A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I really like this boy and he really likes me, He asked me to give him a blowjob next weekend and I said yes, he wants to do more than that and i said maybe. I love him sooo much and he said he really likes me but hes got a girlfriend. What shall I do?? I cant forget about him.. He's 15 and im 13. What shall I do??
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male
reader, ridethewave  +, writes (20 March 2011):
You should consider yourself lucky , I too was in ur shoes even before ur age, You have got to already know that u r at very least bi-sexual depending on how u feel about girls, I did it with a boy neighbor of mine and it was exciting to the point that one more of me and my friend who I experimented sex with found another neighbor who found out about our normal play games of curiosity and asked if he could try it to. We three spent the whole summer together doing well u know what! What I'm trying to say is you have an understanding about yourself way ahead of most adolesants your age,and aleast u r being honest about ur feelings for the same sex while others such as myself will closet themselves for many many years creating a hidden secret that sometimes will be a secret to the day that person dies, which is a truly sad sad thing. So you and your special friend should share your best years of ur life enjoing each other and later if you find yourself wanting the opposite sex than aleast u had the guts and the knowledge of what your heart has been telling you to do, for only u know how long right. If you know that u love him tell him and teasure these wonderful, curious, experimental, magical times of your beginning stages of your teenage years that for most teens can be the most difficult time. Let him know and I assume that he does because of your intimate experiance with him, but u might want keep it between each because not everybody your age understands, let alone will be brave enough actually to admit it. Hopefully ur friend feels the same about you which I would be surprised if he didn't. Because after all he asked you first, I just hope that he returned the same intimate and most extreme type of human feelings any human being can have for another weather it be a person of the same OR opposite sex. YOU ARE A PERFECTLY NORMAL YOUNG MAN WITH INTELLIGENCE BEYOUND TO BOOT. Anyone else's opinions, or beliefs, no matter who it is, does not know what your true inner feelings are. Young man enjoy these precious days of your life, and listen to your heart, for that is truly the really most honest decision making ability that I know from my experience's in this thing called life. YOU TWO ENJOY THESE YEARS, AND FOLLOW YOUR HEART!!! O and be carefull!!! Ride the Wave. .
A
female
reader, CntResistDaex3 +, writes (26 July 2010):
 OK sweetie i'm 13 and that is not something i would agree to do no matter how in love with him i am . i feel like i'm disrespecting myself . i am in no position to tell you what to do but if you do decide to go trough with it make sure its because you want to and not because he wants you to do it . if you tell him no and he loses interest he's wasn't the one . don't lower your standards because of some guy you think your in love with . i'm just saying think about it .
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): hey i'm 16 and i have had a boyfriend for over a year almost a year and a half now. He would never force me to do something like that. my opinion this guy doesnt really like you he is just using you. dont do it. you'll get a reputation as a slut and its just not worth it. if he really likes you and you "love" him he'll wait and it would be better if you were more comfortable with it anyways.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2007): Well if he has a girl means that he is cheeting and he doesnt realy like you, he just whants you for sex. so i recomend that u dont. I recomend that u find a guy that realy likes u and if u whant ucan give it 2 him. and u r cool, seems that u r interested in pleasing your man, I wish all girls where like u.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007): heyyy ! okay im 14 years old and this guy joshh he really likes mee and i like him too and hes trying to get with me for sex like what should i doo ?????????
