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female
age
30-35,
*hinky_4sho
writes: okay...i havn't see my bf ever since the 5th of this month. which is okay but i got a call from him 2 days ago saying that he has to stay at Browwsoo (its like 10 hours away from where i live) for another 1 or 2 months. usually we talk on the phone every single day and he told me that its up to me if i want to move on. what is that? does he really think that our relationship is that weak? does he want me to move on? Is that why he's bringin up this subject? Please help! i'm in love with this guy. and appearantly his stuppid phone is messed up so all i can do now is leave a message. i left him like 10 messages and texts today. but what if he doesn't get them? will he get the wrong idea that i want to move on? i need some answers!! Please help!
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female
reader, chinky_4sho +, writes (24 January 2007):
chinky_4sho is verified as being by the original poster of the questionoh - i've been seeing him for 4 months now...i forgot to mention that. and i'll try to take your advice to not call him for a couple of days to see whats up..=(
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2007): Sounds like thats his way of ending your relationship to me and that he hasn't got the courage to do so face to face. As for his fone been messed up - maybe it is!! But I'm sure there's at least one public telephone that he can make a call from - even if its only for one minute!!!
Don't send him any more messages or ring him!! You've sent him 10 already which he hasn't replied to. If you haven't heard anything from him by next week - take it as its over and move on!!
Harsh I kno but its gotta be done! your too young to be living your life on a "what if" but just get out there, have fun, meet new people, make new friends - show him that you don't need him!! That he's the one that messed up and let him see what he's after missing out on
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2007): ummm ... you shouldn't have to resort to stalking to get your boyfriend to answer the phone and talk to you. if you do, he's probably not worth it.
he might have been trying to let you down easy. or he might be really into you and have worried that you wouldn't want to wait that long, so he wanted to give you an 'out', due to his own insecurity. impossible to say, really.
you left him 10 messages. (really? because the ninth one might be the one that made a difference? did you not realize that if there's a problem with his phone, he was going to get them all at the same time? sorry, not to be harsh ... don't do that next time. one message is plenty- leaving more won't make him get them any sooner. it just makes you sound a little crazy.)
try to calm down a bit. you've been dating him for 3 weeks.
wait for him to call you back, and see what he has to say. keep in mind that the two possibilities i mentioned at the start are really the only two i can think of - either he's letting you down easy, or he's insecure and is trying to give you an out. don't ask him that directly, he probably won't tell you the truth. and don't let yourself convert whatever he says into exactly what you want to hear. just listen to him when he does call back, and seriously ... be cool ...
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A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (24 January 2007):
 It's so hard to tell. Maybe he's hoping you'll break up with him to save him the bother or maybe he's being selfless and wanting you to have the chance of seeing other guys since he's been away for so long. I think you need to ask him straight out if he wants to break up. If he does you have no choice but to respect his wishes but possibly he'll turn around and tell you it's the last thing he wants. Talking is the only way to know though. You say you've left lots of messages. Don't call for a few days and then call out of the blue at a time when he won;t expect it to be you, and from a witheld number so he'll answer and then have a good chat about things.
CD
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