Ended affair last night.What can I do? Is there any point in hoping she could leave him? Or was I just played by her?
Q. I have no one else to talk to. For past year I have been in affair with coworker. Last summer we agreed that we will leave our partners and be together. I did it, she did not so I went NC for next two months. This autumn she started chasi...
A. 24 December 2012: When two attached people find one-another, strike up a romance/tryst, and claim that they are in love and wish to spend life with one-another, they are entering a minefield of emotions laced with acres of hurt, anguish and broken promises and ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to be addicted to masturbation? It's becoming distracting.
Q. Is it possible to be addicted to masturbation? Can't stop fantasising and it's stressing me out. It's not like I want a boyfriend or want a sexual partner. I rather not be sexually active and get tangled in at all that at the moment.It's real...
A. 24 December 2012: ANYTHING - an activity or something you eat or drink (eating disorders or alcoholism) - can become a problem IF it is undertaken and continued in such a manner that it interferes with (your) "normal, regular" life activities...
That said,...... (read in full...)
When I want sex he says no, when he wants sex its a different story
Q. been with fiancee for almost 3 years. i had him wait to have sex for 8months when i decided to loose my virginity. i know how he use to be in the past he would have sex with every girl he met. we got together and that all changed it was jsut me he ...
A. 23 December 2012: We guys are funny creatures. WE LOVE the chase of a virgin girl.... and are ecstatic when we pluck her virginity from her.....
BUT, we have short memories.... fleeting loyalties.... and strong desires to go out and bed another girl (especia... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't know if we can be more than FWB!
Q. For about a few weeks now, ive had sexual relations with a guy i work with. He is the most attractive guy ive ever been with, and has a beautiful personality. Im completely taken by him, i love his smile, his eyes, his hugs, etc...i wake up excited ...
A. 23 December 2012: When it comes to "FWB" arrangements, guys are notorious for not really "putting anything" (like feelings or emotions) in to it... since we can be "FWB" simply by getting our penises to feel good....
Women, on the other hand, often "invest"... (read in full...)
She treats me like dirt? What can I do?
Q. To everyone else we are perfect for each other. Photos of us together are all over her facebook. She`s forever announcing to the world how much in love she is, and she tells me that all the time. There`s also another side to this. Her secret d...
A. 23 December 2012: WHY spend even another few minutes in a situation such as you described????????
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Why would he lie and should I confront him about it?
Q. I caught my BF in a lie about his contact with his ex-GF. He says he told her not to call, email or txt and that he hasn't heard from her in months. I talked to his sister and she told me he told her the ex had been bugging him to meet and have ...
A. 23 December 2012: His "lie" was one of OMMISSION (not telling you about the attempts by the ex- to get to see/spend time with him...).
He KNOWS that you get upset about such matters.... and he also knows that he kept up his part of the bargain (to NOT have contact ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has trust & insecurity issues and broke up with me for no reason. I'm so hurt and confused ....
Q. Last night my boyfriend broke up wit me via text. He accused me of shopping for some attention. I went out shopping yesterday and he said that I was looking for some attention and I absolutely was not. He said that he can't trust me. He has trus...
A. 23 December 2012: You write: "I'm not sure what to do here, this is a pattern of his."
IF it's a "pattern".... then that means it has happened more than once in the past. What you can do is crystal-clear; EITHER, you buy in to his abusive behaviou... (read in full...)
What could I have done better? How to proceed from now on? advice please?
Q. I need some advice ok. I've been married for four years and we fought off and on and we have 3 children together. Four months ago my husband said he was going for a walk but never came back. Three days later I found out he left me for another wome...
A. 23 December 2012: Cripes, this is easy....
Put this lout behind you.... and get on with your life ("lives," actually.... you and your kids)....
Good luck........ (read in full...)
He expects so much. Gives back nothing. Am I not supposed to feel appreciated by my boyfriend?
