A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My friend and I were looking at plenty of fish dating site today because we were really bored in work I've never been on there but she said she knew loads of people on there with cringey photos and stuff they'd written about themselves. Well I came accross my boyfriend on there! It says he's single and looking for a relationship. It says he's been on there in the last week and the photos are ones I know he's taken whilst we have been together. Even one I took and he's wearing clothes I bought him! We haven't had the best relationship and are on and off again all the time. I asked him why he was on there and acted totally dumb then sent me horrible texts. He then said he's been set up and he didn't even have an account on there. Looking on there now its been deleted, so that was obviously him. He's being horrible saying I should believe him, swearing at me and saying he doesn't care because he knows he's not lying and even swearing on his kids lives he didn't set it up. I really hate when people even say that. The way his info is written on there sounds just like what he would say, even down to the smiley faces he uses. He thinks I'm an idiot if he thinks I'm going to believe what he's saying. Should I break up with him over this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2012): Well, I am so glad for you, you know not all women can be brave or as bold as you are, in other words, to just let go that easy. But sometimes we have to. Otherwise we would be focusing on the wrong person and how would we ever get a chance to find the right one?
But I am so happy for you.. Message me when you have questions or need advice again.. Good luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2012): Manhater that's a really good idea, love it! If it happens again with someone else I won't even explain what's happened! Worst thing in all of this he called me a slut nearly everyday because he was so paranoid I was seeing someone else when all along it was just a guilty conscience. Really glad I found out sooner rather than later.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2012): Excellent move, breaking up with him and never look back, 'coz you need someone who will only have eyes on you, if his not that one, You better move on and find the right one for you.
I totally love women who knows how to ignore and let go of their bf/husbands who treat them like a trash.
Actually, the best move you've should have done for this jerky bf is the disappearing act kind of move, nothing is more satisfying than leaving a jerk wondering where did he go wrong. hahaha anyway, Great Job leave him.. Dont look back, girl..
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (2 October 2012):
 YOU ARE NOT STUPID....
love makes us do things we don't normally do and accept things we other wise would not accept...
please remain strong
please take care of yourself and don't cave into his bullying techniques.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2012): God I know I'm such an idiot, when we argue he has his ways of turning it around on me. Well today has just pushed me over the edge, I broke up with him then ignored him and I've had voicemail saying he thinks I set the account up. I have no idea why he's so insane! When I asked him how the account is now closed he said the admin department did it when he contacted them. What a pile of BS. I'm fuming with myself that he's blaming me and just lying and lying. I've had messages calling me a slut and all sorts. I'm never ever going back there again. Thanks for pointing out how stupid I am! X
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A
female
reader, oohlala11 +, writes (2 October 2012):
I know you'd be resistant to all the advice here and probably get soft when you think of how much you love him. Now think this, what if you ignore this and go on marrying him. It's bound to happen again. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 October 2012):
why do you even have to ask?
or are you asking because you are hoping some guy will post how correct your idiot BF is..
he's busted.
he was looking
he got caught and now he's trying to turn it around
you will NEVER trust him
it's been on and off as it is.
yeah I'd dump him... he'll be a jerk about it however.
what you can tell him is "use it as a learning experience so that your next GF doesn't have to suffer like I did"
and go NO contact... men like this guy are notorious sweet talkers that will do their best to convince you that it's YOUR fault.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2012): cheating via dating websites yet again. i think they are more successful for catching cheating partners than they are for dating. dump him honey, he`s shown you enough disrespect already and believe me, he will lie again and again and again. the fact that he needs a website to cheat on you sounds to me that he may not be the good catch you thought he was.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (2 October 2012):
Yes - what men and women will say and do to cover themselves is laughable.
Sorry ladies - its a human condition, not a masculine one....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 October 2012):
 After all that you still don't know if breaking up is the right thing?
Really?
To quote you: *** He thinks I'm an idiot if he thinks I'm going to believe what he's saying. ***
So you should stay with a guy who treats you like you are an idiot? Who OBVIOUSLY posted a "singles-add" and when caught lied about it and then deleted it.
IS that how you think a guy should treat you? Is that acceptable to you?
Why hold on to this relationship? Sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs (in your case a toad) to find the right guy. He isn't it.
I think you already know what is the right thing for you to do.
Though.. if you decide to stay.. You can be sure he will do it again, he will just hide it better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2012): I went through this crap. It went on for years. If you dont dump him, his disrespect for you will get worse.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 October 2012):
 I guess this won't have come all of a sudden out of the blue ,.... I you are always on again off again. When both people are compatible, and happy in their relationship, ..they stay ON.
On/ of " relationships" have no reason to exist, really, it's basically people treading water till they find someone they like better,... and your bf 's action would seem to confirm that.
He's one of those people that can't stand being caught red handed and taking responsibility for their actions, that's all. Don't go thinking that his " I swear this, I swear that " mean that can't stand the idea of losing you , and proceed getting rid of him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2012): "Oh, what a man will say and do to cover himself. It's laughable."
I couldn't agree with this more. I've heard some real good (and not so good) whoppers myself.
OP, your boyfriend doesn't think you're an idiot, but he will if you stay with him. And even if you do get him to tell the truth, it's ONLY because he got caught. That doesn't count as a real confession, because he was perfectly content to live a lie as long as no one knew. Forgiveness isn't an option here.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (2 October 2012):
 Yes, you should break up with him over this. Obviously he is shocked, humiliated and scared to have been caught, which is why he's lying and all over the map.
There is nothing to fix here. You'll be so much happier on your own.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2012): "He thinks I'm an idiot if he thinks I'm going to believe what he's saying."No, he doesn't think you're an idiot because you believe what he's saying. He thinks you're an idiot because you're unwilling to trust your own judgement, you caught your boyfriend red-handed but you didn't dump him on the spot, instead you had to confront him therefore giving him a chance to concoct a lame laughable self-serving BS cover story that's caused you enough doubt to post on Dear Cupid looking for affirmation that you're right and he's wrong. "Should I break up with him over this?"You should, trust your own judgement and dump him on the spot after catching him red-handed indicates it's very probable you're not going to break up with him; most likely scenario is boyfriend will tell you whatever you want to hear in order to weasel his way back into your affections and keep you in his bed. You know he's a scumbag who has zero respect for you, yet you're polling virtual strangers for our advice; that tells me you have no respect for yourself, otherwise you wouldn't tolerate such intolerable behavior.
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A
male
reader, arghhh +, writes (2 October 2012):
If you straight out asked him and he still lied, it's time to move on. He's not worth your time or love. If he had told the truth when you confronted him, forgiveness could be an option, but obviously not the case here. Best of luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2012): When you said "We haven't had the best relationship..." my opinion of your problem totally changed.
I mean if you had said your relationship had been good up until this point I'd have said give him another chance but now am thinking he's trying to see what's out there for when you two next fall out.
In which case you should just break up,he is obviously just waiting for your next falling out to use that website to find himself a date.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2012): Oh, what a man will say and do to cover himself. It's laughable. Let him go. He is a lying sob.
A cheater and a liar. That's a dealbreaker.
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