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reader, Serpico  +, writes (3 October 2012):
Do you have children of your own? If not, she is making a pretty large request in asking you to accept hers.
The way I see it, she is the one that needs to make sure you are comfortable, not the other way around....
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionfolllow up from my last post from awhile ago things finally over a few months of work comunication things are great im glad things worked out for her and me. the kids love having me agound they fight over who gets to play with me first if its super hereos (actions figures) with her son or barbies and animls with her daughter either way all three of them grew onto me and i grew onto them. thanks very much for the support and help
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionfustrating isnt the word. i do what is asked of me from her. i explained to her we all have made mistakes but putting a wall up to keep a person out that did no harm isnt fair. i will give it a little bit more time but i would hate to call it quits with the amount of time energy money spent to get the relationship to kinda move along. like i said before her daughter and son really enjoy me being around but i wont stay just for the kids. i know better then that. im just lost with this whole open up and close up personality that my girlfriend has. when she opoens up smiles laughs acts like a loving caring person im proud to be with her but at the same time i dont know what to do when she asks for space or becomes rather quiet and dosnt say much to me. i asked her if in the last 6 months if im doing somthing wrong and all i get is no your fine. i feel that there is somthing there that she dosnt want to tell me but then again ive jumped the gun alot with her cause of what i went through in my own past relationship.
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reader, Tom Obler  +, writes (29 June 2012):
 Hi
Thanks for follow up. So it seems you are no further forward than when you first posted. April thru June about 2 months in total. So annoying, so very frustrating. Well, you can hang in there for a little bit more or you could take a big risk and call things to a close. She may react and get closer. However, it seems a shame but in the NOW,she is not really available. I'd say, give it two more weeks or so and if nothing changes or moves forward, then say you are going. If she doesn't make a full hearted attempt to keep you, then you will have to follow through and just leave. It's a shame, but you can't allow yourself to be messed around for too much longer. Hope it works for you though. All the best.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthis is anupdate to my question. things havnt really changed. anytime she opens up she closes right up and undoes the space she filled in.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionher family and friends tell her im a keeper. all these things have fallen just right for her. like her kids asking her to have me take them places or watch them on the weekend. she said thats never happend before with both of them. i help her with court papers cause ive already been down that road in the past. so to me its like i do all this for her and i just want to make sure its the right thing to do. i cant force her to open up but yeah i am being careful and paying close attention to how she feels
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionher and i talked thursday evening alone and we will again friday during the day when the kids are at school. she asked that i move in this weekend for good. she also talked about her past and her ex husband. she is worried that i will be like him and once i move in i quit trying to work hard and have devotion in our relationship. as i told her i do what i do cause i was raised as a gentleman later as an officer. her mom told me that im the 1st guy that didnt run at the 1st sign of trouble
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reader, Tom Obler +, writes (9 May 2012):
Hi,
Well, she has asked you to be patient and wait so that's what you should do. However, if things are dragging and you find that you are being ignored or you sense someone else on the scene, then that's when you move on. But ok, give her the space for a short while and see what happens. But remember that you have your own life and ideas so if someone else comes along for you then don't pass up any opportunities.
Thank you for follow up, let us know how things go. I hope it works for you! Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell we talked everything is still on hold. she was is willing to talk and explain herself to me. she asks that i be patient and hang in there.
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reader, Tom Obler +, writes (6 May 2012):
Hi,
Any further developments to your situation or do you need any more help at all? Hope all is better for you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe was married to her high school sweet heart and have been divorced for about 4 years. she since has been short term dating. ive been the 1st guy as she told me that actually stuck it out and not run. as for the childrens father he isnt in the picture. she has no attachment to ex husband and before her changing her mind she was thrilled to have me around. her kids love that i spend time with them n not just her. i just dont have a cclue what caused this 180 in changed.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe was married to her high school sweet heart and have been divorced for about 4 years. she since has been short term dating. ive been the 1st guy as she told me that actually stuck it out and not run. as for the childrens father he isnt in the picture. she has no attachment to ex husband and before her changing her mind she was thrilled to have me around. her kids love that i spend time with them n not just her. i just dont have a cclue what caused this 180 in changed.
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reader, Tom Obler +, writes (29 April 2012):
Hi,
A few months is not a long time. My wild guess is you may be her rebound but I could be wrong. Does she have a recent break up within 2 years? Was she married or in a relationship with her children's father? The sudden reaction of her in this could be this. She is confused as they say and has her emotions moving in the past and the future. All you can do is give her the space she requires but I wouldn't hold my life back for too long. If things dont pick up in about a month, I would move on. Has she mentioned past relationships? A significant partner at all? Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwhat caused this change i have no clue. i pitch in with her bills watch her kids when she has doctor appointments ect. her friends n family tell her dont let me go im a keeper and she asked if i would move in. then maybe 2 days ago she asks for space.
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reader, Dodds  +, writes (28 April 2012):
 Women can be complicated at times, but this instance do as she asks, give her space, spend less time together, leave her to her own thoughts, let her think about you and actualy miss you when you are away.It may make no sense and seem counter-intuitive but women make decisions based on how they feel or even how you make them feel, so give her her wings and just relax and focus on yourself for now.If you try to do things your way and not as she asks you run the risk of pushing her away as she may well feel pressured or up against the wall. Just take it easy, everything should be ok
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2012): "Why or what could have caused her to change her mind?"
Sounds like she thinks she might have found someone else who can give her more than she can take from you.
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