How can my husband and I handle the drama with his ex-partners and his children? It's becoming a problem
Q. I married to the most wonderful man I've ever known. We both in our 30's and are both Born Again Christians. He has fathered three boys before we met. I gave birth to one son during my first marriage. We got married in February this year a...
A. 15 November 2012: Okay, first of all you need to leave any negotiation about his children to him, and their mother. don't involve yourself with their mother.
Secondly let her take your husband to court every three months, surely after a few times in court the judg... (read in full...)
My girlfriend broke up with me for interfering with her job
Q. Hi There, I wanted to get your advice about a bad breakup I’m currently going through. I started dating my co-worker after I resigned from the company. Even before I resigned her work schedule bothered me. Our manager would call, text, and IM her...
A. 12 November 2012: You blew it. It was not your place to speak to her manager or her HR department. This upset your girlfriend and to shut you up she said she would leave her job, this is what you refer to as coming to an agreement.
So then the time frame you had ... (read in full...)
Should I stay with a violent husband for the sake of the children?
Q. My husband has violent outbursts about 3 -4 times a year. Something small will usually set him off, but everyone in the family knows to run for cover. I have three children (8,11,13) who have witnessed him exploding in a rage. The last time it ...
A. 12 November 2012: No, it is not better for your children if you stay in a violent relationship. By doing this you are teaching them it is okay for men to throw women against walls, and teaching them its okay to be physically assaulted and not say anything, in fact ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants to remain a virgin until marriage, but what if she breaks up with me and has sex with the next guy?
Q. my girlfriend and i have been dating a year now, but she still a virgin at the age of 25. we fool around alot and i go down on her and give her alot of orgasms and my finger gets more sex than me and i havn't had sex for over a year. proble...
A. 12 November 2012: You ask: what if we break up and the next guy gets it right without even marrying her?
I say, so what if he does. However, if you are making sure she is getting lots of sexual satisfaction and you are not, and you feel there is an imbalanc... (read in full...)
Would it be a good idea to speak to my Mum about the things I've learned since my father's death?
Q. I have just moved back home after 12 years abroad. My Dad died 12 years ago, and I have found out recently he had 3 other children, from affairs after another. With my Mom, who he was married to, he had 3 of us. I was aware of 1 other from an af...
A. 11 November 2012: Hey, those kids did not ask to be born, your attitude does you no credit. As for your half siblings coying up to THEIR FATHER maybe they didn't know thier mother and father were not married, or maybe he was married to their mother before he married ... (read in full...)
We've known each other two months and he's already relying on me financially
Q. Hello friends, It's only about 2 months that I am in a relationship with this guy. Since, we are coming from different countries and I know how hard it is for such kind of relationship to work, I did not take our relationship seriously. However,...
A. 11 November 2012: He is a scammer.
He doesn't love you.
He doesn't care if you go into debt.
he just wants money.
He doesn't care how he gets it.
He doesn't care if you lose everything you have.
As soon as you take out a loan and give him the money he wi... (read in full...)
I want to help my ex boyfriend's mother financially but I don't know how to go about it
Q. Im hoping for some advice on wether this is right. I have had a substantial windfall. We have kept it very quiet and only close family know about it, but now that we have bought everything we need house, car ect we want to help our loved ones but ...
A. 11 November 2012: While your idea is nobel, it may cause problems for your ex's mother, if you are able to provide her with enough money to retire on, especially if you haven't had any contact with her for a few years.
Any overtures could be viewed suspicio... (read in full...)
My friend text him pretending to be me and now he won't talk to me... Help!
Q. I've been dating a man for 2 months. He has a lot going on in his life, extremely stressful job and an autistic son that lives 6 hrs away. We've not seen each other much in the last 3 weeks because of this, but we have kept in constant contact. ...
A. 10 November 2012: Your friend acted in a very unfriendly way, so first thing you need to do is let her know how her unhelpful comments have affected you.
Two months is not a long time to be dating somebody, the fact you have apologised and he is refusing to accep... (read in full...)
Will I get the sack?
Q. I have just started my first job in a serious role in social services. I am 22. However it has been my first week , no contract yet the admin are very slow and it has been a hard week. Just realised my lunch isn't included in the hours so bas...
