q. my boyfriend (21 yrs old) had gone home to his home country for a month, dec-jan, and i saw some of his pictures there with these girls, he's holding them and they're hugging him real close as in with their arms completely around him and he's ...
A. 17 January 2007: You say home country which implies he's from a country far away. Some countries have different etiquette when it comes to posing for photos. And after all theyre only photos and he's let you see them. If he was cheating on you he wouldn't let you ... (read in full...)
We have a lot in common and I love him thing is... we've just met! What should I do?
Q. hey everyone I got this problem ok here it goes I like this boy who is 17 and he lives in South Carolina and he called me last night and we have been dating for a day but my problem is i love him and yes we have alot in common but we just met so ...
A. 17 January 2007: Slow down! You do not love him after meeting him once. You're infatuated with him which can be harder to deal with. Slow it down and take your time. It'll scare him off if you rush things.
CD... (read in full...)
I broke up with my bf and now he has a new gf, but since then he and I have slept together. Should I remain as his 'dirty little secret'?
Q. Ok so i am in a sticky situation me and my bf broke up nearly 2 months ago, we still have really strong feelings for eachother, only problem is he has started seeing someone else now. Me and my ex bf fell out for quite sometime things were really a...
A. 17 January 2007: If it really meant more he would have finished with his girlfriend and come back to you by now. I'm sorry but while it meant more to you I'm fairly sure it was just sex to him.
CD... (read in full...)
Should I choose Sociology or Religious studies as a GCSE subject? plz help me choose.
Q. i'm 14 from England, London and i'm in year 9 and its time for my GCSE options. i already know which ones i'm going to take as i really really really would love to become a lawyer, i have my career planned out already. but the thing is i hate my ...
A. 17 January 2007: It won't make any difference to your dream of becoming a lawyer whichever one you choose. The most important thing for a legal degree is being able to speak and write well and both these subjects will set you up for A Levels involving writing and ... (read in full...)
I'm 18 and my left breast is smaller that the right breast. Is this normal?
Q. I'm 18 and my left breast is slightly smaller than the other, is this normal? Is there anything I can do to physically even them out, not with padding but the actual breast? I do girly push ups and light weight lifting to perk them, but is there a ...
A. 17 January 2007: Hell yes! Practically all girls have one breast slightly bigger than the other. I know I do! It's only when it's a big difference that you should see your doctor. Until then don't worry about it.
CD... (read in full...)
I'm a Christian but I'm not a virgin. My bf is also a Christian. Do you think he'll react badly if I told him?
Q. I'm a Christian, and 21 years old, but I made a huge mistake and gave my virginity away when I was 19. I gave it away to a man who ended up being emotionally abusive and I broke up with him. Later I was depressed and didn't date anyone for awhile. I ...
A. 17 January 2007: As far as I'm concerned Christianity is all about forgiveness. Therefore if your boyfriend can't forgive your past indiscretions he's not a great Christian. We all make mistakes, especially when we're young. The important thing is not to be ashamed ... (read in full...)
My family doesn't approve of my bf beause of his 'gangster' image. What should I do?
Q. hey i've got a problem here. i've been with this boy since 8th grade but my family doesn't see what i see in him am not sure if its cuz he's a gangster or what but whatever the reason i want them to like him for what he is not what he appears to be. ...
A. 17 January 2007: It's not your parents who are dating this guy, it's you. Therefore it shouldn't matter what they think of him but if you really want to sort this out get them together once and for all. Encourage your boyfriend to be charming and engaging and warn ... (read in full...)
We broke up a while ago but I still have feelings for him. Do you think he feels the same for me?
Q. hi I was in a realtionship for a year and a half. It was a serious relationship. We started as friends 9 months ago and then we had a relationship for a year and a half. Our relationship was great . However the guy was always stressed he was ...
A. 17 January 2007: Give him time. He said he needed to concentrate on his last year of uni and you're in no position to move on if you still love him as much as you say you do. He'll be finished uni in a few months. Wait and see what happens but don't pressure him ... (read in full...)
