A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Male answers please.I have had very strong feelings for a man for over 2 years and he is one of the managers. From the start we had a very special kind of rapport but we both have other relationships issues to resolve and we are not having an affair. We are both in very responsible jobs and we are in our 50s but I am really confused regarding his behaviour. One day he will ignore me and the next keep ringing me with minor instances to do with work. Sometimes when I am with him he is on edge and cannot seem to get me out fast enough and other times he is amusing and taps me gently. What I would like to know, is could this be sexual, I think he thinks I don't notice but he often 'adjusts' his personal area when I am sitting next to him and to say his work involves very personal issues with the public, he gets embarrassed when talk about anything to do with sex. He on one hands seems to be at ease to talk to me about very personal things that he does not say to others, yet there is this distance, and he often talks about how attractive young women are beyond what is realistic for his age and appearance. Do you think he might be trying to test my reaction, or just being honest about what he believes he will acheive in a new partner. He is very sexual and often goes on about how hot 'she' is as his fantasy, but I cannot figure out why he feels he can talk to me. He is in no way being suggestive to me or even being harrassing, in fact I quite like his honesty, but I cannot figure out if he fancies me or just sees me as a friend he can talk to. I hoped some men out there could shed some light on the possible psychology of his actions for me. He also admits to looking on dating sites then tells me no one is pretty enough for him. What can be going on?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank-you CD26 for your response. It is out of the question to ask him out. I really hoped someone could give me a clue as to where he may be coming from with his behaviour but it seems an unpopular question.
I have asked several questions relating to this problem before and perhaps people can see that, but from my point of view this problem has taken over my life and there seems nowhere else I can go to try to get some insight into his behaviour. It is very stressful to have feelings you cannot act on (as many people don't need me to tell them), but however trivial it may seem.
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (24 January 2007):
 Hi, I'm not a guy but your question has remained unanswered for a day or so now so thought if I answered it might get the guys going a bit. Sorry if that disappoints you. To be honest it sounds like he sees you more as a friend than a love interest but why don't you ask him? You're both well past the age where it would be awkward if you'd misread the signals now and it's a long time til the next Christmas party so take the plunge and ask him outright if you want to know.
CD
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