Q. Dear cupid My bf of 3 years never appreciates me even for things I do for him. However much I do for him and the lengths I go to do things for him, he just treats as if it's my duty to serve him. Am I not supposed to feel appreciated by my b...
A. 23 December 2012: I read "despair" in your submittal.... you are asking, in fact: "Aren't I entitled to a little respect, from him, if I am dating a guy???"
The answer, of course, is "Yes, you should expect it. AND, if you DON'T receive a little respect or conce... (read in full...)
She told me to date other women. Trying to forget her but it's hard. Any advice?
Q. So I met this single mom from a dating website. Things were going great. Until I began to be unsure about dating her. I thought she would be better off dating someone that was on her level(career wise, ect.). She replied to me by saying "I'm not ...
A. 22 December 2012: Yes... forget her and date other women, as she suggested....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want me to wear makeup or nice clothes
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for these past five months. I love him dearly but he's very possesive. He constantly tells me not to wear make-up and not to wear the latest trends, insisting on letting me wear only shabby clothes. When I tell him why, ...
A. 22 December 2012: I'd say this young man is a budding "control freak"... and YOU are his first conquest.....
Best suggestion: Put some distance between you and him.... You may ignore this suggestion... but, if you do, you will be setting yourself up to be within t... (read in full...)
My inability to orgasm is causing me to not enjoy sex with the man I love.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together just over a year. We love each other very much, he's my best friend, he's so caring and we are very affectionate. However, whenever we have sex.....I just don't enjoy it! I find him incredibly attractive, but ...
A. 21 December 2012: I suggest that you print out a copy of this submittal... show it to him ....and say, "Hunchy-bunchy, we have to do something new and different on my behalf, in the bedroom. Are you ready to do a little fun experimenting???"
If my hunch is corre... (read in full...)
How can I stop myself from falling in love with someone I can't be with?
Q. Hi. About a week ago, I posted a question about how I still had lingering feelings for the ex-girlfriend of a friend of mine. I was having trouble dealing with the fact that she was in a loving relationship with another guy and had simply chosen to ...
A. 21 December 2012: Some people believe that, if you want to stop doing or thinking something, you should put a rubber band around your wrist.... and, any time you find yourself veering to the "forbidden" thoughts, you SNAP that rubber band....
I think it's largely ... (read in full...)
I've got a crush on my brother in law and he's got bad taste in women...
Q. hi, i think my brother in law got a crush on me. before i used to hate him for things he had done and trying to come between me and my husband. now all of a sudden he is being nice to me. we never used to talk but now he is holding conversation with ...
A. 21 December 2012: Well.... NOW you get to see if he REALLY has "bad taste in women"..... by whether or not he hits on - and succeeds with - YOU!!!!!!... (read in full...)
Should I lose my virginity to a prostitute?
Q. I have been single for years I cant seem to meet women interested in me. Women I have dated all dumped me for other people , they all say I am a "lovely guy" but they always see, to go for arrogant pretty boys who usually treat them like crap.Every ...
A. 21 December 2012: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO....
Is that clear enough?
Good luck........ (read in full...)
Why has he changed since we started living together? We don't have sex and he says I'm no longer beautiful.
Q. What makes a person to change when you have just stayed together a month when you have dated for years? My friend has changed a lot and no longer makes love to me and now he even told me that I'm no longer beautiful the way I was when we met. W...
A. 21 December 2012: You've discovered the primary risk in "living together"... (or, "shacking up," as we USED TO REFER TO IT!!!!)
Your boyfriend now has you available to him - for s*x - 24/7. As well.... you (and he) are now in such an arrangement that makes YO... (read in full...)
I'm second guessing my decision to leave my cheating husband
Q. Hi. I've just separated after being with this guy since I was a teenager. Now in my 30s with 2 kids he's all I ever knew. He claimed cheated on me and when i said im leaving, he claimed to be gutted, said he was seeing a counsellor, and taking a...
A. 21 December 2012: If - and when - you decide that the partner that you've been with is NOT a good partner for you.... THEN it is incumbent on you to part ways with him/her..... and.... despite second, third... or MILLIONTH "thought" let them go, and YOU get on with ... (read in full...)