I'm with my bf but it doesn't really feel like we're in a relationship. I don't know what to do about it. Help plz
Q. I have recently started going out with a lad that i've known for 2 years and we used to mess about all the time,but it doesn't feel as though i'm in a relationship as he doesnt really seem bothered. I don't know what to do about it....
A. 17 January 2007: Everyone needs different things out of their relationship. Some people (usually the women) need constant reassurance that everything is okay, that their partner still likes them, and some (usually the men) are happy to go with the flow and assume ... (read in full...)
My bf is really affectionate with me but I can't be affectionate with him due to my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. How can I make him understand?
Q. I am a 39 yr old female who has been in a relationship for over 10 years. I man has always been affectionate and loves to talk. I guess he is every woman's dream. Don't get me wrong, he is not perfect. But he is close enough. The problem is me. I ...
A. 17 January 2007: Do you receive counselling for your PTSD? If so take your boyfriend along for a few weeks and let him see how it works. If you're not in counselling maybe ask your doctor to refer you. Even if you've had counselling in the past you obviously still ... (read in full...)
Can guys sleep with girls and not get emotionally attached?
Q. I have been sleeping with a guy whos one of my friends, its been going on for a few months now, most weekends that we go out together he ends up at my house. At first i was ok about it, because i had just come out of a long relationship and it was ...
A. 17 January 2007: Unfortunately most guys can be in a sexual relationship without wanting anything more, just like some girls can but it's generally guys who fare better in this type of relationship. If you're getting attached you need to speak to him about it and if ... (read in full...)
Going out with a younger guy (24, I'm 33)... Do I wait until he's ready to settle or move on now?
Q. My boyfriend is 24 and im 33 i am ready to settle down get married and have children but he says hes too young yet. What do i do time is running out for me. Do i wait till he is ready or fine someone else am i wasting my time. I dont know what to ...
A. 17 January 2007: You need to ask him if he thinks he'll be ready anytime soon. Tell him how much you want to get married and have kids and how you want it to be with him but make sure he's aware that time is running out for you kids wise and that you need to start ... (read in full...)
She has no interest in sex aged 26...
Q. my girlfriend has no interest in sex. she's 26 yrs old. is this normal?...
A. 17 January 2007: It depends so much on the person but I agree that at 26 there's probably a reason for it. Is it that she doesn't want sex at all or just that she doesn't want it as much as you do because some people have different sex drives. However if she never ... (read in full...)
My husband died almost 2 years ago and I've become very close to his brother... would this be right?
Q. my husband husband died almost two yrs ago my brother in law and I have become good friends He thinks it's wierd to even think our relationship could go any futher. (what would family think...friends think..ect. ) I have know problem ( hopeless ...
A. 17 January 2007: This is such a hard one to answer. I'm sure nobody in your family expects you to stay single for the rest of your life and two years is quite enough time to mourn but it will be controversial if you start seeing your brother in law. If it's what you ... (read in full...)
Worried that my pregnancy will interfere with my sister's wedding!
Q. Dear Cupid, My question is that I have just found out I am pregnant - it's a happy result and my husband and I are delighted! However, my due date is 2 weeks before my sister's (who is also my best friend)wedding! I feel so bad that I can not be t...
A. 17 January 2007: I'm sure she won't think you're being selfish! If it's your first baby it'll almost certainly be late anyway so you should be free to attend your sister's wedding without problems. I bet she'll be so excited about being an aunt that it won't even ... (read in full...)
Should I come out to my rough and ready family?
Q. i am bi-sexuall and crossdresser i come from an lets say an hardknock family should i come out or should i remain doing it in private...
A. 17 January 2007: I think the cross dressing is a private hobby that nobody really needs to know about. As for your bisexuality however it really is up to you whether or not to tell your family. If you do choose to tell them make sure you pick the right time. I don't ... (read in full...)
My gay male partner's ex wife is making his life a misery... still
Q. I'm 34 yo male and my male partner's ex wife is causing a lot of strain in our relationship. She had an affair and left him, and took the 3 boys away, which really hurt him. He never cheated on her, buried his sexuality for a long time, and was a ...
A. 17 January 2007: She's obviously having problems at the thought of you and her husband being together and she needs some professional help. I think it has to be your partner who's the one to suggest it though. If he's not sure about it encourage him to talk to ... (read in full...)