A. 10 November 2012: You are unlikely to get the sack, if your manager giggled at you it would seem you are going to be okay.
Your manager is now aware there were some conditions and so forth about being employed that you were unaware of. She might just sit you down... (read in full...)
I got back with my ex and made a big mistake!
Q. I've made a big mistake getting back with my ex! We split up at the start of the yr over his bad attitude and his abusive behaviour. He moved out at got his own place, he had been in his place about 6 mths when he started to pursue a relationship ...
A. 10 November 2012: Don't ask him to leave, tell him to leave. He is just using you as a convenience. A pox on that and a pox on ex husbands/boyfriends who convince us to do that which we know we shouldn't!
Good luck!... (read in full...)
I want to marry my cousin. How do I tell the family?
Q. Ok.... So me and my cousin have been really good friends for a while and a few weeks ago I was messing around with her and we got on the subject of sex. So I asked her if I could turn her on would she wana consider having sex. She replied ya. So I ...
A. 10 November 2012: If you are seriously considering getting married at the ripe old age of 17, which is a very mature and adult thing to do, you need to present your family with proof you are equipment o be that mature adult.
Research the marriage laws for your sta... (read in full...)
Crush on a guy at work who is wayy older
Q. Hey all. Its simple really but I don't know what way to go forward. Just started work and there is a man.. Now when i say man i mean a real man. That is what is so sexy but i am 22 he must be atleast 40. Single has children my age. And im work...
A. 10 November 2012: Don't! If he has given no indication he is interested don't try it on, he may be very embarressed or even horrified that a girl who could be his daughter would act like that. Besides, just because he isn't married doesn't mean he isn't already ... (read in full...)
Two years after breaking up we are still having sex!
Q. I am In Love with my ex of five years we only been broke up for two and he has a girlfriend and I have been having sex with him cause I love him alott when he leaves me I am sick to my stomach I can't even sleep. I ask him if e loves her and he ...
A. 10 November 2012: Lashay, you have to be tough with yourself, just dont be available, don't answer his texts, block his number, block him on facebook and other social network sites, don't answer the door and most of all, don't just lay back and present yourself to ... (read in full...)
I really want to find my family... I don't know what to do next!
Q. Hi guys. This is a family question. Recently my mother died. She was an alcoholic. She was adopted at the age of three month. Well, back in those days, when you adopted a child, you didn't know anything about the biological parents. Also, my...
A. 6 November 2012: Your first port of call should be Jigzaw. http://www.jigsaw.org.au/how-do-i-begin/uk/
Good luck, I wish you every success.
... (read in full...)
I'm considering leaving the relationship because I want him to be famous
Q. I love a guy and we are in to a relationship from past seven years he is a famous dancer and today if he marry me than he has to leave dancing so I thought of leaving/quiting relationship just because I wanted him to bo famous Am I doing this ...
A. 6 November 2012: Why does he have to leave dancing if he marries you? Is there a law against married men dancing? Will he no longer be famous if he is married? Does it mean he will be financially worse off if he marries? Is there no way he can transfer his dancing ... (read in full...)
Will I be hurting my own daughter, If I cut all contact with her dad's family?
Q. I came out of an abusive relationship with a man who originated from Alger. My ex-boyfriend is sitting behind bars after he beat me up and pushed me down the stairs. The problem is I have a beautiful daughter with him who is just 4 years old and I ...
A. 6 November 2012: At this stage if his family are interested in maintaining contact with your daughter, via letters and cards and exchanging photographs I would continue with that. Especially if they are aware the relationship between you and he ended with him in ... (read in full...)
Dating 11 months and he hasn't said "I love you" yet
Q. Hi All, I have been dating my boyfriend for 11 months now in a semi long distance relationship, we generally meet up every other week, the longest apart as been a month so in total Ive probably seen him for 4 months in total but we contact one a...
A. 4 November 2012: No everybody says it, remember the movie 'Ghost'? If you are close enough to be invited to spend Christmas with his family I think you should be secure enough without the little word being spoken.... (read in full...)
He is a teenage dad, does drugs, repeating 10th grade and I don't get any bad vibes at all!
