A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 19 in a relationship with a 17 year old for just over a month. I know its not long, but she has gotten really serious very fast so I feel like I've accidentally made a larger commitment than I had hoped. I've met her whole family (extended and all!) which I hate. I feel I spend more time awkwardly talking to her family than I do with her. This imbalance is a problem in and of itself.The main problem as of now is money. I have been working all summer, but that money is to support me through college. We live about 2 hours away from eachother and each trip is costing me nearly 20 euro. I've been down to her 4 times, and she's been up to me twice (on a cheaper ticket). I know she doesn't have as much money as me, but I resent having to spend so much. On top of that, when college starts up (my first year), I won't have nearly as much time to come see her on weekends because I need to make friends and stuff.I just don't know what to do. I like her, the sex is ok (she is very vanilla, I'm not, its a bit boring) but the whole thing has become a lot of work and effort so fast, I just feel kind of trapped. I feel like I'd really hurt her if we broke up.
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male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (31 August 2012):
Ive done LDRs before. They are -
1) Expensive. Mine was NY and SF, so the travel costs were huge.
2) Temporary. You have about 6-12 months to make a decision either way or 1 above, among other things, will start to make the decision for you.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 August 2012):
 You will hurt her if you break up but you will hurt her more in the long run if you stay with her and leave later when angry...
Basically you just have to bite the bullet and tell her, I'm going to college, money is tight, maybe it's better if we just be friends....
and KNOW it will not be that... it's just the gentle way to end it.
if she gets crazy you may have to go NO CONTACT but it's best to end it now....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (31 August 2012):
 You are damned if you do and damned if you don't. That is the facts of a break up.
I don't really see you expressing a whole lot of love/care for this girl, so maybe breaking up is not a bad idea, it's ONLY been a month and you are already looking for things that will make a break up OK, you know?
I would let her down gently, let her know that you need to focus on school and don't want to string her along.
Next time, I suggest you go a little slower. Get to know the person before sex. Make sure you BOTH want the same from each other.
Good luck and don't feel to bad, sometimes relationship don't work.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (31 August 2012):
 Break ups are never pleasant but unfortunately they sometimes are necessary. By as gentle as you can be but don't leave her with any false hopes.
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