A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So...I think I've totally screwed up my chances with a girl, and want to know if there is ANY chance that she'll even consider dating me now.Thing is, she's apparantly a manipulator sort of. If she knows a guy likes her, she uses it to get them to do stuff for her e.g. carry books for her etc. She was getting me to do stuff like that for, and I guess I seemed too much like a "nice guy", too dependant.So... When she was asked if she'd date me, she said "ew no" (I know it doesn't look good).Anyway, she basically insulted me quite a bit. However, she later aplogised, and spoke to me a bit (via MSN), but I reckon she only did this as she felt guilty. Anyway, I decided that I should stop whining and get over her. I want to know if the entire thing could have been avoided if I hadn't been so needy and if I hadn't been so wimpy about fancying her.I still like her, and she seems to be slightly (very slightly) interested in me now, but I severely doubt she likes me in that way. Should I just give up? Or is there some way I can get her to like me now (like, if I drop the whole nice guy thing and ignore her).So what I want advice on is: Did this get screwed up because I was so needy about her, and should I totally give up or not?Thanks
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female
reader, vina_101 +, writes (25 January 2007):
 Please forget about her.She insulted you. When asked about dating you she replied "eew no." Now who would still want to be with a girl like that? She wasn't worth it. And she used you to do things for her. She doesn't seem like a very nice person from what I've just read. I think maybe from the start you should've been more in control and not let her have all the power. I know you like (liked?) her but you shouldn't have been so 'wimpy' as you put it. Maybe she's the kind of girl who likes the guy to be in control. But anyhow, I think you should forget her and move on to another girl.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2007): You said she is a manipulator of sorts, and you still want to be with someone like that eh?
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (25 January 2007):
 Well she may have been freaked out by the neediness but its possible she likes the attention and/or the book carrying so that maybe why shes showing a slight interest to reel you back in. The thing is its really impossible to tell, its entirely possible she was a little put off by the neediness or that she was being defensive. Be careful would be my advice.
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A
female
reader, ineedinformation  +, writes (25 January 2007):
it is true that she was probably freaked out by the needyness. sometimes girls can be very strange .. she answered your question with an "ew no" but she could have really been thinking "yes yes!" anyway, i think you should give up and find yourself a better and nicer girl. someone who will treat you with the respect you deserve and not use you for what you got. hope this helps a little!
-m
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2007): Ignore her and find another chick who will pay attention to you- reverse psychology- if she knows that she has you there- and then you really arent there- your with someone else- she may be insulted back- seeing that you are better than to let her get you down- you can eaisly and independnently move on to someone else. What she says has no reflection on you so.. really- just find someone else- if she really does like you back- she will chase you( or have a reason to chase you if she is jealous you are with someone else..) Play your cards right and good luck!
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (24 January 2007):
 The neediness might have freaked her out a little but it seems to me that the real issue here is why you would still want to go out with such an evil girl? Move on and find someone better and try to tone down the power of needy next time.
CD
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