Q. Hello. I apologize in advance for this post being long. Please just bear with me, I really need some good answers. To start off, let me tell you a bit about myself. I am a fifteen year old girl and am in the tenth grade. In school i'm kind of shy ...
A. 4 November 2012: You are asking for specific questions to ask him, in order to what?
Ask him why he failed year 10 and what he is doing to avoid failing again.
Ask him what his preferred drug is
Ask him if he is still sexually active and if he is now ... (read in full...)
Why wouldn't he acknowledge me in front of my husband?
Q. I want to know why a married man who I occasionally bump into and who talks to me would panick and walk away as I was about to say hi to him in front of my husband. We have a neighbourly relationship. When he saw me walking toward him, he starred ...
A. 4 November 2012: I am saying only the man in question knows why he did this. If it is so important I suggest you ask him.
... (read in full...)
Why wouldn't he acknowledge me in front of my husband?
Q. I want to know why a married man who I occasionally bump into and who talks to me would panick and walk away as I was about to say hi to him in front of my husband. We have a neighbourly relationship. When he saw me walking toward him, he starred ...
A. 4 November 2012: I think what happened was he was walking along merrily and then saw your husband, who had the same shirt as him and he went "Oh Gosh, I was supposed to pick up the dry cleaning and my wife will kill me if I forget it again" so he turned on his heel ... (read in full...)
My mother is destroying my relationship
Q. How do I stop my mother ruining my relationship? I am currently living at home with my mother and my boyfriend. The situation is probably not the best considering both me and my partner are in our early 30's but due to lack of money neither of...
A. 4 November 2012: Maybe its time to recognise your boyfriend may have outstayed his welcome. You and he should now go and foist yourselves on his mother for a change of scenery.
Is your boyfriend making himself at home or is he mindful of the fact he is living i... (read in full...)
He is a teenage dad, does drugs, repeating 10th grade and I don't get any bad vibes at all!
Q. Hello. I apologize in advance for this post being long. Please just bear with me, I really need some good answers. To start off, let me tell you a bit about myself. I am a fifteen year old girl and am in the tenth grade. In school i'm kind of shy ...
A. 4 November 2012: Once upon a time I was a teenage girl. I remember the 'pull' of the bad boys, hmm, I was a woman in my 30s once upon a time as well, and guess what, those old pheremones were still out and about in the atmosphere, spreading themselves over all and ... (read in full...)
My b/f left his wife to be with me, I'm pregnant and worried that he's not in for the long haul!
Q. hey all im just a little worried here. my boyfriend who is 48 and i got together about a year ago. we were working together and i just fell head over heels in love with him i met him in august and we moved in together after his wife threw him out ...
A. 4 November 2012: "as far as the money goes well yes he makes good money. but since he has been paying her we lost our apt. and he had to file bankruptcy and had to move in with my mother, so im not in it for that".
oh, you And he is still paying her, that's g... (read in full...)
Our friends keep asking us if we would like to "house swap" with them! They are relentless!
Q. This may seem trivial but I'm really angry about it... Basically my partner and I have bought a lovely 3 bed house. We've worked hard to be able to afford it- sacrificing things, working all hours, not having a decent holiday for the past 4 y...
A. 4 November 2012: Be blunt, and then tell your husband if he`wishes to maintain a friendship with them he can do it on his own, and away from your home. ... (read in full...)
Already spent 1000 dollars to help the man I love to come to visit me and now he's asking me to take a big loan for him
Q. Hello to all, When I went to china recently for a training course, I met a guy. I thought that our relationship would be only brief but he told me that he wants me to know that it was not only about getting some fun for him but he has feelings...
A. 4 November 2012: This man is a`conman, scammer and a thief. Do not give him any more money, and as he is in your country speak to your police to see if you can recover the money he already has from you.... (read in full...)
Our friends keep asking us if we would like to "house swap" with them! They are relentless!
Q. This may seem trivial but I'm really angry about it... Basically my partner and I have bought a lovely 3 bed house. We've worked hard to be able to afford it- sacrificing things, working all hours, not having a decent holiday for the past 4 y...
