A
male
age
51-59,
*assherby
writes:Hello all,I'll give a little background first. My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. I'm 46 she's 41 both of us have been divorced from former spouses for over 5 years. We became sexually active after about 5 months into the relationship.Our sex life is very good at this point but I have a concern in this area that I've never confronted before. About 3 months ago she suggested that we try playing with some sex toys something supposedly neither of us had ever tried. My inital thought was cool. I bought a vibrator and a dildo on the net and surprised her with them. She liked them so much she wanted more so I thought cool. We fired up the pc and I let her pick what she wanted. She choose several life like dildos. About a week later they arrived at my door. I opened the package and WOW these things are huge. The dildo I had bought was on the large side of average about 7"L x 2"G and purple. These bad boys are like 8" and 9" x 2.5" to 3" on the large side of large look and feel like real skin. That night I told her she'd probabaly be a little disappointed with her choice thinking they are too big for her. I showed her the new dildos and she wanted to try them right away. She loves them.I'm an average size guy when it comes to standard equipment. Like most guys I think another inch or so would be nice but never let it get me down or had any complaints. She is toned and has excellent friction for lack of a better term. Sex pior to the toys I thought was going well on both accounts, no complaints. We don't use the dildos everytime, however, I do see a major difference in her reaction when we do.Ok now my concern is did she really need more, a lot more than I have to offer all along? Is this a deal breaker for marriage if that's true? I wonder if she may start craving the real deal at some point and go in search of. Is this something I shouldn't worry about and be happy with the excitment? Any thoughts on this?
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male
reader, Beingblack  +, writes (10 February 2013):
 I will say that you are at an age where there should be no surprises in your life. If I were to meet a woman in your age range who told me she had NEVER tried a sex toy, I would be, lets say, a little skeptical.
My partner is in this age range, and has used toys for the 20 years that we have been together, and no doubt did before I met her. Where is the sexual threat to me? We have sex a lot. She uses the toys A LOT.
Unlike the majority of women, my partner can only orgasm through intercourse. Her clitoris does not seem to work in the normal way! So she uses dildos, silicone and glass vibrators, or anything that can PENETRATE, as opposed to a Rampant Rabbit with vibrating ears.
With or without me, she can use the toys as often as she wants to, she can manipulate the speed, direction and intensity of the thrusts herself, (instead of relying on my energy levels) and come as often as she sees fit.
If you think your girlfriend prefers to masturbate with a toy to have a stunning orgasm (better than she can have during sex with you), then that is probably true. When she wants intimacy and male contact, then you are the man.
This is not a deal breaker, nor should be considered as such. She is perfectly normal, but you need to put your insecurities to one side, and revel in her sexuality.
Dont worry about the size of these toys, dont let them threaten you. Its not the size that she likes, its the fact that she can use them as SHE wants. sAs long as you allow her to use them with you, and dont make a fuss if she uses them without you, she will not ever feel the need to go looking for the 'real deal' as you put it.
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