A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hey need abit of help in a situation i have found myself inGf saw me flirt with a girl online , this convo only lasted about 10 min, but she got very upset and i told her it meant nothing its jut facebook and i would never EVER cross the line and cheat (meet up) , anyway i deleted the girl of facebook as my gf wanted and now she has not replied to my txt or calls, bare in mind we live togather , she thinks ' i have betrayed her' and ' our trust' she posted some fotos on facebook about trust being broken and now she has run off somewhere, folks im really worried about her and have no idea what to do, no matter what i say she wont believe, this is first time she has EVER done this since we began dating, over year ago, in the past 2 weeks tho she has become really paranoid and i guess towards the end of the 2 weeks her paranoia's drove me over the edge i tried to break up with her during it but i decided to stay, i only wanted to break up because her jelousy and paranoia was getting very anoying and abit over the top, naywya she has gone somewhere and i have no idea where, she sent me ONE txt at 2 am saying '' dw about me im safe staying night at freinds house. goodnite '', and i sent few txts but no reply, do you think she is sleeping around or is that just my paranoia? LADIES if u were in her position, what would make u not txt or call ur bf? she says stuff to me during our relationship and even before '' i love u forever '', '' i always want to be with u '', '' ur my world '', '' il never leave u '', etc but now SHE HAS GONE, SHES NOT THERE FOR ME, WHERE THE HELL IS SHE? is she playin a game and getting me back for the flirt? dont u think this is abit overboard ? or am i just thinking way to much into this? i have not slept last 24 hours and very stressed and worried, cant eat. any help would be apreciative thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2012): Uh, WHY did you need to flirt with a girl online when you HAVE a girlfriend that says that she LOVES YOU????It's not JUST FACEBOOK. Facebook has led to many breakups in relationships.You crossed the line by flirting with another woman.You need to grow a pair and man up to the mistakes that you have made with your girlfriend.You hurt her badly by your irresponsible behavior and actions. Of course, she in not there for you...you weren't there for her when you had your mind on flirting with other women.Ask yourself, would you be okay if she was flirting with men online and saw it as nothing really and harmless??All you can do at this point is ask her for forgiveness and promise NEVER to do that again and mean it. You will have a long road ahead to prove to her that you mean what you say. That is if she does forgive you at all. Be prepared that she may never come back to you and that you may have lost her forever.A woman needs to know that she is number one to her man. She needs to feel secure in a relationship. It's not fair that she should have to compete with other women for your attention.This should be a hard lesson learned. If you want to have a true relationship your number one priority is to give that person your attention and time. A relationship needs to be nurtured. No one said a relationship would be easy. It's a partnership and problems need to be discussed and worked out together. But never ever flirt with other women if you want to have a sustainable relationship at all.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2012): Dude seriously?! U want to leave her for being jealous? What did you think as going to.happen when she found out? You thought she was going to smile and say I like the.fact you are flirting with other women it really make me feels special? R u really that delusional? Just like you are wondering if she is sleeping with someone else and you are now paranoid. How do you think she felt?! It you want to be in a committed relationship, no flirting, sexting, or any type of romantic online anything. You betrayed her. You may have to also except.the fact that she may not take you back. Best of luck to you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2012): 'Gf saw me flirt with a girl online'
' those other girls dont mean shi*, '
So it's more than a one off, you have flirted with several girls. You did betray your GF, you broke her trust. That crosses a line that it's up to your GF to draw. She obviously isn't happy being with someone who flirts with other people.
All you can do is apologise for screwing up so badly and hope that she can forgive you and learn to trust you again. However you actually have to BE sorry, not just say the words and you have to be prepared to change your behaviour. After all that effort she may still decide that you're not worth it.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (15 September 2012):
 You were going to break up with her due to her reaction to your flirting. And then you decided not to.
The fact she saw your flirting/cheating on line was just the start .... I have a feeling whatever happened during the two weeks between her seeing your flirting and your deciding not to break up with her is what decided her to move out for a while.
You sound as if you expect her to just lay down and take whatever you dish out, and are quite dismissive of her feelings.
I don't think she is playing a game, I think she is seriously considering what she wants from life.
What you failed to realise when she told you how much she loved you, she wasn't saying I will love you forever, regardless of how you treat me, she was saying I will love you forever unless you give me reasons not to.
You should use this time to also seriously consider what you want from life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwhat can i do to fix this, i love her, those other girls dont mean shi*, i know this is fixable, if she means the things she says i know it can be saved, but what should i do? or say?
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (15 September 2012):
Flirting with another girl online definately 'crossed the line.' you might not consider it cheating, but SHE DOES.
I think you should sincerely apologize to her and take things from there.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2012): Sorry but you did betray her trust by openly flirting with women on facebook, if my husband done that id be upset! To be fair i think shes a bit silly to just vanish but can you really blame her for being paranoid? You gave her a reason to be paranoid by doing what you did. If you go looking for flirtatious convo online then whos to say you wont take it futher! Im afraid that you should probably expect to be broken up with over this if shes dissapeared, as she certainly doesnt seem to want to speak to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2012): Sorry buddy, but you cheated mentally...although not physically. As far a women are concerned, that is the first step to crossing a line. She saw a red flag, and ran. She is not jealous, she is protecting herself.
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