A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Used to date this guy for 2 years, 7 years ago. We broke up because i moved to another country to study in the university but everytime i go back to my home town we hook up. I still love him a lot and he says that he still loves me too. My dream was always to get a masters in England but i want to be with him soo badly. I do not know what to do because i am torn between getting a masters in england or in my home town... On one side i want to go to england but on the other side i want to go back to my hometown to be with him because he makes me soo happy and i feel like he is "the one". I am also afraid that if i choose him and love over my dreams that i will regret my decision one day if our relatioship ends... I am willing to give up my dreams to be with him but i am scared... What if things between us doesn't work out like we wanted? What if we get tired of each other? What if we realized that what keeped our love to each other strong was the distance? I am soo confused and scared!!
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male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (30 August 2012):
Dont give up education, life plans, a good job, or dreams for anyone this young. If you're married, thats one thing, but IMO bfs/gfs are a dime a dozen, and come quite easily. Dreams dont.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2012): From previous anon male to previous anon female regarding her quote:
"On a side note, I don't recall ever seeing a 'love vs. dreams' question here from a man. Men don't feel that they have to choose, they are confident that they can have both. Just something to think about."
Very perceptive observation; although Dear Cupid posters are not representative of the female demographic as a whole (God, I hope not), it still amazes me that there are so many women who are willing to define their existence by having the presence of a male in their life at the expense of their own individual identity, no matter how low a form of gutter-crawling sewer-dwelling deadbeat loser lying cheating abusive controlling scumbag he may be.
There is obviously no shortage of male DC posters who are users of that popular dessert topping for cats otherwise known as Pussy Whip, but even those losers don't seem to see themselves as trapped in "love vs. dreams" dilemmas, they just whine about being played for the fools and suckers they are.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2012): "What if things between us doesn't work out like we wanted?"Then the two of you will eventually break up and you'll be left with nothing but a lifetime of regrets over giving up your dreams, goals and ambitions for a juvenile infatuation. "What if we get tired of each other?"Then the two of you will eventually break up and you'll be left with nothing but a lifetime of regrets over giving up your dreams, goals and ambitions for a juvenile infatuation. "What if we realized that what keeped our love to each other strong was the distance?"Then the two of you will eventually break up and you'll be left with nothing but a lifetime of regrets over giving up your dreams, goals and ambitions for a juvenile infatuation. "If I choose love over my dreams, wil[l I] regret it?"Almost certainly. NO guy is ever worth giving up your dreams, goals and ambitions. If you are meant to be together (very, very unlikely) then you will eventually find your way back to each other without your having to sacrifice everything you've been working your entire life to achieve. Don't be a fool and throw your life away before it even starts.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2012): Well your still quite young, if you already got a degree in what ever your mastering in the doors should always be open for it. At the time though you were also 18 or younger when you dated and have seen each other little since for just hook ups. Some people are okay with telling a white lie to get laid, you never know if he can be doing this. In my opinion you should do whats best for yourself, continue school and try finding someone that will sweep you off your feet and forget about him.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (30 August 2012):
You're already at a distance and if he's "the one" then he'll be there when you get back. He'll wait if he feels you are too or either he can come with you so you can fulfill your dream.
Whatever you do, don't ever put your dreams on hold for a guy. If he's not "the one" then there's always someone else. If you go back to your hometown and things don't work out (because they haven't before so that's some proof right there) then you will regret not going to England.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2012): Education is so important, never give it up (or give up your dreams) for love. If you give up your dreams and the relationship ends you are left with nothing.
If your love is meant to be it will survive while you're apart. And if it doesn't last, you will be sad for awhile but you will have your experiences and education. No one can take that away from you.
On a side note, I don't recall ever seeing a "love vs. dreams" question here from a man. Men don't feel that they have to choose, they are confident that they can have both. Just something to think about.
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