Why are married men drawn to me?
Q. I really have the hots for this guy that works at my place of business but he is married well actually the both of us are really feeling each other. I know this is wrong but why does this happen to me? it's seems like I attract men that are taken an...
A. 21 December 2012: You are discovering that women (you're one of them) can exude an "aura" of availability and interest......
I imagine that the only way you can avoid the plight that you describe is to be uber-cool to those guys who seem to express interest... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my boyfriend let me touch him?
Q. I don't understand, but my boyfriend will touch me anywhere,(lying on my bed with clothes on!) but when I try to touch him, he moves my hand. I've mentioned it a couple of times: why don't you let me touch you and he says that he will "but not yet " ...
A. 21 December 2012: I suggest that you respect his limits... and let things "happen" more slowly..... and in keeping with his comfort levels......
Have fun...... (read in full...)
I feel like he's using me for oral sex and doesn't value our friendship anymore, what should I do?
Q. Hey guys, hoping you will be able to shed a little light on this situation I'm in. There's this guy I've known for awhile, and before we became friends we fooled around (oral sex) over the summer. After this however, we became close friends. There ...
A. 20 December 2012: You write: "Any idea on why we grew apart and what I should do from this point?"
You ("we") grew apart because he determined that he could keep you on the hook for oral sex.... whilest HE didn't have to do ANYTHING that smacked of being a "boyfr... (read in full...)
Is keeping a memory box lame and depressing? My friends comment upset me!
Q. I just wanted to get another opinion on this as my friends comment I thought was rude and didn't make sense... Basically, in my room at university I put in this wristband someone gave me the night before from an epic night out in this box. She as...
A. 20 December 2012: It was uncalled for, for her to pass judgement on something that YOU like to do... and which affects no one else.... and makes you feel good!!!
Let it pass... and continue as you have. IF she brings up the subject, some "next time".... and is c... (read in full...)
How do I cope with these feelings of hurt, jealousy, rejection, and anger?
Q. Currently separated for about 5 months, not hoping to reconcile, but there are still some feelings there (particularly because we have a young child and I'm hurting worse now that my child will not grow up with both parents). Husband flew to hi...
A. 20 December 2012: It's never fun to have a separation/breakup/divorce happening during "the holidays"... when life is "supposed to be" all fun-and-games.... BUT, that's what life gives us, sometimes....
You write: "Is there anything I can do to try to get over the... (read in full...)
I have a beautiful friend, and I'm jealous to the point where I don't want to hang out with her in places where she draws a lot of attention.
Q. I have a dilemma. I have this friend, a girl, who I know for the past 5 years. She is very sweet, and we are not that terribly close, but we see each other we really enjoy each other company. The thing that about 9 months ago she broke up ...
A. 20 December 2012: This is one of those cases where a little "fib" is allowed.
You can choose those times when you WOULD like to spend some time with her..... BUT, other times, if you'd wish to "pass" her invites.... simply tell her that you have to wash your hai... (read in full...)
I want more then just "friends with benefits"
Q. I've been seeing this guy over the past 11 weeks at university, who happens also to be my flatmate. After breaking up for the holidays, it came up in conversation that I liked him and was interested in more, but he made it clear he wanted to stay as ...
A. 20 December 2012: "FWB" arrangements routinely morph in to something wherein the FEMALE would like it to be "more"..... but the guy is quite content to get a little nooky, whenever he (and she) wants...... YOU are in that predicament, now...
Your choices are clea... (read in full...)
He treats me pretty badly but I still like him and don't want to give up on him, what should I do?
Q. For the past few months I've really been into this boy I met. We're both in the same major at the same school, but he's a year older. His girlfriend broke up with him at the beginning of the year and as of now they're best friends still and she has ...