A. 4 November 2012: Nahhh, surely they are not serious, but, if they are, next time they bring the subject up tell then you are getting tired of hearing it, ask them to change the subject and if they find themselves unable to do so, start limiting contact. I can ... (read in full...)
Girls with boyfriends: would you ignore another guy who had a crush on you and not say you had a boyfriend?
Q. I would like to know if any girls out there who are in a relationship ignored another guy that they know had a crush on them and not tell them that they were seeing someone? Why would you not just tell the guy who has the crush that you are seeing ...
A. 4 November 2012: Maybe the crushee doesn't realise the crusher has a crush. Maybe she is totally oblivious, or maybe if both are in the same social circles the girl is mature enough to realize once the crush is acknowledged the dynamics of the social (or other) ... (read in full...)
My b/f left his wife to be with me, I'm pregnant and worried that he's not in for the long haul!
Q. hey all im just a little worried here. my boyfriend who is 48 and i got together about a year ago. we were working together and i just fell head over heels in love with him i met him in august and we moved in together after his wife threw him out ...
A. 4 November 2012: Gosh, aren't you a lucky little pumpkin to land on your feet. One positive in your favour, you already know he is capable of cheating, so if he ever does it shouldn't be the shock it must have been for his wife of how ever many years. After all ... (read in full...)
She used to be promiscuous so I want access to her online activities!
Q. Is it okay for me to ask my fiancee to look at her emails, texts, and facebook one time? I will gladly let her look at mine. I am engaged to woman w/ a very promiscuous past and want to confirm that she will be faithful by asking to read h...
A. 4 November 2012: You say: "I am not comfortable at all with her sexual past because the thought of two guys with her at the same time disgusts me. However, I am a confident man and can deal with her sexual past".
Sorry, but no, you are not dealing with her sexu... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable to my ex boyfriend?
Q. Hi everyone, basically a few weeks ago my ex boyfriend from 4 years ago asked me if he could come stay with me for a few days during his time off work. Knowing exactly what he's like with planning stuff and then never getting round to doing i...
A. 4 November 2012: He wants free board and some sex thrown in on the side. If he wanted to rekindle your romantic relationship he would approach this differently, he would know a few dates, maybe flowers, some romantic words etc, would be needed.
Its your place, y... (read in full...)
My ex doesn't put any effort into our friendship
Q. We broke up because of distance. I was very deep into it so I tried 3 times to disappear and just cut her out of my life. Each time, she begged me not to, pleaded and said that it was unfair. She wanted me there, as a friend (and maybe someday as ...
A. 4 November 2012: Hey, remaining friends after a relationship is not obligatory. You don't have to be enemies, but if the friendship angle is not working, there is no reason to not let it drop, move on, develop new interests and make new friends.
You are her ... (read in full...)
He is a teenage dad, does drugs, repeating 10th grade and I don't get any bad vibes at all!
Q. Hello. I apologize in advance for this post being long. Please just bear with me, I really need some good answers. To start off, let me tell you a bit about myself. I am a fifteen year old girl and am in the tenth grade. In school i'm kind of shy ...
A. 4 November 2012: The attraction is chemical. Pheremones are at work. You do not have to give in the the attraction, you are a thinking being supposedly capable of analytical processes.
He is a bad boy. He is 16 and already has a child. He does drugs and fail... (read in full...)
Out of all my past gf's she's the one who loved me the least yet I find her the hardest to get over.
Q. Has anyone seen that movie '500 days of summer'? Well I think it best sums up my "relationship" with this girl. Its been over a year now since I've known her and I've been pursuing. But after I saw this movie for a 2nd time I just learned a lot. ...
A. 3 November 2012: Now that it appears you are prepared to hear her when she says she isn't wanting a relationship with you, and now that you recognise all those red flags, you are well armed and prepared for the next time she tries to get that cycle of hurt ... (read in full...)
Financial situation with husband's kids, ex and myself is making me want to leave the marriage!
Q. My stepdaughter has been living with us for 4 months. She does not pay rent, clean house or buy food. She has a full time job but spends her money on wine, clothes and going out. That brings me to my problem. Her mom and dad have the wackiest ...
