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My neighbor told me he saw my girlfriend sneaking around with my friend. They said no way. Who do I believe?

Tagged as: Cheating, Friends, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 September 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 14 September 2012)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, *ac88 writes:

A neighbour/casual friend of mine has told me that my girlfriend has cheated on me with one of our good friends. He said he saw him leave the house one day when i was out, and that the guy also told him he had slept with her a while back and that her good friend also said it was true.

I spoke to my girlfiend first and she said it was complete cr*ap and that she would not dream of doing anything like that, swore on her sick mothers life etc. She said our friend only came round to sell her some tobacco he got from vacation.

I spoke to our friend, and he also denied it and said the exact same thing, and that he never said that to our neighbour. He said our neighbour was paranoid and has other issues.

I spoke to my girlfriends good friend who I'm also friends with-longer than her in fact, and she said she hadn't even seen our neighbour for months and said my girlfriend or the neighbour never said such a thing.

What to believe ?

View related questions: cheated on me, neighbour

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (14 September 2012):

Aunty BimBim agony auntIs your friend really dumb enough to tell your neighbour stuff he, (your friend) slept with your girlfriend? Does your girlfriend's friend dislike her friend, (your girlfriend) so much she would drop her in it with your neighbour like this?

Ask yourself the questions, you know your friend, your girlfriend and her friend, are they the sort of people who would talk about themselves and each other like this.

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A female reader, AbigailBradbury United Kingdom +, writes (13 September 2012):

AbigailBradbury agony auntIt sounds as though this person is stirring. If they're watching what's going on in your life then they obviously have too much spare time. They're probably bored with their life and need some juicy gossip so read too much into things. The other advice is all right - you should leave it now. If it crops up again just be cautious. Don't go through accusations around, else you could push your girlfriend away. Don't let this eat you up. You need to know facts before you confront her again. Say sorry (I know it's hard when something eats away at you) and be attentive to her, make sure she doesn't need anyone else. :) xx

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2012):

You made a big mistake in confronting your gf without proof. Now lay low until you gather evidence.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (13 September 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntwhat benefit would your neighbor gain from having you and the GF fighting or breaking up?

I can't imagine that seeing him leave the house is enough to make you wonder...

what motive would the neighbor have?

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A female reader, maverick494 United States +, writes (13 September 2012):

Tough call. It is possible that the 3 of them are in a pact to keep their stories in line (I've seen it happen before and yes some of them even swore on their loved ones' graves.)

On the other hand with 3 testimonies against him, it could be that your neighbor's story is indeed BS. Are there any motives he could have had to tell you a lie this big? How did he go about telling you?

In any case, I would stay alert. Telling someone they were cheated on takes guts and it's a thankless task because most often, the person doesn't believe you even when it's true and gets angry at you. As he's your neighbor it's a especially big risk because if things get bad between you two you still live next to each other.

Why would anyone want to tell someone something that has such a big impact unless it's true? He either must hate you (or your gf) or have some huge payoff for that to make sense.

But I don't know your neighbor. If he's shown weird, unusual behavior before it could be possible.

Anyway, I'm not trying to make you scared or trying to purposely blame your girlfriend. Just keep your eyes open, because there's something off about this.

If you have some context that would put this in a different light, please share it. Good luck OP, it's hard being in your position.

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