A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys, long story cut very short.. Basically I've been seeing this guy for just over 2years I havnt been in a proper relationship with him because he has a wife and he lives with her and all that malarkey! So I've basically just put up with being his bit on the side!! About a month ago we had a fight because he thinks I've changed, IveStarted a new job and in hanging out wit different people (the wrong people) bad influences he thinks because of the way I'm changing!! We didn't speak for about 3 weeks then I found out something about him! He's having a baby next February with his wife, from when I found out I thought that's it we can't carry on this now so I called him and ended it I said I want the phone I call him on and the money he owes me but he wouldn't give it to me we ended up fighting again over the phone!! He calmed down and said to meIs this what you really want and stupidly I said no!! This situation is bad but we actually do love eachother!!! I saw him last night to talk things through and to end things on a good note but he ended up going through my phone and seeing these guys numbers on there he went crazy I explained who they were and why they were on there but it doesnt look to him the way it is!! He said to me u carry on doing what your doing (meaning hanging out with my new friends and seeing these guys) but I'm not even seeing anyone there just friends and 2of them are my mates numbers she keeps in my phone!! He got my bag threw it out the car and then pushed meout and drove off!! There's not really a situation anymore but I love him so much and he feels for me to because he's told me and I can tell it comes from his heart when he says it! I know if I carry this on I'm going to be trapped forever wit someone I can't be with especially now he has a baby on the way.. But I don't know howTo get over him! I still want him in my life baring in mind whats going on now.. I dnt want him to think I've changed or I'm linking someone because I'm havnt and im not.. I really do love him
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2012): Look lady let me make this as plain and simple as possible, this man is not in love with, what you can "see" is coming from his heart is actually coming from his pants..it's not nice to hear someone is using you for sex/money/emotional crutch but that is what he is doing.Look he's got a child on the way and he's not going to leave his wife for you or it. He's controlling and abusive, actually threw you out of a car for what? Having a life that doesn't revolve around him?!! He's married for christ's sake! He has absolutely no say in what goes on in your life whom you hang out with etc.So how do you move forward? It seems this guy is like some drug you can't get over and you won't be able to be with anyone else until you sort out your feelings and get him out of your life and heart.YOU HAVE NO FUTURE TOGETHER!!! That is first and foremost, if you think this guy whom is perfectly happy cheating on his pregnant wife is the man the you want a future with then you need to re-evaluate your life.THIS IS NOT A RELATIONSHIP!!! He abuses you and controls you..oh and he cheats on his pregnant wife.He thinks you have changed..IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT HE THINKS!!! It's your life, get this clown out of it!!DON'T GIVE HIM SEX!! Let's see how long he wants to be your friend then..oh and if you do give in, this is the same man who got his wife pregnant, probably waiting at home wondering what her wonderful husband is doingSAVE YOURSELF THE GRIEF!! If and when the wife finds out, it's going to put not only you but your family, friends and neighbours through unnecessary strife..not worth it girly!Go find a guy who will love you and respect you! :) Have some pride in yourself!Good luck!
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (16 September 2012):
 I call bullshit!
He doesn't love you, if he did he would not be having a baby with another woman ... and that woman would not be his wife.
He is abusive and manipulating you. He is a cheater and a liar and an adulterer. How dare he complain about your getting on with your life, starting a new job and making new friends. Where does he get off?
You know what you should be doing, shutting the door, not taking his calls, blocking his number so he cant call or text, not having any thing to do with him at all. You owe it to yourself.
As for his wife and baby on the way, I have pity for them, what a crap husband and father he is, I doubt very much she deserves him for a husband.
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