A. 3 November 2012: Thankyou for clarifying. As you and he are not married there is no reason why you cant just up sticks and walk, and leave him and his ex missus and their grown children to wallow in this mess of their own making.
And be firm, dont go back unt... (read in full...)
Does my wife want me back?
Q. I was married to my wife for over 20 years. She walked out on me 4 years ago.We haven't divorced and we have 2 college daughters. After she walked out we didn't talk for over 2 years.I started forcing divorce on her, she's been a liar and a cheater ...
A. 3 November 2012: Okay, here goes. She walked out, that means there was something wrong with the marriage, wrong enough for her to walk.
So take a minute to hear me out, you say when you asked her to come back she said she didnt know if she could trust you. I ... (read in full...)
I had sex with my B/f in my parents' room and they got to know about it and are mad at me!
Q. Hi everyone, I need some help. Me and my boyfriend have been having sex for the past 4 months, we're both 17 and consenting so there really isnt a problem. But my parents found a condom wrapper on the floor of their room (the only double bed in the ...
A. 3 November 2012: Grovel. And then grovel some more.
... (read in full...)
My husband would prefer I not take medicine for my anxiety. I stop and we suffer in our marriage!
Q. Firstly, I understand nobody's perfect. Within each and every one of us lies a chemical imbalance of some sort. Mine is Generalized Anxiety Disorder. This is caused by my Attention deficit Disorder. ( ADHD) I recently learned this from my Psychiat...
A. 3 November 2012: If you believe your medication is not working for you talk to your doctor.
But it sounds to me your husband just doesn't beleive in the medication you need, is that correct? If it is the case, again, talk to your doctor, and then take your hus... (read in full...)
I'm married, he's married. I guess I'm stupid and need help in trying to end things
Q. I am a married woman having an affair with a married man that I have reconnected with from college. I am in love with him and he says he is in love with me, but seems to not want to commit to a timeframe for leaving his wife. His elderly father has ...
A. 3 November 2012: Q: What's in it for him?
A: Regular blow jobs.
Q: What's in it for you
A: Nothing
There is no sexual gratification for you, you are having to creep around keeping things a secret because thats what he wants, you give him blow jobs, because t... (read in full...)
What do I do about a B/f who is extremely physically abusive?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend four years now and all we do is fight. He get bad temper and beat me up. We have a child together and hit me in front of her. He has pushed me down the stairs slapped and punched me and kicked me on the side while i am ...
A. 3 November 2012: You call the police, you tell them what is going on and then you stick to your resolution to make changes in your life. It must be very frustrating for them when they are able to offer assistance to a woman who has been abused and bashed, only to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend went to prison for 2.5 year today and I can't cope!
Q. I'm sad. My boyfriend went to jail/prison today, I love him more than anything else in this world. We're so perfect together from the day we met we've been so crazy about each other. We've been spending everyday together, Laughing, smiling, joking ...
A. 3 November 2012: All you can do is get on with your life, if you lack money find ways to make it, even if it means taking in ironing. Start a savings plan for a car, draw a graph in the shape of a car, every %5 saved colour in a square.
Create new hobbies to occup... (read in full...)
I broke things off because he is confused about his ex. He still wants to be friends?
Q. I've been dating a guy for a month now, I already knew he had recently broke up, but he assured me he didn't want to get back with her. He introduced me to his friends, took photos off my Facebook showed everyone(he didn't tell me till after) s...
A. 3 November 2012: You are his back up girl, if things don't work with his girlfriend you are there to fill the gap.
I wouldn't be going out of my way to 'be friends' with him, however there is no reason why you can't be polite if you meet each other in the street, ... (read in full...)
Financial situation with husband's kids, ex and myself is making me want to leave the marriage!
Q. My stepdaughter has been living with us for 4 months. She does not pay rent, clean house or buy food. She has a full time job but spends her money on wine, clothes and going out. That brings me to my problem. Her mom and dad have the wackiest ...
A. 2 November 2012: Try talking to him one more time, choose a time when it is usually calm at you house and he will be receptive (not some time when he would usually be watching sport or something). Do your sums, point out how much you earn and how little benefit you ... (read in full...)
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