A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Question for men. Do you guys feel a certain vibe coming from women when they are welcoming and ready for some action? The reason why I am asking this because recently I became single again, and I go out a lot. Some nites guys one after another talk to me, call me beatifull, don't leave my sight and take my phone number. Several during one night. I went out few days ago in my favorite outfit that I know attract attention. The whole nite no one even said hi. They all talked to my 2 friends, but not me. I was just wondering if you guys feel that something that a woman is approachable or not. That nite despite the sexy outfit, I was reluctant of going out, tired but when I pulled myself together I was ready to socialize, well, that didn't happen. Last week I went out in my office clothes, hardly any make up, during the week, and guys were all over me. We got invited to the table because of me actually. This group was all guys and half of them were talking just to me non stop. I can never figure out why it happens. It's like 2 different people in me that men for some reason are able to distinguish and act completely different toward me different nites. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2013): I know that *real guys* looking for a relationship like the natural look on a girl. Most of all a smile and just a feeling of her being comfortable is important.
I know that when I am all dressed up, I feel more self conscience ( like Cerberus had stated) Fixing my lipstick, making sure my hair is perfect, looking around to see if anyone was "noticing me." When getting home at night, the first thing I do is take off that horribly uncomfortable push up bra LOL and scrub all the makeup off.
I guess everyone is different... You being in your office clothes, shows you have a job. You probably felt relaxed and just had fun that night. Guys find that approachable :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2013): This is OP. thank you all so much for answering. I had lots of fun reading your answers, and discovered new things that I had no idea about.
I never ever thought that you guys are so shy to come up to a woman.
When I dress sexy it's not just for men, I like to look pretty and sexy, but it's not only to attract men. I like what I see in a mirror, and it makes me happy.
Thanks again a bunch!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2013): Probably has something to do with pheromones. Men will find you more attractive when you are ovulating and less attractive when you are menstruating.
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A
male
reader, Beingblack +, writes (2 June 2013):
 For many men in bars and clubs, a beautiful and sexily dressed woman is the most frightening creature on the planet.
I have sat and 'people watched' with friends, and seen guys of all types get tongue tied, and red with shame while trying to chat up the most gorgeous woman in the room.
For me, and a lot of guys who are confident like me, shyness and embarrassment is not easily detected, so we can safely go in without concern.
Remember that each man is different, so you cannot expect EVERY man to find you attractive, EVERY night.
Personally I would go for the office type, I would tell you what type of relationship I would hope to have with you, and leave you to decide if I am the man for the occasion.
It would help if you smiled a little, when guys you like are talking to you!!! That might give them a little encouragement.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2013): I can't speak for all guys only myself. When only interested in sex I go for the flashy, glamorous women with the figure hugging nothing dresses. Because that's why they dress like that, to feel sexy and get sexual attention.
The reason I wouldn't be interested in that kind of woman for anything else is there's too much competition, you leave the conversation to go to the toilet and when you get back some taller, more handsome hunk has made his move. They dress sexy for attention so as a guy you're already on the spot with them as soon as you approach, you're going to have to make an immediate impression on them and work hard not come across as a sleazy guy only interested in them because they're dressed up.
Women dressed like that are like coiled springs too, constantly checking their hair, fixing their make up and very conscious of how they look, that can make them distracted and harder to talk to because they're a little more on guard. Basically in my experience you're going to have to work as hard with women to get them as they have on their appearance that night.
Women expect attention when they dress up, you then just become a guy who feeds that rather than a guy they may be genuinely interested in.
You see when you go there from the office OP, you were far more relaxed, not expecting attention so there's no pressure on guys to provide the right kind for you. It makes you easier to talk to as a person rather than an object of desire because you're there as you, not the glammed up version of you. The real you, not the fake push bra, figure defining dress, fake eye lashes, fake tan, tonnes of make up person, the hyperreal version of you.
Personally I'm far more attracted to a real woman than the fake, glammed up version. I can be more relaxed when I talk to them because they're not out on the pull and they're not going to be looking over my shoulder the whole time at the hotter guy they'd prefer. Much better chance with a woman who is not out for sexual attention than one who is. It's much easier to get to know a woman who hadn't even expected to be chatted up. You can get to know them without feeling like a performing monkey.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (2 June 2013):
Men prefer good looking women with moderate to low self esteem over great looking, sexy women with high self esteem. This is because most guys have moderate to low self esteem.
It also could be a vibe or lack of.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2013): Really? So, you guys are shy to approach someone you think sexy and pretty but would rather go for average looking women only of fear of rejection?
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A
male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (2 June 2013):
 Not many things in life make sense. Love is just another one of those things. Sometimes people of the opposite sex will want to talk to you and be "friendly", and sometimes they won't.
It often just depends if someone is in a good mood or a bad mood. I don't know.
Sometimes in life there are just no answers.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2013): In your sexy outfit you look too hot and threatening. Guys are thinking they are going to be dismissed or ignored or that you are out of their league. In your drab office garb you come across as average so every man thinks they have a shot with you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2013): My answer is no. Men are not mind readers although some women think they are.
But I can think of some other reason why you were not approached while dressed sexy. Most guys think twice before approaching a very sexy girl. Such girls are always surrounded by jerks and there is too much competition going on around them. So it may not be worth a try.
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