This guy keeps flirting with my girlfriend because he likes her. And I want him to leave her alone but she doesn't have the heart to tell him. What should I do?
Q. This guy likes my girlfriend and always tells her that he likes her, and that i don't deserve her, that he wants to be with her and all that stuff. My girlfriend is 100% loyal and im with her 90% of the day and the other 10% we're on the phone with ...
A. 17 January 2007: I think your girlfriend is right. You're the winner in this situation. No matter what happens your girl is with you because she loves you, not him. Yes, what he's saying is out of line but it's for your girlfriend to tell him that and if she refuses ... (read in full...)
My man is always on my mind... miss him when he's not around
Q. Hi everyone Does anyone have any advice as im in a great relationship my man and i really like each other but sometimes he goes away with work and i miss him so bad. Even when he is around when we both go off to work I really miss him. I see hi...
A. 17 January 2007: Yes. Whatever you do don't tell him you feel like this as it will scare him off. Try and subtly up the number of times a week you see each other and get some hobbies/go see your own friends when you can't be with him to distract yourself. You've ... (read in full...)
Can't stand to be without my ex... what can I do?
Q. My girlfriend finished with me 2 days ago, the reason she said was we grow apart witch I think is rubish. We been together for 4 cracking year! I know she still love and she keep texting me ervery hour. I cant stand it without her and i want to be ...
A. 17 January 2007: Hey, my fellow welshman. Unfortunately the nature of break ups is that the person who wants out always gets their way. It's unfair yes but if you really love her you have to let her go. Holding onto her will just drive her further away.
CD... (read in full...)
Been with my bf for 5 years but he has no photos of me up in his house. Should I be worried by this?
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together 5 years,in his home he doesn't have anything to suggest he's in a relationship, not even a photo of me or me and him together. I believe it's to say he is single and available,am i right in thinking this?...
A. 17 January 2007: Guys aren't like us girls. They don't like cushions, photo frames or any of the little homely touches we love. I bet that if you look really hard you'll realise he doesn't have any pics at all at his place, except maybe the obligatory one of his ... (read in full...)
I want to see my boyfriend as often as I can but I dn't want to be overbearing. How do I get the right balance?
Q. Hi everyone My question is just how much is too much time to wanna spend with your bf. I wanna give my bf time to himself but also wanna see him loads Id luv to see him everyday but dont wanna be too much so how much can i ask if he wa...
A. 17 January 2007: I think the best relationships are where both people get their share of space from the other. Look at older couples you know. The best ones know to let the other out of their sight every now and then. I reckon you should aim for seeing each other ... (read in full...)
I've never had a boyfriend and I really want one. Guys always seem to think I just want friendship. Where am I going wrong?
Q. dear cupid i dont know what is wrong with me. i have such low confidence and find it so hard to get a boyfriend. i lost my mother a year ago and my best friend last august and i have not motivation anymore. not having a boyfriend never used to...
A. 17 January 2007: "I don't know what's wrong with me. I have such low self confidence" There's your answer. Guys run a mile from girls with low self confidence. Trust me, I have no confidence whatsoever and find it really hard to attract guys. You mention you ... (read in full...)
How do I stop having a crush on my husband's cousin - I'm not sure how I'll act once I've had a drink around him!
Q. I'm just really looking for some advice. I'n not sure whether I am in love with my husbands cousin or whether it's just a schoolgirl like crush on him. I have only been married to my husband for almost a year and have a young daughter, but I ...
A. 17 January 2007: I'm sure it's painful but it does sound like just a crush. You're married now and you have a daughter and you have to put her first. She deserves to grow up in a two parent family with people who love her. You need to see this crush for what it is, ... (read in full...)
There were photos of another girl on his phone. He also meets w/ his ex but says he dislikes her. I don't understand!
Q. My boyfriend and his ex were together for 2 years and were engaged. before he met me, he liked this girl i have met her once. while i was with him he kept looking at her. i looked at his phone once too, and there was a few photos of her on there. he ...