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2007): ok im 13 too and he asked me too well not your guy mine and were just friends with benefits but i said how about when were in high schoool he ok so now your situation he is totally using you once you give it to him he will ignore you or want more than that and thats not love you just like him alot and he has another girl hes ussing you because his girl wont do it for him.....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2007): Wait until you're older, its stupid that people get involved in sex at such an early age. if you do decide to do it, just think about yourself, your reputation, your mental and emotional state, something like this happening to a young girl can really mess with her head and lead to you never trusting anyone again. The fact of it all hunny is that he's using you.Guys like that can get pushy and aggressive, he could hurt you physically and NO guy is worth that, no matter how much you like them.You're 13, too young and too vulnerable. Just think of the poor girl he's cheating on, I mean, imagine if you were that girl, loving him as much a you do, and you find out that he's cheating on you, how heart broken would you be???If he does leave her for you, I guarantee you he'll cheat on you, then leave you for another girl. He sounds like a loser and a player, and to be honest, you sound like a sweet decent girl and i know you can do much better.Just think about it ok X
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2007): he's just using you. i guarntee it. dont listen to him. you'll regret it, i promise
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (31 January 2007):
 Don't sacrifice your good reputation to please this cheater. Stay your sweet self and save all this for the right guy at the right time. What kind of loser schedules his blowjobs anyway? Be strong and just say no.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2007): Your only 13, trust me if you do aything else with this guy you will just end up broken hearted and its not worth it. you should wait for, 1: when your older and 2: when your with a guy thats also with you, not with another girl.next time your with him , just think, he goes back to his other girlfriend and probably has sex and stuff with her too, lets face it darling, hes using you, it hurts like hell to know that and it feels better to ignore it, but its not better, really ive been there 5 times already and im only 17. i have been with another man who has a girlfriend and i broke it off because its not right. trust me love, just wait and you will find a man who loves you and wants to be with you and not with another girl. trust me, its worth the wait when you find that perfect man who is yours and just yours, i should know, i waited and now ive got the one for mejust think about it and what it will all turn out to be like in the long run, i guarantee you, this guy will hurt you. take care of yourself ok XxX
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female
reader, x.Helpful.Cupid.x +, writes (26 January 2007):
 Hiya.
I also love a guy who is older than me. If he asked you to give him a blowjob, then thats ok, but if you then change your mind and he gets annoyed/distant then he is probably just using you. And honey, dont worry, he might not be and might generly like you but you have to be careful. The guy i like also has a girlfriend, but i havent messed him around because i dont want to hurt him or the girl. But this guy shouldnt ask you to take it further, YOUR 13!!! And after that, you never know what he might ask. Just be careful.
Good luck xx
Also let me know how it goes.
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female
reader, violentviolet +, writes (24 January 2007):
 Hey honey,A guy friend of mine once told me that most guys can easily split girls they meet up into 2 categories... girls who are 'girlfriend material' and girls who 'fun for now'. Guys will never consider 'Fun for now' girls as girlfriends, because they just do not respect them enough. So if you want to be girlfriend material (which i think you probably do), then you need to handle yourself with dignity and respect, which means putting what is BEST FOR YOU first. If he really likes you, then he won't ask you to do this. If he really likes you, he won't mind that you have changed your mind.And if he doesn't, then he's really not worth it. Which I know is the last thing you want to hear right now, but honestly, honey, you are worth so much more than the guy who cheats on his girlfriend and uses girls. You have the rest of your life to find a guy who loves you back. If you treat yourself with respect then other people will too, and guys will want to take care of you rather than use you, which is what you deserve. Don't get yourself a reputation- you are better than that.Please let me know how it goes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2007): Do you not think you should be concentrating on our homeworks right now at this age. Why on earth would you even be considering having sex at this age? Do you even understand the concept of having sex? Where are your Mummy and daddy?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2007): If you love your horse, would you give your horse a blowjob? How would you know that horse loves you back? Maybe because the horse nuzzles you and licks your face lovingly?
Let's put it into perspective. There's a guy in a club. He goes up to you, and you realized he is a very hot looking guy. After a few chats and possibly a few caresses here and there, he tells you, "I think you're sweet. I've never met anyone like you ever before! I really like you, and wish to be with you. What do you think? Do you think you can like me too?"
Then you proceed to follow him to his car as he offered a ride for you back to your place. Instead, he takes you to some back alley and continues to molest you, but you like it, though you're wondering whether this is too fast or whether he is sincere. You end up having sex with him, then he takes you home.
After that, you call him like crazy, but he doesn't answer your calls. In fact, you find out he has a girlfriend. Then you somehow got a hold of him and he tells you he loves you but he can't leave his girlfriend or she will be heart broken. Being young and inexperienced, never having a chance to witness how the world really is, you end up sleeping with him again. After that, again, you can't get a hold of him.
Eventually, over a course of a year or two, you realized after reading through the thousand of so posts here at DearCupid about girls with a similar dilemma as yours, that this guy you love is simply just using you for sex. Though somehow you really love him, but you don't know why.
