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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My male coworker and I have become good friends. I never really hang out with him outside of work because he is really infatuated with me. It even caused some tension in the beginning, when I was just getting to know him. He's not my type at all and I can NEVER see myself with him and I made that very clear. I am 0% attracted to him. Period. I do have a boyfriend of 3 years and this male friend is aware of it, I tell him about my boyfriend all the time. My question is, is it inappropriate to maybe go out to lunch with this male friend? I mean I take my lunch breaks with him but it's in the work setting so it's not like an intimate dinner or anything. This guy friend always insists on spoiling me and paying for stuff but I don't let him most of the time. And if I do it's just friendly, as in, "next time I owe you."The thing is, when I tell my boyfriend about even thinking of going, he gets really upset and irritated and so I never even bother. But this male friend is just like any female friend to me, I talk to him about random things and never flirt and put him in his place when he tries to flirt with me. Is it dangerous territory if he is interested in me but what I see in him is strictly platonic? I just enjoy his friendship and company. I would invite my bf if i could but he has already declined several times when asked to maybe get to know some of my male friends (I'm allowed to have them, just not hang out with them - EVEN THOUGH my boyfriend has hung out with females several times without me, all throughout high school, but I did let him know it made me feel uncomfortable)
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male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (24 September 2012):
For a start, you can't be friend with someone who is interested in you as a girlfriend. Whatever you do in the direction of letting him go further with you, he will see it as a sign of your interest in him. And you will be feeding his hopes. So it's unfair for him. Plus, you made your boyfriend upset.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (23 September 2012):
 By allowing this colleague to pay for your lunch when you are aware he is interested in more than a platonic relationship, and when you are also aware your boyfriend is uncomfortable with the situation you are indeed, courting disaster.
You know your boyfriend doesn't like it, he gets irritated and annoyed, so what do you do? You keep your lunch dates a secret!
Give your ego a rest for a moment or two, step back and try and view what is happening here as if it were happening to somebody you don't know. What do you REALLY see happening here?
I see a girl with a boyfriend flattered, and possibly encouraging, the attention of another man. I see a girl who knows her boyfriend doesn't like the attention his girlfriend is getting from that other man, and I see a girl chosing to not be honest with her boyfriend by avoiding the subject.
So what if your boyfriend hung out with female friends when he was in highschool, different environment, different times and different expectations. You are supposed to be a grown up now and it appears to me you are simply using that as an excuse for your own bad behaviour.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2012): This guy is trying to get in your pants, and not in a one night stand kind of way. He will be there for you when you and your boyfriend have a fight, then…
Been there done that
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