A. 19 December 2012: You write: "Basically, he treats me pretty badly but he's sweet about it if that makes sense...."
You may STOP there..... It DOESN'T make sense.... so all the rest of your submittal, which really asks the Aunts and Uncles to validate his boorish ... (read in full...)
What does a guy think when a girl has her period?
Q. What do you guys think if you often see girls act awkward when they have their period? OR when you know they have it? Does it turn you off? I have no idea but every time I have period, I freaked out and I think everyone knows. :(...
A. 19 December 2012: Many of us guys think that a girl is "unclean" during that week.... but we are willing to accomodate her by showering together prior to anything "good" happening!!!!... (read in full...)
How long does it take to get over someone and is it possible to be friends after a relationship?
Q. How long does it take to get over someone and is it possible to be friends after a relationship? I split up from my ex about 7 months ago but we kept in touch via email (he lives abroad). Even though we both knew (and said) we still loved each oth...
A. 19 December 2012: You should pine over the breakup for AT LEAST 1 month for every month's duration of the "relationship"......
.... OR, until the next hot guy comes by.....
WHICHEVER COMES FIRST!!!!
Good luck....... (read in full...)
I feel like my boyfriend only sees me when he has nothing better to do!
Q. I am 27 and have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. The problem is it seems like he only sees me when he has nothing better to do. I cannot get him to agree to do anything at the weekends because he wants to wait to see what else is happening, plus ...
A. 19 December 2012: WHY expose yourself to his childishness?????
YOU can get on with your life... make your own plans... social with whomever you wish... whenever, wherever, however.... and - if he gets the drift that you've left his game and asks you "Why?"..... (read in full...)
What did my girlfriend mean by this text message?
Q. My gf sent me this text and idk what she's getting at I'm a bit afraid to ask her because I get a bad vibe from reading it here's the text "Tummy, I don't want you to feel obligated to tolerate me ok? We aren't bound to eachother... Ok? o.o" oh she ...
A. 19 December 2012: A message such as you've described is the beginning of a dumping.... (her, of YOU!!!!).... Brace yourself for the second shoe!!!!
Good luck...... (read in full...)
What can I do to deal with my flirty (but not with me) husband who will not make love to me yet masturbates regularly?
Q. I have had it with my husband. We have been married for 16 years. The first 6 years I would say was great especially trying to have kids at that time. We ended up having 2 children. After our second child I noticed my husband wouldn't make an...
A. 19 December 2012: When the sex and/or intimacy evaporate.... then the relationship or marriage is OVER.... until/unless BOTH participants are willing to recognize that ONE of the participants has a SERIOUS VACUUM in what they believe is their "relationship/marriage" ... (read in full...)
I think my live in boyfriend of 2.5 years has feelings for his co-worker
Q. I think my boyfriend has feelings for a coworker and it's making me feel really insecure. We've lived together for 2.5 years now and talk about getting married. We have an odd relationship because we have very little in common. This coworker is...
A. 19 December 2012: OP: YOU'RE the one who wrote: it's "eating me up inside..." and, "What can I do to feel better?"....
All that fluff in your second note to me "sounds" like the validation that YOU'D like to have for his boorish behaviour.
Believe me...... (read in full...)
Does anyone else here feel small because they don't look as glamourous as pornstars or glamour models?
Q. Does anyone else here feel small because they don't look as glamourous as pornstars or glamour models? I feel like I'm helpless, my ex made me feel like this. We were on about glamour modelling, he said something like do you think you could be one, ...
A. 18 December 2012: Believe me,... if I let myself feel smaller and smaller as I got uglier and uglier - relative to glamourous models and porn stars.... you would need an expensive ELECTRON MICROSCOPE just to see me!!!!!
Good luck.....
P.S. I think you're cut... (read in full...)
What's going on??? Did I do something wrong?
Q. So my boyfriend and I are in bed sleeping and his phone goes off indicating he had a text message, it's about 12:15 a.m. He looks at the phone and the message says hi. I'm like ummm, who is that? He's like idk, they text before and when I called ...