Of course, I'm just giving you an example here. You may argue that you're young, and you're not a clubber, and he's not some player, but hey, you're here asking us what you think you should do, etc. I'm giving you an opportunity to think with your own brains and try to make your own choices. You'll probably end up blowing him anyway, then possibly have sex with him. Well, that's your choice. We can't tell you who to love or not to love.
Do what you feel is right.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2007): Umm, are you kidding me?
I know you're only 13, so it's hard for me to be too hard on you, b/c the way you're thinking is, unfortunately, all too common at that age. but seriously. you wrote to this site for advice, so please, consider listening to the advice that's given and ACTUALLY acting on it.
WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU GIVE THIS GUY A BLOW JOB???
How do you know he likes you? Because he takes you out on dates and introduces you to his friends as the girl he likes? Because he's really excited for everyone to meet you and see how much he likes you?
Honey, when guys *really* like a girl, they want to show her off- they don't want to think about other girls.
This is going to be really hard for you to hear, and I'm really sorry that this is the way you have to find out, b/c it's something that all girls find out eventually, and it always sucks and we all cry the first time we do. Babe, he is not being truthful with you. I know you don't want to believe that. You are telling yourself all the reasons some woman off the internet can't know about your situation. She doesn't know HIM-- she hasn't BEEN with you guys or SEEN the way he is with you. I have been a 13-year old girl, and a 15-year old girl, and all the way up to college and beyond, and the thing is, this stuff stays true. And someone taught me this stuff when I was young, and it spared me a lot of heartache that a lot of my girlfriends have not been so lucky to avoid.
Do not give yourself away so cheaply. Do you want a boyfriend? Do you want this boy to be your boyfriend? Then tell him that's what you want. And that, after you thought about it some more, you realized that even though you like him and want to make him happy, you're not willing to do that without getting what you want to make you happy in return, which is a boyfriend who is devoted to you and you only and who likes you as much as you like him. This guy ain't it-- he has another girl, and he's not being fair to either one of you.
DON'T DO IT!!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2007): He has a girlfriend, and to do what he asks would be very wrong. If he chooses to cheat on her, he should not involve you!
Besides which, at 13 you are much too young to be getting involved in sex. Sure, you're curious about it, but don't do anything - not with him, or any other boy. You can get hurt emotionally, not to mention the risk of getting pregnant or catching an STD.
Just because you said you would give him a blowjob doesn't mean you have to do it! You can refuse. He is just using you.
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A
female
reader, CarrieMagdelene +, writes (24 January 2007):
 Since this guy won't leave his girlfriend, and is cheating on her with you...That might provide a clue as to how he feels about women, and how he has no problem treating them as if they were toys. If he's got a girlfriend and asked you for this sexual favors...how many other girls is he asking? How many girls with sexually given infections has given him sexual favors? He could have an STD and not tell you or his girlfriend. He is endangering you both.
I don't feel you are too young. I am not against sex before marriage. Do not lie about being celebate until marriage, because you are just lying your way out of this. Seriously consider your health and weather or not you want to be treated as a toy...Even if he does get rid of his girlfriend, are you SURE he won't ask another girl for sexual favors behind YOUR back? Consider your emotional well-being as well as your health. :) -Carrie
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male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (24 January 2007):
 This guy is just trying to use you. Don't give in to his line of b.s. Here's a little test for you:
Tell him you've changed your mind and have decided to save yourself for marriage. I imagine you'll see his true colors when those words come out of your mouth. If he really likes you as a friend, he will stay as a friend. If he isn't your friend (which I suspect) he'll drop you and will be out trying to convince some other naive girl to do the same thing.
In the mean time, enjoy your teenage years and have fun. Wait until you're with someone that really cares for you and you're old enough to know what love really is.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (24 January 2007):
 Forget him right now. For one thing you're not ready for sex. That much is obvious from you having to ask whether you should or not. And yes a blow job is part of sex. Basically he has a girlfriend who will not give him one so he's playing on your insecurities and how much you like him to make sure you will. This guy doesn't love you and you deserve to have all these experiences with someone you love on your first time. Don't waste your time on this loser.
CD
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