A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Ok im 21 and i work in an office with only one other male, all the rest are female. There is one woman in the office who is constantly flirting with me and complimenting me--and i mean outrageously. At a recent night out too she stayed with me all night, then insisted on holding my hand as i walked her home. She's 37 and married. I havent acted on any of what shes said because if i have misread her signals it'll be the most embarrasing thing ever lol. Does she want to sleep with me?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2012): yes I would say she does want to sleep with you. But I am not going to pass any moral judgements because in my younger days I happened to be in similar situation afew times and wasn't able to resist the temptations.
A
male
reader, Beingblack +, writes (14 July 2012):
She is married.
You work at the same company.
I may be wrong, but you do not sound like the most experienced of guys.
So ... STAY CLEAR!!!!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 July 2012):
She might "think" she wants to have sex with you, but I highly doubt she really does. Either way I think it's irrelevant what SHE wants...
YOU should not WANT to be THAT GUY. The one who will sleep with anything with a pulse, married or not married.
She is married. Only thing that CAN happen from acting on it is DRAMA. And THAT has NO place in the work place.
Come on man! think with the other head, the one Far North!
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (14 July 2012):
Dr. Lance, talk about double-standards. A woman thinks about going after a married man and she winds up being just morally corrupt, a slut, and a homewrecker. A guy is considering having sex with a married woman and it's "okay" and it's her problem, not his. Give me a break!
Yes, I think she's flirting with you, but she's married. I'm sure if hubby cares and finds out about the little 21-year old she's been fooling around with, he could easily take care of you. Do what you will, because 20 people could tell you to not do it and you'll still do what you want. Just remember, what goes around comes around. One day you might think you're happily married and your wonderful wife is bored with you and finds someone younger on the side...it happens, obviously.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 July 2012):
Yeah it's up to him if he wants sex with a married woman and that's not a judgement on him...
the question is even if she is willing, does he want the heartbreak that goes with it?
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A
male
reader, Dr.LanceMerryweather +, writes (14 July 2012):
Hey - the guy's up for some serious advice - not moral judgement.
Anyway, it's up to her if she wishes to disregard her marriage vows and she's the one who has the final say on if sex takes place or not. And it certainly does sound like she's up for it.
Just remember - if you don't, some other bastard will.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 July 2012):
Does it matter what SHE wants? She's married. Are you the kind of man that is willing to have sex with another man's wife?
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (14 July 2012):
There are people who will do anything but before it gets to cheating they would stop. She does sound like she wants to sleep with you, and she is violating her wedding vows already. Don't get carried away. I do think you should remind her she's married and cut back contact. If you "read" her signals then you will both be happy, but you are at fault for cheating. If you "misread" her signals then she accuses you of pushing it too far. Either way you are screwed and you are playing with fire. The only signal you need is that she is married, don't you see the bloody red lights?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2012): Possibly. Maybe her husband is quite a boring guy who never does anything fun with her. I wouldn't ask her, I'd wait to see what else she does besides hold your hand.
Like
-Hints that she wants your company for the whole night and not just the evening.
-Begins to ask for more regular, planned, and personal meetings up outside of work hours.
-kisses you.
(Basically though if she kisses you, that should answer your question lol)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2012): Does it really matter?
The facts are that she's married and you work together. This really won't end well if you do sleep together. Best case you get some casual sex, worst case you lose your job, struggle to get another (no references) and her husband beats you up. There are easier wasy to get laid!
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A
female
reader, JaneSmith2012 +, writes (14 July 2012):
she's trying to flirt i guess .. But whether she's wants to just flirt with you or she wants to sleep with you it'll be better for you to distance yourself from her.. ..She's 16 years older than you , married and also your colleague .. She's probably looking for some timepass
Be polite with this woman but dont encourage her .. If you are not sure about her intentions then avoid hanging around with this woman all by yourself..If you are not comfortable with her holding your hand ask her not to and jerk away your hand firmly..
If her intentions are what you fear , then pls stay away from her at all costs as you could seriously damage your reputation in the process given that this woman is also your colleague..
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A
female
reader, AbigailBradbury +, writes (14 July 2012):
Ask yourself this... Even if she does want to sleep with you; do you really want to get in to that. She's married right? So you could destroy a whole family for the sake of a one night stand. It sounds as if she likes the attention and she knows you go along with everything she says to do, so she's carrying on. You're reading into the feelings too much. She just wants to have her fun and use you. Honestly, do not get in to that. Good luck. x
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (14 July 2012):
From your description, it sounds like she is sending you all the "signals." However, rather than plunge forward and place your bet, you need to hold back - as your instincts are telling you. BE PATIENT. IF she's interested in being especially close (intimate) with you, there's plenty of time to let that (event) come to its own fruition......
Good luck....
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