A. 18 December 2012: Sounds to me like your "relationship" with this guy has run its course.... and it's time for YOU to put distance between yourself and this creep.....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
My husband is tired of me. How do I deal with the rejection?
Q. I'm having a very hard time dealing with rejection. I'm 30, separated after 6 yrs marriage about 4 months ago. Marriage had it's good times, but was generally not very happy and there was a lot of verbal and emotional abuse. I stayed becaus...
A. 17 December 2012:
I suggest that you take a Magic Marker and write "miserable" on one hand and "Happy" on the other....
Go to sleep that night... and, the next morning, look at both of your hands and decide which one you find the more enticing.... and go ... (read in full...)
Ladies: questions about sex on the first date.
Q. I would like to know two quick things about women ************************************ 1) how often do women have sex on the first date, If you have had sex on the first date... 2) what does it take for you to have sex on the first date?...
A. 17 December 2012: Damn, tennis star.... I hope you don't like me... and would like to "seal the deal" some time!!!!
... (read in full...)
I think my live in boyfriend of 2.5 years has feelings for his co-worker
Q. I think my boyfriend has feelings for a coworker and it's making me feel really insecure. We've lived together for 2.5 years now and talk about getting married. We have an odd relationship because we have very little in common. This coworker is...
A. 17 December 2012: You can "nit-pick" the details all you wish. The crux of my submittal STILL applies.....
I get the impression that you'd LIKE to get a DIFFERENT "reply"........ (read in full...)
Do I persist? Or break up? We argue quite frequently.
Q. okay so I would appreciate some good advice. I got into a relationship extremely quickly a couple of months ago, in hindsight I wish it wasn't as sudden as we didn't have time to get to know each other better. We argue quite frequently and h...
A. 17 December 2012: You write: "....We argue quite frequently and...."
Arguing is NOT the basis of a "good" or "adequate" or "great" relationship. It IS what children do, on a school yard......
IF you would like to have an ADULT "relationship" then find someon... (read in full...)
Is he interested in me? He knows my attitude to sex.
Q. My ex and I were dating for about a month and made it offical as boyfriend and girlfriend for 3 weeks. I wouldn't have sex with him yet since I thought it was too soon. So he opted to just completely ignore me and he left me for another girl. (who's ...
A. 17 December 2012: Sure, he wants to go and see a movie with you.....
BUT, he's likely also banking on it that, if he plays his cards right, he CAN get you to put out....
Take the date.... and see what develops. We guys have an uncanny ability to "tip our hand... (read in full...)
Anyone know this average?
Q. What is the average number of men a 26 yr old girl has slept with?...
A. 17 December 2012: Most 26 year old women have slept with 5.75 men.....
THAT's the fact, Jack........ (read in full...)
I think my live in boyfriend of 2.5 years has feelings for his co-worker
Q. I think my boyfriend has feelings for a coworker and it's making me feel really insecure. We've lived together for 2.5 years now and talk about getting married. We have an odd relationship because we have very little in common. This coworker is...
A. 17 December 2012: May I re-state what I THINK you've written:
"My "B/F" of 2-1/2 years.... who I moved in with, despite having not a bit of reason to believe that he would be true to me.... has found a woman with whom he has just about EVERY compatibility, with her... (read in full...)
When are hugs from another woman mean more than a hug
Q. how to tell when a hug from another woman means more than a hug ...
A. 17 December 2012: When she reaches around and squeezes my buttocks, at the same time that she sticks her tongue in my ear..... I interpret that as more than an innocent "how do you do" hug.... You may use this a one of your guidelines....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Ladies: questions about sex on the first date.
Q. I would like to know two quick things about women ************************************ 1) how often do women have sex on the first date, If you have had sex on the first date... 2) what does it take for you to have sex on the first date?...
A. 17 December 2012: You are in luck... because I can give you a certain answer to your query....
IF a woman is a tart, or strumpet, she will readily have s*x on a first date..... IF she is a "lady" then there is NO CHANCE that she will put out on a first date....... (read in full...)
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