A. 17 January 2007: I'm totally over my ex but I still have a pic of him on my phone because I rarely get to see him and he's still a mate. I also have loads of pics of other male friends on my phone who mean nothing to me. He probably feels responsible for his ex, ... (read in full...)
My bf was due back last month and has extended his studies abroad for 4 months w/ no explanation! I love him, but I feel I should move on.
Q. I feel am loosing him. I have been in a long distance relationship for 3 years without seeing or meeting my boyfriend, who went abroad for further studies. We have been communicating everyday by phone,mail and text messages until the for the last...
A. 17 January 2007: Trust me, from someone who has studied abroad it is SO SO hard to think of anyone but yourself when you're away. Everything is different when you live in a different country and it's so hard to find friends etc. You end up latching onto anyone who ... (read in full...)
Am I being too demanding? Tell me what you think.
Q. I have invited some friends, my brother, his girlfriend and her daughter for dinner. My partner is cooking and it is his birthday. He has planned to make curry, which he does from scratch by grinding up all the spices etc. My small son it going ...
A. 17 January 2007: I think maybe you and your partner are being slightly demanding. It's an extra half hour he's waiting for you to eat. Surely it's not that much of a hassle to wait 30 minutes?... (read in full...)
When I have sex, my vagina smells weird...why is is?
Q. im a little curious about this sex thing..uhm..why does everytime i had sex with my bf..my vagina startin to smell weird..is there anything i can prevent the smell?..i need some advice please!!...
A. 17 January 2007: When you're attracted to someone your body produces chemicals called pheromones that are supposed to attract your male to you. Think about it, has he ever complained about the smell? No, because for him it's a turn on.
CD... (read in full...)
She has a boyfriend but we agreed to become 'shag buddies'!
Q. Hi there is this girl at my work and one night me and her got drunk and admitted over the phone we really like each other. Her boyfriend is in uni and she will be going to uni this year. We speak to each other on the phone for like long periods of ...
A. 17 January 2007: Step back for a minute and think how you would feel if she were your girlfriend and she was shagging someone else behind your back? If that doesn't tell you to break this off you have serious problems with self esteem.
CD... (read in full...)
He was sending love letters to his ex and now I've found a Xmas card saying the should hook up... what should I do?
Q. Hi there, this is a long going problem which I have tried to overcome and rise above but it's eating me up inside. I love my boyfriend, but what I can't understand is that he is still in contact with his ex girlfriend who lives in Germany. He has...
A. 17 January 2007: Okay, first thing- Is she german? I'm not sure if that matters eitherway since that is just the way that some germans end their letters. I studied the language for five years and always ended my letters like that. Even if she isn't german she's ... (read in full...)
Bf wants us to move in together but I'm scared he'll turn out to be a cheat like guys in my past. What shall I do?
Q. ive met a great man who loves me and my seven year old child. He wants us to get our own place but im scared. What if he turns out like the many other men in my life a cheat? I have no reason why and trust him. What shall i do? ...
A. 17 January 2007: It all depends on whether you want to be alone forever or not because that's where this attitude is taking you. If you're unwilling to take a risk on any guy then you're never going to find happiness . Yes he might turn out like all the othr guys or ... (read in full...)
Am I being petty? Tell me what you think.
Q. Hi. Am i being petty? I went with my partner to his works do on saturday night. We went last year and it was fantastic, he was so attentive to me. We have been together now 20months and engaged. Well, a woman who he gets on well at work sat on our ...
A. 17 January 2007: I think maybe you were being a little oversensitive, especially since he apologised and gave a credible explanation why he wasn't able to tell you. These work events are really all about socialising with your work mates. I'm sure he didn't intend ... (read in full...)
My bf can't make up his mind between me and his son's Mother! Should I dump him?
Q. hi i am a single mom since the breakup with the kids dad i found someone i like we have gone out a year.well he has a son and he goes back and forth between me and his son mom. he leaves me then comes back in a week or 2. well he tells me me and him ...
A. 17 January 2007: I think you owe it to yourself and your kids to be in a happy, stable relationship and I don't think this guy can offer you that when he doesn't know what he wants himself. Obviously his son will always be number one. You know from the way you feel ... (read in full...)
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